Does anyone know of an online bookmaker who will lay bets on the Breeders Cup races now?
Tried to have a bet on the Classic earlier today, but deposited only to be restricted to £7, with the price halved immediately afterwards. Would obviously like to have a much bigger bet, so does anyone have any ideas? I've tried some, but want to shop around for the best price, so as many ideas as possible would be great. Thanks!
In Which a Single Mom Totally Sells her Lifestyle.
Covid restrictions are lifting a little in my area, so yesterday I met my brother for lunch. I told him about this subreddit, and we started laughing about bingoes we’ve received (he’s also childfree because we come from a breeder-ish extended family.) He’s admitted that I’ve had it worse from my family because I’m a woman, but he hasn’t been immune himself. We reminisced on this story from a few years ago. The Cast Me, ScarlettTheRed. 24. Proudly childfree. BigBro. My elder brother. 27 at the time. One of the greatest men to ever exist. BabyBro. The awesomest 12 year old ever. Keeps old people like me up to date on what all the kids these days are doing. SingleMom. Early 30s. Brood of boys. Hockey mom. Lets begin the tale. I was about to get married, and had been receiving a lot of bullshit from my Breeder in laws. BabyBro’s Junior hockey team had made the semi finals. My fiancée had promised to help a friend move, so I was on my own for the day. BigBro and I went to watch BabyBro’s game (I know a lot of you wouldn’t want to give up a Saturday afternoon to watch a bunch of middle schoolers play hockey, but he was so excited and my parents were out of town and I wanted to support him and...) Anyway, BabyBro was staying with me for the weekend. BigBro picked us up and we all headed to the arena. We wished BabyBro good luck, and he went off to warm up with his team. Then we sat in the bleachers with a bunch of parents. We found a seat near Single Mom. She was sitting with a boy of around 8-ish playing a 3DS and another boy, maybe 5? He was wiggly and she kept telling him to sit down. The game starts. The announcer calls out the players as they glide onto the ice. BigBro and I holler for BabyBro. SingleMom: You guys look way too young to be the parents of a middle schooler. What’s your secret? BigBro: Oh, we’re not parents. We’re brother and sister. We’re just here to support our little brother. Me: Yeah, neither of us are really kid people. (I love BabyBro to death, but holy hell, nothing knocks all desire for kids out of you quite like having a younger sibling after a big age gap.) SingleMom: That’s wise. I had my oldest at 21. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have had him so young. You only get your 20’s once, you know? Best to live your life and do what you want BEFORE settling down and having children. BigBro was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. I was not. Me: I actually don’t want kids ever. I did enough babysitting for my little cousins as a kid (read: I was roped into babysitting because faaaaaaamily) and I don’t think kids would really add to my life. SingleMom: That’s what everybody says. My sister said the same thing, and now she’s a mom. You’ll probably change your mind too. Me: Well, I got sterilized, so....(really should’ve kept my fucking trap shut.) SingleMom: Oh, that’s a shame. What are you, 22?You’re so young. You don’t even know what you’ll want in your 30s. What’s better than having a family? Me: (recovering from the whiplash) Peace and quiet and free time. BigBro motions for me to leave it. We watch the game. BabyBro scores two goals. We holler. A conversation begins somehow. SingleMom: I don’t remember seeing you guys at any earlier games. Did your brother begin late in the season? Me: Nah. We just go to a few of his games. My parents are out of town and this was important to him (it was the first time his team had made it to the semi finals since he’d been playing.) SingleMom: (laughs) Must be nice to do whatever you want on the weekends. Me: It’s the best. SingleMom: Yeah, I was a team mom the past two seasons, but this year I’m the den mother for this one (claps 8-year-old’s shoulder as he’s engrossed in his 3DS.) It’s hard being a working single mom with kids who are in so many activities. Tomorrow we have church, then a Scouts meeting and a birthday party to go to. Me: (not sure what to say without sounding like a cunt) Yeah, it sounds time consuming. SingleMom’s kid scores a goal. She hollers. The 5 year old screams so loud, my brother and I flinch. The 8 year old is unresponsive. SingleMom: Why don’t you put the 3DS down and watch your brother play? 8yearold: I want to keep playing Pokémon. 5yearold: Take it away from him! Take it away from him! SingleMom: HUSH! 8yearold, give me that 3DS. You’ve spent too much time on it today already. 8yearold: Hockey is boring! I don’t want to! SingleMom: 8yearold, give me the 3DS or you lose all your screen time privileges for the rest of this weekend AND next weekend. 8 year old grumbles, hands over the 3DS, and pouts. The second quarter winds down. BabyBro’s team is ahead. BigBro: I’m gonna get a hot cocoa before the lines get super long at halftime. You want one? Me: Hell yes. BigBro heads out for cocoa. He comes back with two cups. The buzzer buzzes for halftime. 8 year old: Can I have a hot cocoa? SingleMom: Well, your brother’s team is going to X pizzeria after the game. Do you want a hot cocoa now or a sugary treat there? 8 year old: I want a hot cocoa. SingleMom: All right, but if you want a treat there, I’m going to remind you that you had a hot cocoa here (side note: I hate it when people talk down to kids like this.) SingleMom gets her brood in line for the refreshments. They come back with waters and hot drinks. The third quarter begins. Something’s gotten into the five year old. He crawls over the bleachers, under the bleachers, stands up and screams in our ears. The mom snaps at him and snaps at him. The other team scores a goal. He boos. SingleMom: Stop that! That’s such bad sportsmanship! I feel a tug on my blanket. I turn around and see the five year old. SingleMom: Stop that! I’m so, so sorry. Me: It’s whatever. I think we’re just gonna move. Come on, BigBro. We move and watch the rest of the game. I can hear the screams from the other side of the bleachers. We hollered when BabyBro scored, but we hollered like MATURE ADULTS, dammit. BabyBro’s team ends up losing. They’re not going to the finals. We meet up with him in the lobby. He looks quite glum. BabyBro: I really thought we would make it. BigBro: Hey, cheer up. You scored five of your team’s goals! Me: Yeah, you’re the MVP to us! Tell you what, for doing so well in your game today, you can pick one of my buttons to keep (I have a nice button pin collection on my bag.) I only give these away to people who earn it. BabyBro looks at the buttons on my purse. BabyBro: That one (he picks out a button.) BigBro takes the button and holds it up. BigBro: For being a total badass on the ice, I present to you.....the highest award in all of youth hockey....the “I Am A Total Badass On The Ice” award. He fastens the button on his jersey. BabyBro: My team’s going to X pizzeria. I want to go. Me: We heard. I LOVE X pizzeria. Let’s go! BigBro: I’ll head out and warm up the car. Me: Go ahead. I need to pee. I pee. SingleMom flags me down in the lobby. SingleMom: I’m so, so sorry for my son’s behavior during the game. He lost pizza privileges after you left. Me: It’s seriously not a big deal. Thanks anyway, though. SingleMom: Your brother is really handsome. Is he single? Me: Yeah, but he doesn’t date moms. SingleMom: Oh, but I just saw him with your little brother. He’s so good with kids! Me: It’s really just BabyBro. He doesn’t really know what to do with kids he’s not related to. SingleMom: I’ll bet he’ll change his mind when he meets the right woman. Whatever. I’m not arguing. We head to X pizzeria. It’s this awesome local pizza place in my town with a bar and some bomb af desserts. Fuck it. Cheat meal. BabyBro sits with his team. Most of the families sit at a separate table and order drinks. BigBro and I get a separate table by the fireplace because we aren’t masochists. I start with a gin and tonic, and we order pizza. It was quite delicious. I maaaaaaay have also ordered a couple glasses of wine. Hey, BigBro was driving and doesn’t drink, so we met the “at least one responsible adult” quota. BigBro: Man, that was good. You want to order the lava cake? (This place has a gigantic lava cake big enough to share.) Me: Count me in. I’ll get BabyBro. I come up to BabyBro and tap him on the shoulder. Me: Hey BabyBro, we’re gonna share the lava cake. From the table behind us, I hear... SingleMom: You had hot cocoa at the game! I told you, no dessert! 8yearold: HE gets lava cake even though he got a milkshake! SingleMom: I said NO! BabyBro and I head to the table. We order and then devour the lava cake. BabyBro is not my child and therefore his sugar consumption is not my problem. Things start winding down. Families start heading home. BabyBro’s talking to one of his friends. SingleMom approaches us. SingleMom: It was nice meeting you today, BigBro. BigBro: Thanks! It was nice meeting you too. SingleMom: I just wanted to know if you wanted to get a cup of coffee at some point? BigBro: Thanks but no thanks. I don’t date single moms. Me: Told you. SingleMom: Oh, my boys are just being rowdy today. They’re usually really sweet. BigBro: As I was saying, I don’t date single moms. A shadow crosses SingleMom’s face. SingleMom: Ugh, men are all the same. You see a woman with kids and you consider her “spent.” It’s not my fault my husband left me with three boys. BigBro: I didn’t say you were spent! I said I don’t date single moms! People are allowed to have standards on who they date. SingleMom: You don’t understand how hard it is. Every weekend I have to drive my kids all over town, and then come home and cook and clean and do yard work. Sometimes I just want a partner to bring a little stability to the family. I’ve been rejected by so many guys just because I’m a mom! You don’t know what you’re missing. At this point, I have a few drinks in me and let it loose. Me: Look. You made your decision to be a mother. That is fine. We made our decision to not have children and not spend our weekends ferrying our children to multiple different activities. My brother’s allowed to want a woman who is compatible with that lifestyle. You don’t get to demand men date you if you don’t have what they want. (I know. I’m the greatest sister in the world.) SingleMom stares at me. SingleMom: One day when you have children, you’ll be in my position. Me: What part of “I’m sterile” do you not get? I did it specifically SO I won’t have children. SingleMom: BOYS! We’re leaving. She stomps out with her brood in tow. We pay the bill and call BabyBro to get in the car. Me: You SURE you don’t know what you’re missing, BigBro? BigBro: I think her youngest gave me permanent ear damage. I’m good. Me: You could change your mind! I see in your future a woman with twelve daughters. BigBro: GOD, no. Me: It’s your duty to bring stability to a family! BigBro drops me and BabyBro back at my place. BabyBro and I spent the rest of the weekend doing whatever the fuck we wanted. TL;DR Men, it’s your duty to date single moms.
Written byRedAlertWagers.comon September 28, 2020 Horse Racing Betting News The final Triple Crown horse race of the year happens on Saturday, October 3. Although Belmont and Travers winner Tiz the Law will skip the Run for the Blackeyed Susans to ready for the Breeders’ Cup Classic, Kentucky Derby winner Authentic will enter the starting gate. The Baffert trainee faces serious speed in filly Swiss Skydiver, though. Will Authentic prove too tough to get by in the Preakness? Check out top plays and Horse Racing Odds from Preakness Stakes for Saturday, October 3. You can also visit our Online Racebook to place your bets on active racetracks.
Horse Racing Odds & Pick | Preakness Stakes Early Predictions
Right now, it’s difficult seeing any contender out running Authentic to the first turn. Swiss Skydiver has enough speed to do it. But if the filly goes after Authentic before the first turn, her jockey could compromise her chances to win. Once Authentic gets the lead, he’s almost impossible to run down. Since no horse entered, including Thousands Words if he goes, should push Authentic early, the Derby winner looks like a lock.
Place: Swiss Skydiver +1400
The Kenny McPeek trained daughter of Daredevil and Exo Gold was right there in the Kentucky Oaks. If not for the best performance of Shedaresthedevil’s life, Swiss Skydiver would have run by and won the Oaks. She’s a talented enough filly to win the Preakness. She should also be a length or two off Authentic. If the Derby winner isn’t at the top of his game on Saturday, she’s the likeliest winner. One advantage? She’s much smaller than the boys, which means her jockey should have no trouble getting her through traffic if it’s required.
Show: Art Collector +350
Trained by Thomas Drury Jr., Art Collector has enough speed to stay close to Authentic as well. He hasn’t raced against a field nearly as good as this yet, but he has won five races in a row. If he can stick with Authentic early, Art Collector may have a shot. The problem? We know Authentic will fight in the stretch. We also know Swiss Skydiver will give it her all. We’re not one-hundred percent positive Art Collector won’t give up if things get tough.
Fourth: Ny Traffic +1800
The second-place finisher in the Grade 1 Haskell Invitational over the summer was out of his element in the Kentucky Derby. Traffic runs most effectively when he’s near the lead. But Authentic got the first quarter at Churchill Downs in less than 23 seconds. It’s tough to go all in so early in a 1 ¼ mile race. The Preakness is at 1 3/16ths, though. So, whomever is on NYT’s back, the jockey should gun it from the outset to stay no more than a length behind Authentic. Claim a $1000 Deposit Bonus at MyBookie (Promo Code: THEMAC)
The 2020 Kentucky Oaks: My thoughts and long shot picks
I believe the Oaks is the Derby weekend's race to watch. With the Kentucky Derby you really have one horse who outshines the rest, but the Oaks is a different story. In the Oaks, we have 2 fillies that may turn out to be the greatest of all time: Swiss Skydiver and Gamine. East coast meets West Coast, a filly who went against the boys and almost won, and an undefeated filly whose speed stats are among the highest in the country. Their rivalry is much like the Rivalry between Rachel Alexandra and Zenyatta. So who is it going to be? Both fillies have very similar speed stats, class stats and pace stats. But with all that considered I am going to put my money on Swiss Skydiver. She can go the distance, has proven herself in multiple graded stakes territory, and went up against Art Collector and almost won. Gamine is a beast, but was her competition as tough as Swiss'? I think Swiss has faced bigger challenges and proved herself. She is more experienced, has raced at Churchill before, and can handle that inside post without issue. She is the horse to bet on. The Oaks field also has some other pretty impressive contenders. Speech is a G1 winner and came in 2nd in the Santa Anita Oaks (Swiss placed 1st), and has shown some serious improvement in a short time. Shedaresthedevil knows CD territory, and in fact seems to favor it. 2/3 of her career wins were at Churchill. She also beat fellow contender, Bayerness, in the G3 Indiana Oaks at Indiana Grand. Donna Veloce also deserves a look. She came in 2nd in the Breeders Cup Juvenile Fillies, which was her 2nd race in her career. However, she is coming back from a significant layoff. Her most recent race was back in March in the Santa Ysabel Stakes at Santa Anita, where she finished in first. So will the Oaks be a match race between the best or will an upset happen?
Find all the Lines You Can Bet On at BUSR.com Online Sportsbook
BUSR is the top online sports betting destination in the world created to cater all type of bettors. From seasoned pros to newbies, the online sportsbook, racebook and casino offers something for everybody regardless of their experience or bankroll. As a fully licensed online betting site, we provide customers a qualified and professional service complete with betting odds and lines on all major leagues around the world.
What Sports Can I Bet at BUSR?
BUSR offers betting fans a wide range of odds for major sports including football betting, live NFL odds, in-play betting, MLB, NHL, NBA, and a easy to use mobile betting platform available anytime and anywhere. No other online betting site comes close to offering the amount of unique prop betting and future wagering opportunities as BUSR. So whether it’s March Madness or the Super Bowl, the Triple Crown or the Breeders Cup, you can always get a piece of the action, and the best part is that you can do it anytime and anywhere with BUSR’s Mobile betting platform.
Take Advantage of BUSR Betting Bonuses and Rewards
On top of betting on your favorite teams and sports, BUSR online sportsbook offers players a series of generous welcome bonuses and rewards. Get a Sports New Member Bonus up to $1,250 when depositing with any cryptocurrency with your first deposit. All you need to do is sign up today for free and in less than five minutes you’ll be ready to start betting and winning. So what are you waiting for? Join Now -Here
50% Casino Cash Back Special
Every Thursday at the Casino is special at BUSR because you get 50% Cash returned to your account for any losses*! That’s right, you will get 50% Cash Back to your account for any losses on Thursday in the Casino. Play Thursday and get Casino Cash back the next day!
Terms and Conditions
50% Casino Cash Back is for LOSSES in the CASINO, only.
Live Dealer Casino action is NOT counted for 50% Casino Cash Back promotion.
Casino losses are counted for THURSDAY between the hours of 00:00AM to 23:59PM Eastern Time.
Maximum of $100 is returned to the member’s account.
Example: If you lost a total of $150 in the casino on Thursday, you will get $75 (i.e., 50% of $150) added to your account the following day.
Members’ accounts will be credited on FRIDAY by 11AM Eastern Time. If you do not see your credit by this time, please email or call us.
There is a 40x rollover required on Casino Cash Back before withdrawal. That is, you must wager your casino cashback bonus funds forty times within the casino.
Games which will not count towards wagering rollover requirements are Craps, all variations of Roulette, Baccarat & Pai Gow.
Management reserves the right to modify or cancel this promotion at any time. General House rules/terms and conditions apply.
Hollyberry The Christmas Fluffy, part 2 (Story by Gardel and Wangew_Wick)
“SCREEEEEE! Bad upsies! Nu wike!” -yelled the mare “We’ll send that one to Debbie. She’ll make a good size breeder.” “Sure thing, Marcus. Whaddya think—that red one ready to go, too?” “Nu take fwend ‘way! Nee fwend fow huggies!” The red fluffy reached out desperately for his friend, and she reached back, but she was soon too far away. Marcus picked the red gelding up by his mane, causing him to SCREEEEEEE. “Yeah, I’d say he’s big enough. Into the cart ya go, buddy!” The earthie plopped down onto dozens of crying fluffies. He had no idea why he was in the cart, but the sheer panic that enveloped the rest of the creatures soon caused him to start scrambling for an escape. “Whewe fwuffies goin’? Pwease wet fwuffies gu!” Marcus stared straight ahead as he pushed the cart through a pair of double doors. “Let you go? Now why would I do that? Besides, now comes the fun part.” “What am ‘fun pawt’, mistah?” “Weeeeeell,” the man started, before pushing through a final set of doors. Then, he started singing an oft-repeated song, to the tune of “Howdy Doody”. “Forever sleepy time!Forever sleepy time!This is where you’ll becomewhat people like to num!” There was more to the song than this, but all of the fluffies had started screaming and wailing at the mere mention of “forever sleepies” and becoming “nummies”, so they missed out on the rest. Standing near the beginning of the assembly line was a middle aged woman with her hands on her hips and an expression of disdain on her face. “For fuck’s sake, Marcus. You know that just makes ‘em squeal louder.” “Lighten up, Karen,” the man replied. “Ya gotta have a little fun with ‘em. That’s what they were made for, right?” The woman rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Just help me get ‘em hung up and then get yer knife ready.” “Yes, ma’am.” Karen McNeely was a master of her craft. Years of experience at dressing out all the deer she and her brothers took during deer season served her well at Savory Hills, and she could skin five fluffies in the time it took her predecessor to do one. The red gelding was one of the first to hang. Marcus stuck a hook through each of his back hooves and suspended him upside down. Blood trickled down his back legs towards his torso. “SCREEEEEEEEE! Huwtie-upsies! Nu wike! Nu wike! SCREEEEEEEEE!” “Bwudda? Am dat’choo?” The gelding choked back a sob and turned his head. Sure enough, hanging next to him, was his sister. The two fluffies hadn’t seen each other since the day they were separated into different finishing pens. “Sissie! Gif huggies, pwease! Fwuffy haf huwties!” “Huu huuu” the pink mare sobbed. “Nu can! Fwuffy haf wowsest huwties, tuu! Meanie fingies nu wet fwuffy gif huggies!” The siblings sobbed and wailed, suspended in the air and unable to reach each other. More and more fluffies joined in the cacophony as they were hooked to the apparatus. Then, somehow, the screams started getting louder. “SCREEEEEEEEE!” “Wai take pwetty fwuff? SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!” “SCREEEEEEEEEEE! Wowsest huwties!” The gelding watched in horror as the woman with the knife approached his sister. She looked at the woman sadly and begged her to “nu gif huwties”, but the woman continued her grisly work as if she were deaf to the fluffy’s pleas. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” “Nuuuuuuuuu! Nu huwt sissie!” the red earthie screamed. “Fwuffy nee’ fwuff! Nu gif huwties an take pwetty fwuff!” “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” And in the blink of an eye, the mare’s bright pink fluff was gone. The monster-human had made his sister look…well…like a monster herself! But he knew his sister wasn’t a monster, so he reached out to give her huggies to make the hurties go away, but before he knew it, the knife had reached his own chest. *slit**slit\* “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SCREEEEEEEEEEE!” The gelding arched his back in a rictus of pain. But no words escaped his lips now. all he could do was scream his lungs out and hope the hurties would be over soon. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SCREEEEEEEEEEE!” “Huuuuuu…nu am pwetty mawe nu mowe! Am dummeh munstah nu-fwuff fwuffy! MUMMAAAAAAAH!!!” his sister wailed. He turned to face her. He couldn’t give her huggies, but maybe he could say something to comfort her—that she wasn’t a monster, or that she was still a pretty mare… *chirp* But it was too late. By the time the meanie-human who had promised them forever sleepies cut his sister’s tummy open and ripped out her tummy-sketties, he had lost his ability to speak. *chirp**chirp* The man came for him next. He could no longer plead for “no more hurties”, as if his begging would have received a response, anyway. He merely kept chirping as he saw his guts fall down past his face. The man cut off his digestive system and threw it in a bin, where all the butchered fluffies’ internal organs would be kept until a local fish bait company picked them up to make stinkbait for catfish. Tears stung the gelding’s flayed face, and he chirped weakly and continued to stretch out feebly for his sister. She looked at him helplessly, and then reached out for huggies. The last thing either of them knew was the bitter cold of the flash freezer, where they died and were shrink-wrapped for storage. _________________________________________________________________ The brown stallion knew his day had come. This was the day he would make lots of tummy-babies for pretty mares, and that maybe…just maybe…he would finally meet his special friend and they would live happily ever after. He was so excited that he almost forgot to eat his nummies. Then, he got tummy hurties so bad that he scarfed down his food in three bites. He was the biggest stallion the factory had ever raised for breeding, and needed lots and lots to eat to avoid hunger pains. Soon after he ate, the nice lady came by to take him from his cage. He wagged his tail happily and started singing. A bop on the nose brought an end to the latter. “Wai put fwuffy on cowd fwoow, nice wady? Nu wike!” “Hmmm…6.12 kilos…this is a big boy!” “Yus, nice wady! Am big fwuffy stawwion! Wan gif mawes wotsa tummeh-babbehs nao! Wan fin’ speshuw-fwend!” “Mmmhmmm…” the woman acknowledged, not really paying attention to what the fluffy had said. She continued to scribble on her notepad, and the stallion could barely stay still. “Gon haf speshuw-fwend, an wotsa babbehs, an safewoom, an toysies, an sketties, an wotsa babbehs…” The breeding specialist then picked him up and placed him in an upright harness. Once he was strapped in, he could look down and see his no-no stick throbbing in anticipation. “Wai am fwuffy in bad huggies-fing? Whewe am da mawes dat wan babbehs?” The stallion looked on with horror as the human affixed a device shaped like a Champagne flute around his no-no stick. Then, she flipped a switch and an unsettling sound filled the room. *brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck\* “Huuuuuu…nu wan bad speshuw-huggies! Nu wike! Huu huu…” *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck\* Before long, the stallion felt his no-no stick acting like it enjoyed the bad special huggies! But he was so afraid—this wasn’t a pretty mare! This wasn’t supposed to be happening! “Pwease wet fwuffy gu, nice wady! Jus’ wan pwetty mawes, an speshuw-fwend, an babbehs, an pwetty safewoom, an…ENF!” Nu…nu wan… *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck\* “…enf…enf…enf…” His whole body was strapped against the harness, so he couldn’t thrust his hips. All the same, he could see white fluid traveling through the tube from his no-no stick to a clear container. Nu! Nu-nu juice, come back! Nee’ fow pwetty mawes! *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck\* “…enf…enf…enf…” The machine continued its work for many forevers, until finally *POP* “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!” “Ah, SHIT! I was hoping to get lucky this time!” The “stallion milker”, as factory employees lovingly called the machine to which the brown stallion was connected, was capable of pulling every last drop of semen out of a fluffy’s genitals. There was enough semen in one fluffy pony to impregnate fifty mares, which was quite enough to tolerate the machine’s one major drawback: the powerful suction had a habit of making the stallion’s penis explode. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Huu huu…pwease nice wady, hewp fwuffy! Fwuffy nu-nu-stick haf wowsest huwties!” Debbie hurriedly shut off the machine and cut off the flow to the semen receptacle—she couldn’t risk having it contaminated with blood. Then she removed the container, labeled it, and took it out of the room to the cold storage refrigerator with all of the rest of the stallion samples. All the while, the brown earthie hung from his harness, screaming and staring at the mutilated remains of his genitals. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Once the breeding specialist was done recording her work, she unhooked the stallion from the machine. The tube and cup were disposable after every use, so she tossed them in the nearby trash can and then grabbed the pony off the wall. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE! SCREEEEE—mmmf!” “Can’t have you distressing the mares,” Debbie said. “Now, where’s my damn bucket?” The stallion, now freed from confinement and safely in a black bucket, tried to give huggies to his obliterated member. As his leggies were too short to do so, he whined uncontrollably (though the rubber band the factory employee put around it did a pretty good job). Soon, he could tell that he was moving. The room through which Debbie carried him looked familiar. Rows and rows of cages lined the aisles, and he thought that one fat, red dam in particular was one he had seen before. Mummah? Dat am mummah? “Mmmmf! Mmmmmmf!” But his mummah couldn’t hear him. Not only was his mouth shut tightly, but the dam, who was heavy with foals again, was turned with her head facing away from him. Not even she would save him from his gruesome fate. “Mmmmf! Mmmmmmf!” Debbie threw open the dumpster door and gagged immediately. Clearly, the disposal company was late for another pickup. She quickly dumped the contents of her bucket down the chute and slammed the door closed. The stallion tumbled down into darkness, acutely feeling the pain in his ruined no-no stick with every bump along the way. Eventually he came to a halt atop something soft. It felt…familiar. It was almost comfortable. When his eyes adjusted to the dim light that came through a crack in the wall, he screamed so loudly that the rubber band around his jaws came off. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE! Nu wan foweva sweepies!” He scrambled around, finding nothing but more dead and dying fluffies underneath him. They appeared in varying states of decomposition. One foal, who looked as though half of his face had been chewed off, scared the stallion so badly that he tumbled backwards, bending his back at an odd angle. *crack\* “SCREEEEEEE!” His back leggies could no longer move. He slumped down in despair, hoping against hope that it was all just a bad dream. Then, a chirping in the darkness got his attention. *chirp* *chirp* The stallion turned his head to see a tiny foal with a horn crawling up the bodies next to him. He couldn’t remember having ever seen a unicorn before. “Babbeh…nu can sabe pointie-babbeh…fwuffy weggies am meanie, an nu wan wowk!” The little foal, whose eyes were not yet open, responded only with a chirp. It moved closer to the stallion, sensing that the voice was friendly. *chirp* *chirp* “Nu cwy, babbeh! Fwuffy wuv nyu fwend!” The unicorn foal, who had the blessing of his first milkies before being stripped from his mother and cast into this horrible place, continued to chirp. The brown earthie knew he had to do something. He looked at the crack in the dumpster with resolve. “Fwuffy am take foweva sweepies soon, bu babbeh nu haf tu! Fwuffy am hewp babbeh wun ‘way!” He grabbed the chirping foal with his teeth and placed her on his back. As everything behind his front leggies was paralyzed, every movement was a struggle, but the stallion was determined to give his best. He pawed at the wall with his scarred front hooves, hoping to rise high enough for the foal to escape. *chirp* *chirp* “Yus, babbeh! When fwuffy come tu da bwite-pwace, ‘oo wun ‘way. Unnastand?” *chirp* The fluffy inched higher and higher, with each painful motion getting closer and closer to freedom. The foal was mere inches away from the light when the stallion’s useless legs gave way, and the filly fell back down onto the corpses. She landed straight on her horn. “Babbeh! Nuuuuuuuuuu!” The little unicorn twitched. There would be no second attempt. Even if the stallion had strength enough to reach up the wall again, the foal was in no condition to squeeze through the hole. The hole, in fact, was too small in the first place. The brown stallion wailed as he watched the filly expire. Shw became one of a hundred dead, nameless fluffies that day. The spent breeder was not so fortunate—he lingered for days before the dumpster was finally taken to the incinerator. _________________________________________________________________ “Nuuuuuu! Nu weave Howwybewwy, mummah! Howwybewwy wuv ‘oo!” “You love me? You bit me, stupid! I hope you never have babies again…ever!” “Huu huu…Howwybewwy nu mean be meanies! Jus’ wan babbehs! Babbehs am bestes’ fing evah!” “Oh yeah? Well, you know what? Daddy told me that a snake’s gonna eat all your babies. I’ll bet they’re all dead now! And I hope you die, too, you selfish meanie!” “Sweetie, that’s enough. Let’s go home.” Emma stuck her tongue out as she and her father left where Hollyberry had been put in her shelter cage. The red dam pawed at the door with her soft, marshmallow hooves, as if she could reach out and pull the little girl back. “Mummah! Come back mummah! If babbehs am foweva sweepies, den mummah am aww dat Howwybewwy haf! Nu weave, mummah! MUMMAAAAAAAH!” _________________________________________________________________ Hollyberry awakened from her nightmare unable to move. She was once again so big with foals that her legs did not touch the ground. This had happened so many times that she had large patches of fluff missing from her belly that would not grow back. "Mummah…Howwybewwy am su sowwy. Nu wan mowe babbehs. Jus wan mummah back! " A tear rolled down her cheek, and then dripped down between the wire that made up the bottom of her cage. It landed with a *splat\* on the shit-covered floor. Her stomach burbled. She knew it wasn’t because she was hungry. And she had made poopies before she slept, so it shouldn’t be that, either. *burble\* "Nu. Pwease, nu." *blrrrrrrt\* "Nu wan mowe babbehs. Pwease, nu be mowe babbehs." An old, familiar pressure built in the mare that she had felt so many times before. With it came a pain that enveloped her whole body. “SCREEEEEEEEE! BIGGEST POOPIES!”
I'm a new DM and I'm starting a campaign soon where they start in drumroll a tavern. Since my players are also new to the game itself, I want the tavern to be already fleshed out and lively to set the tone for the game, as well as get them used to making skill checks and whatnot. A general description of the games mechanics would be very much appreciated as well! I'd also like to use all the stats so the players can get a handle of what they're good at.
Spicy Hotdog Eating Competition. Five rounds of contested CON saves between competitors.
Dragon's Den (Card Game). Starting bet of 2 gp, roll 5d6, and add 5 sp to the pot for every reroll. Winner is determined by the second roll.
Drunkard's Roulette. Roll a d6. On a 1, you drink a tankard of something nasty. Make a CON save or become poisoned for 1d4 hours.
Ball and Cup Game. Contested Perception vs Sleight of Hand.
Trivia Night. Contested INT-based skill checks. Consider giving advantage if its about something the players have encountered before.
Arm-wrestling Contest. Contested STR checks.
Axe-throwing competition. DEX check. 3 tries/game. 1- 10 miss. 11 - 13 outer ring (1 point). 14 - 16 middle ring (2 points). 17 - 19 inner ring (3 points). 20 and above bullseye (5 points)
Boulder, Parchment, Shears. Each roll a d4. 1 beats 3, 3 beats 2, 2 beats 1, and 4 is a reroll.
Barrel Breaking Contest. Crush a barrel between your bare hands like a beer can. Five rounds and DC goes up each round. STR check.
The Riddle Master. An old man charges 1 sp per riddle, and offers 3 sp in return for a correct answer. He will only ask each person a single riddle and only pays out 2 sp if a person gets help in solving it. (idek_mannnn)
Good Old-fashioned Darts. Players roll 3d20 with DEX modifier (capped at a maximum roll of 20). and results are tallied. Highest score wins. In the event of a tie, each player is to throw a single dart blindfolded (d20 with no modifier). Highest wins. (idek_mannnn)
Busy Night. The tavern is bustling with patrons and the barkeep is visibly stressed. In a moment of desperation, they ask if anyone is able to assist in serving drinks, collecting tankards and flagons, and helping out in the kitchen. 1 gp for the night's work, but any player who accepts suffers a level of exhaustion. (idek_mannnn)
Mingling. CHA DC 15 or higher and someone will buy you a drink. WIS DC 15 or higher and you hear an interesting rumor. (idek_mannnn)
Open Stage Night. For a mere donation of 5 cp, anyone can perform an act on the tavern stage. The outcome of a Performance check can affect the reputation of the performer in the tavern, or even in the whole town on either end of the scale. (idek_mannnn)
Good Old-fashioned Tavern Brawl. No deadly damage allowed. Last man/party standing wins. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
A Sophisticated Session of Chess (or any tactical game). Contested INT or Knowledge checks.(Geschichtenerzaehler)
Stuff Stacking Challenge. Try to stack random objects on the head of a passed-out drunk. Sleight of Hand check starts at DC 5, increasing by 1 for each item. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Song Contest. Contested Performance checks, but the GM secretly writes down themes and modifiers to reflect the mood of the crowd ( ex: happy +2, sad -2, patriotic +1, naughty +5, epic +0). The participating players must announce what song they want to perform and the GM adds the modifier to the result. Smart players may want to make an Insight check to read the crowd before picking a song. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Halfling Toss. DC 12 STR check to lift the halfling, and every 1 above that is a foot of distance. Furthest distance wins. The area ahead is cushioned (as is the the halfling), but if they make a really high check, they may be able to get past the cushioned area. If anyone asks if this s inhumane, the answer should involve 'the event is sanctioned by the National Halfling Toss League'. (thirteeorphans)
Flirting. Characters can look for intimate company. First, the player describes what kind of person they're looking for. Next, the GM determines if someone with said profile is present, but also rolls if the PC has any chance with them at all. If not, all Persuasion checks will auto-fail. If they do have a chance with the NPC, the GM decides a difficulty and a number of secret modifiers regarding the worldview, mood, and preferences of the NPC. The player then tells the GM their flirting strategy and makes a persuasion check to which the GM adds all modifiers that apply. Multiple Persuasion checks may be needed to take things...further. Alternatively: if you all have fun with it, just wing and roleplay it. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Join the Regulars. A table is reserved for frequent patrons. They discuss certain topics or just have some things in common - sports teams, activism, crafts, etc. Examples: a)A group of elderly men and women, who all happen to be veterans. They share a common experience (a war a long time ago), but talk about all sorts of things. They may share some wisdom with strangers who buy them a round. b)The Rabbit Breeder table. These guys discuss everything about rabbits: best food, how to keep them away from foxes, upcoming contests, and etc. Characters may feign interest (CHA checks) and pick up some juicy gossip beyond rabbit-business. c)The Councilors. This table is usually reserved for the mayor, councilors, and guildmasters. News and politics are discussed here. A character with respectable appearance, manners, and a convincing reason to join them (Persuasion check w/ appropriate modifiers) may join. Being seated at this table may be useful to gather pertinent information or get to know important people. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Avoiding "Dangers". On a wild night, one may be in danger of slipping on a spilled drink (DC 8) or ducking under a thrown keg (DC 12). Acrobatics check. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Dance-off!. Participants must make a series of skill or ability checks (let them RP which ones make sense for their character, but make it a different one each round) with one or two participants eliminated each round. (ken_NT)
2-4-24 (Dice Game). Played with 6d6. A player rolls the dice and has to keep at least one die every roll. At the end, they must have a 2, a 4, and the remaining dice must add up to a max. of 24. Not having a 2 or a 4 disqualifies the player. More Info#Variant_game) (ken_NT)
Listen to a story. Occasionally a patron may feel like sharing an anecdote, a joke, a creepy legend etc. Example: An old sailor tells how he lost his leg in a fight against an undead pirate. An insight check may provide some information about the truthfulness of the story told. Besides this, an NPC telling a story at the bar allows the GM to set the mood for an adventure, to establish background info on the game world and adding flavor. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Checking the Bulletin board. The tavern may feature a bulletin board, which has job offers and requests, lost and found notes, public announcements, etc. Even (side-)quests are an option, if the GM wants to. Sidenote: An illiterate NPC may ask a PC to read them the job offers. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Trying the 'good stuff'. Characters with enough coin may want to taste the best or most interesting the house has to offer. Examples: a)A great local brew, that gives the one who consumes it, +1 temporary hitpoints. b)A greenish drink called the "Mad Alchemist". Sends the drinker on a trip where he perceives the world in exaggerated shapes and colors. c)The "Victory Bottle". This high quality whisky was bottled in the year of the glorious victory ... . A super pricey treat for special occasions. The GM may rule (depending on a CON save), that the PCs experience positive or negative side effects.
Eating a special meal. There may be something interesting (and pricey) beyond the usual on the menu tonight. Examples: a) A hunter has brought in something rare or unusual. b) The house has a secret recipe, that tastes extraordinarily well. c) An exotic dish made from insects. A real dare. The GM may rule (depending on a CON save), that the PCs experience positive or negative side effects. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Buy from a peddler. A poor looking man, woman or child walks from table to table with a vendor's tray, to sell small cheap goods to patrons. Examples: Flowers, pouches, dice, socks, caps, leather grease (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Take up a service offer. Similar to above, a poor looking man, woman or child walks from table to table, but in this case makes a service offer, like polishing shoes and boots, sharpening blades, making small repairs (via sewing) etc. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Inspect the trophies. The walls of the tavern may be decorated with hunting or sports or contest trophies. It tells the PCs something about what to expect in the wilderness or about the community. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Go outside. The PCs may decide to step outside for a moment. Here they might go to the loo, encounter drug dealers, couples making out, a fight, prostitutes or just people who want to take a little fresh air before heading back in. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Explore the Backroom. This area is usually off limits, but sneaking in there might be possible (Stealth vs. Perception of whoever watches the door). Secret societies, criminals meeting, illegal games and deals? Or just people who want some privacy? Maybe it's just a boring storage room? The GM is free to decide whatever interesting or not so interesting thing might happen there. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Debate. Some NPC may start a debate on basically any topic and the PCs are free to join in and share their opinion. This shouldn't end in something as dramatic as a brawl, but it can win over NPCs, hurt feelings, establish standpoints, relationships or rivalries. It's basically an attempt to incite roleplay and create future opportunities for the GM to pick up. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Explore the basement. Besides the classical "slay the rats down there"-quest, the tavern basement may have an interesting encounter or feature that ties in with the world's lore or a future plot. Examples: a) The winecellar is haunted. A ghost scares the bar maids and the PCs have to find out how to put it to rest. b) The basement is older than the tavern and features a clue to a long forgotten cult on a wall behind a barrel c) There is a secret passage to another building in the city. d) Some kind of vermin or aggressive animal or non-intelligent monster has gotten in. XP for brave adventurers. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Take in the scene. A careful observer might just learn something about the people and the place sitting back quietly and watching his or her surroundings. Examples: a) A table falls quiet as a patrol of the guard enters for a routine visit. b) A rich merchant who wears a wedding rings, shows more than just a little interest in a certain barmaid. c) Igrim, a young server is definitly distracted or worried by something. He's been making a lot of mistakes this evening. d) Two women acknowledged each others presence shortly, but avoided eye contact ever since. Perception or Insight checks, DC by GM's decision. (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Cooking Contest. Unhappy with the food? Think you can do better? Challenge the tavern's cook to a contest! Contesting skill checks ("profession cook" or whatever it is in your edition). (Geschichtenerzaehler)
Singing Wine Glasses. A tavernmaid was finishing up washing some wine glasses and was making them sing by sliding a wet finger along the rim and using different glasses filled at various levels to make different tunes. She is more than willing to say that her brother used to make songs with wine glasses, but he’s been adventuring for a while and she’d give anything just to recreate that familial feeling again. She describes different types of feelings that the songs elicited and asks the players what type of song they will try to play., where different moods will correspond to different skill checks : a)Sad - Deception, b)Happy - Performance, c)Love - Persuasion, and d)Creepy - Intimidation. DC 15 for a trinket that belonged to the brother who we learn is actually deceased. (Diamondwolf)
Tankard Pong. Played exactly like beer pong. Make DEX checks starting at DC 10 working up as tankards are removed from the playfield. PCs must also make CON saves with an increasing DC as they drink to not get drunk.
Tall Tales or Piss Taking. You have to give a very impossibly possible story where you did something to a collection of bullshitters. If someone calls you out, you must defend your plotline with another point whether factual or bullshit. (Th3R3493r)
Card Stab. A sacrificial set of cards and knife for each player are needed and all players must have blood in their hand. The point of the game is to stab into cards as they rest on a hand and take the most amount of cards without stabbing through all of them and drawing your own blood. The one with the most speared cards on the knife without blood on the tip wins. (Th3R3493r)
Coin Bounce. There are three forms of the game for each type of coin. The price of competing is coin you bounce. The coin must bounced into a mug of water and a straight shot will mean you forfeit the match. The first one to get the coin in wins unless the other side manages to double bounce the coin in on their next throw. Double bouncing the coin on the first try means the other side has already lost. (Th3R3493r)
Screaming Match. Just as it is advertised. The one who screams the loudest wins. The word or sound does not matter. So, far the loudest thing yelled was "QUIET!!!" by a elderly school teacher who came in for a pint and was heard in places over a country over who unknowingly won. (Th3R3493r)
Slap. Both sides just slap the other side once as hard as possible until they yield or pass out. Claw use and punching is outlawed and as long as they stand and can get up in a slow count of 5, they are still in. (Th3R3493r)
Skee-ball. 3 gp to play, 3 balls. DEX check. Up to you to decide DC, but outer ring gets you 5 sp, inner ring gets you 1 gp, center gets you 2 gp.
A Magician. An old wizard is using illusions to preform tricks to entertain the crowd. (Nerdypie12345)
Sack Toss. Same rules as sack toss, players toss a sack into a ramp with a hole some distance away. Players may choose to compete in pairs or alone. DC 10 STR check to lift the sack and throw it, but DEX check to aim for the hole. Allows for fun scenarios where a high STR check but a low DEX, like missing the hole completely and throwing a hole through the tavern wall, or hitting an important NPC as a way of meeting them.
Biden: You're a breeder of hate. You can't debate against this great. Like you dealing with Covid, your defeat comes from wait...ing. Er...I mean I'll have the last laugh. I may make gaffes But, look at the graphs! Clearly, the people, they want to have "Normal" back. I won't make Clinton's slips, I'm appealing to the masses At least you can keep looking at Melania and Ivanka's asses I saw you hunting Hunter, I bet it was a pain Making another country get involved. Who was it...Ukraine? You're slipping up Don, I should list down...uh you know, the things. Putin, Nazis, Riots, and having the South rising. It was never my fault for the recession of 2008 I may've been second fiddle, but now here's the main stage Your own party hates you, and we know they need a fix I truly hope they recover after President 46 BLM has changed this country so now their vote is mine Republicans time is up, much like the rate of crime Your replacement for Ginsburg whose a nobody from your side Is nothing but a racist giving our country a bigger divide Trump: Verse 1: You have to speak clearly, Joe, cause I couldn't hear a peep Why not try to repeat all that when you are not asleep?! In the 8 years under Obama, he was your Ba-rock! Now there's no news of him backing you. Isn't that a shock? Sanders is an enemy, but you seem to know more of chickening out He will get no more financial support with what was his thickening clout Bumbling Biden sniffing hair? What the hell? Deciding to keep that in the family as well? Is your username on Pornhub in resemblance to Corn Pop? No one wants to see all that nasty incest porn, Stop! No matter what your fake numbers have brought you to believe You are the ideal type of target for the domestic terrorist blitzkrieg This country's economy is back on top with a big boom You can't control yourself when there's a shit ton of hair in the room The People may gossip I have a toupee Sniiffing my hair will just make you look gay Unlike Mandalorian, this is no way To win my position on Election Day! Biden: Hey! Now I don't take kindly to your wild accusations! But what about the Russian bots that got you to your current occupation?! Here's an idea that you've been suggesting If you want to lose less we should just stop testing! With the occupied zones in famous blue states Who made you the decider of the American People's fates? Also what about the missiles you sent into Syria? I hope that when you pass on the Ayatollah will be viewing ya Can someone boot up the teleprompter I forgot my next verse Come on! Any delay in this battle will make me look worse! Ah, there we go, now back to waht I was saying I have the hearts of the people bowing down and praying That you, Donald, are ousted this very November Which will be a day that is truly long remembered But false are these rumors of my mind about to go Now let's continue this pivotal political shi-, Oh, I'm sorry. Trump: Biden, you're spineless, you lack any true grit. You are the least likely to come up with some trending new shit. The Leftists possess your body, like you're a meat puppet. If you get to the office they'll replace you with a fuckwit Whether it be your excuse for a VP with her double standard philosophy 'Cause she hates guns but has armed guards, an example of hypocrisy Or hell, maybe Sanders, cause he'll "redistribute" liberally Cause you're in complete denial about your mind, like Crooked Hillary You change the subject with every question in our 2 on 1 debate Why don't you just shut up, man, while I Keep America Great Of all the things that you forget is I was once like you Before I ran for office, my alliance used to be blue The definition of normal escaped your mind years ago No one in their "right" mind would want this morning's cup of "Joe" The demise of this great country will be on the horizon If the American people vote for the Sleeper known as Biden WHO WON????? WHO'S NEXT??? YOU DECIDE!!!!!
The upcoming week of racing is a crucial one for owners of horses seeking an automatic berth in the Breeders’ Cup World Championships a little more than four weeks from now, as the final six Challenge Series "Win and You're In" preps will be held, each race granting the winner an automatic, fees-paid berth to the 37th World Championships at Keeneland Race Course on Nov. 6-7. Breeders’ Cup Betting. Breeders’ Cup expert picks can be found online close to the main event. Breeders’ Cup fields and odds will be posted 72 hours before each event. Breeders’ Cup morning line odds are available shortly before the post position draws on Tuesday, November 3, and Wednesday, October 4. After her short-neck victory at 7-2 odds in the Opéra, Tarnawa could become the first Breeders’ Cup winner since 2000 for the legendary racing operation of The Aga Khan. “The Breeders’ Cup is a couple days later this year, which is a big help,” said Mark Weld, the son and assistant of Tarnawa’s trainer, Dermot Weld. “It would be nice. Breeders’ Cup Betting Strategies. Across the first two days of November 2019 we will witness the 36th Breeders’ Cup World Championships at Santa Anita Park, a venue now synonymous with Breeders' Cup betting. The 2020 Breeders’ Cup Betting Challenge is a “real money” handicapping challenge. Players will be required to deposit $10,000, of which $7,500 will be the players’ bankroll for wagering during the Tournament. Where To Play. Gulfstream Park (Satellite Site), Monmouth Park (Satellite Site), or online at TVG or Xpressbet. Format
Night School: Betting the Breeders' Cup (Season 9, Episode 20)
Jimmy the Bag did his homework, stayed up late and he is here with his expert betting tips for the 2018 Breeders' Cup. Here, he looks at the Filly and Mare Sprint, Turf Sprint, Dirt Mile, Filly ... Charlie McCann from Stan James previews The Breeders Cup Classic and Emirates Airline Breeders Cup Turf races which are held at Santa Anita on 7th November 2009. Rip Van Winkle is the favourite ... Thoroughbred Handicapper Jarrod Horak previews the Breeders' Cup Saturday races from Santa Anita Park for https://www.todaysracingdigest.com/. The BC Saturda... This week, we have a few special guests join us as we speak about our strategies when it comes to betting the Breeders' Cup. We also discuss some favorites we're against at this stage, along with ... 2014 Breeders’ Cup Betting Challenge Finale (including Kenny Mayne!) (VIDEO) - Duration: 4:06. HorseRacingNation 1,409 views. 4:06.