Maha: Three booked for betting on IPL matches in Palghar ...

Debunking some more Star Wars wank

You know who I hate? People who talk about Star Wars on the internet.
For some reason the way Star Wars fans phrase their posts just fucking bugs me. They type like it's a college thesis, like they're a Star Wars intellectual, like people will think they're cool for their deep knowledge on the EU lore. I see this everywhere, in WhoWouldWin threads, in the comments of posts on here, even in the comments of my Star Wars RTs. There's always those one or two people who draft up a fucking essay, and the worst part is they always get their facts wrong while still speaking with that trademark air of false authority. They either mix canon and Legends or just use fan theory bullshit. God, I just hate people who talk about Star Wars on the internet so fucking much.
Anyways, time to talk about Star Wars on the internet. I finally got done with this: the sequel to my last post about Legends wank. If you're wondering about what "Legends" is or why I hate Legends wank so much, just read that last post, it covers it all in the intro.
Last post I focused on Palpatine, but this post doesn't really have any theme, still focusing on Dark Side stuff though. Speaking of my last post, I've actually updated it with new material, so go read it again if you want. I reference it a bit in here so you might want to do that to get context.
Before getting into things, I want to address some criticisms of the last post.
And that was the only criticism. Yeah, I guess that's a sign I did pretty well last time, because the Legends wank crowd just fixated on the one point I made that relied on WoG to ignore the entire thread instead of actually trying to come up with any actual rebuttals. Honestly I think it's a bit funny, cause I'm willing to bet my mother's life that if tomorrow George Lucas came out and said "mmm, every Legends Jedi is an MFTL multiverse buster," the same type of people who complain about using that piece of WoG would be tripping over each other to update the VSBW profiles first.
But okay, let's talk about WoG. If you don't know what WoG is, it stands for Word of God, and people use it to refer to something an author says about their story outside of the context of that story. Think of J.K. Rowling saying wizards shit on the floor and use magic to clean it up on Twitter. It wasn't in a book, but the author said it. That's what WoG is.
Personally, I think WoG should be judged on a case by case basis. This is how most battleboarders look at WoG, and I disagree with this mindset, I accept it more based on who's saying it and how much sense it makes with the presented material. I stand by using Tom Veitch's statements about Force Storms in my last post and still find them completely 100% legitimate, since he's the sole author of the Dark Empire story and his statements make the story make more sense instead of less. He also said it was the intended explanation when the comic was being released. I do, however, understand some people's trepidation when it comes to accepting WoG, which is why I've included other points about Force Storms in the post to outline why, even if you toss out WoG, they're still not applicable in most combat scenarios and don't scale to his other Force abilities.
I learned my lesson though, and I won't be using any WoG in my Legends wank posts again. Not because I think using WoG is wrong to do, no, I just don't want the whole post to be ignored because of one point. So yeah, that's my piece on WoG, not gonna say any more about that. Onto the actual thread.

The Claim: Darth Nihilus is a surface wiper

When someone comments "Legends is crazy bro," they usually like to tack on a few examples of "crazy" Legends characters. Abeloth, Grandmaster Luke, the one Sith that was immortal, etcetera. Because of the Obi-Wan Death Battle, he's become a recent favorite for this - I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone say "Obi-Wan can open a black hole with his mind!" because of that garbage fucking video. But a perennial favorite of the "Legends is crazy bro" posters is Darth Nihilus, an intimidating black-cloaked villain from the Knights of the Old Republic series.
From the way people talk about this guy, you'd think he's the Legends version of Galactus, a guy who flies around the galaxy eating planets and shitting out supernovas. Of course, as with all Legends characters, he is drastically, drastically oversold.
Saying Nihilus "eats planets" is misleading. He doesn't suck up the entire mass of a planet into his mouth, he uses a special Force Drain technique to consume the Force energy of the population of a planet, which causes collateral damage for unspecified reasons. Though it's said/implied he's done this numerous times, we only see Nihilus actually do this once to a planet called Katarr, in a flashback scene in a comic. It's shown to cause widespread ruination and reduce people to skeletons.
This is a good feat, sure, but the calc people toss around for it has more inflation than DeviantArt. A Narutoforums calc claims that he's outputting 727.586 petatons here. Or, as Death Battle would put it, 54 TRILLION HIROSHIMAS.
Just look at the assumptions being made. It assumes that Katarr was obliterated to the point where it was a flat ball of dust and all the oceans were evaporated, based on the end of the comic where you can see it through the windows of Nihilus's ship and it's shown as a featureless ball. But this can be explained as the ship having moved further away from the planet to the point where you can't see any detail on it in the time between him wiping the planet and going down to pick up his disciple from the place. It's said to be days later in a text box, so for all we know he could've travelled to a completely different planet in that time. The comic obviously doesn't accurately draw Katarr to scale anyways, so it being depicted as a flat ball in the last pages is probably just artistic license anyways, if it's the same place.
If that wasn't enough, we actually see what the surface of the planet looks like after the wipe, and check it out - there's still some shattered buildings around, ruined trees, and what looks like a still-standing tower in the background. I don't think those would be there if all the mountains were reduced to atoms and all the oceans were evaporated as the calc claims. So the 727 petatons number can be safely chucked in the dumpster.
Look, I'm obviously not gonna say Nihilus can't surface wipe with his Force Drain. It's pretty explicit from the comic. But what I am gonna say is that nobody scales to it, his other powers don't scale to it, and it's also just kinda irrelevant.
Before I cover those though, I just have one last thing to talk about: there's actually a debate on whether or not Nihilus's Force Drain is the thing that causes the damage when he "eats" a planet.
It mostly comes from this one encyclopedia entry for him which says that he drew "more and more power from worlds that he blasted into ruin" while traveling on his special ship, the Ravager. So the "blasting" comes before the "drawing," or draining. Basically people use this to say that what Nihilus actually does is destroy the surface of planets with the Ravager's weaponry and then sucks the Force out from the people on it after.
It's interesting, and the comic can actually line up with this idea if you read it a certain way. Honestly, a draining ability causing random explosions is pretty weird if you ask me, and the bystanders we see during this explosion seen don't really look like they're getting their Force drained. The depiction of his draining power is also off, in the game we see it's an orange energy bolt. No random explosions, no creeping black shadow. So it's possible the destruction we see in the comic is thanks to the Ravager firing on the colony, and the Force Drain happened after off-panel.
So yeah, I see why people think this could line up. But there are, of course, things that contradict this. Visas, Nihilus's disciple and survivor of the attack says that the destruction of Katarr wasn't done with a ship and the KOTOR Campaign Guide conflicts with this too, since it said he wiped out the life on the planet "using the Force."
So yeah, it's probably not the ship blasting thing. Just wanted to clarify that, cause I knew people would ask. From here on out I'm going with the regular interpretation.

Nobody scales to it

Nihilus is routinely pointed out as being an absolute oddity among the Sith and Force users in general. He's not even a regular being: he's a "Dark Side aberration", he's been called a living wound in the Force. His souped-up Force Drain is pretty well defined as a unique ability to him thanks to his specific origin and biology, and tons of Sith Lords have unique powers of their own. So scaling other Force users to his feat isn't really something you should do. I don't even think Palpatine could replicate this: sure, he could replicate any other of Nihilus's feats based on statements, but I don't know why he could use his super special wound in the Force "Lord of Hunger" Force Drain power.
Saying that anyone who isn't a living wound in the Force powered by pure overwhelming hunger could replicate his special Dark Side hunger-fueled Force Drain just lacks any sort of sound basis and doesn't work either objectively or narratively.

His other powers don't scale to it

Sure, Nihilus can suck out people's Force energy on a planetary scale, but it's not like he can put that power behind a Force push or something. I think this is pretty obvious but I feel the need to point this out because of the "VSBW model of damage output scaling."
This is a term I just made up for that thing VSBW does, you know, that thing. A witch could have two spells - shooting fireballs and making a big storm in the sky. VSBW will take how many biggatons it takes to make the storm, then claim her fireballs hit with the same force, when the best feat for the witch's fireballs is one lightly singing cardboard. It makes no sense to me because the fireball and the storm are obviously two separate things, so conflating them makes little sense.
But of course, people will say "well, all his abilities are powered by the Force, so they should all be equivalent." Short answer, fuck off. Long answer, no, there's tons of Force users in Legends and canon that have like a specific "gimmick." Yarael Poof's gimmick in Legends is that he's good at illusions, as an example. Others are specifically talented at using the Force to make cold mist, or specifically talented at telepathy, or psychometry, or mind reading, or whatever.
It's very, very well established that people can be better with certain Force powers than others. And once again, Nihilus's whole gimmick is that he's got a super special Force Drain he can use to suck the Force energy out of people. He's literally called THE LORD OF HUNGER. So saying "yeah his super special Force Drain damages a planet's surface, so he can do that with a Force push" is fucking dumb.

Kinda irrelevant

So his other powers don't scale to his Force Drain, hope you get that by now. So, outside of being useful for sucking out another character's Force energy in battle - which is a powerful move, believe me - his Force Drain's range is pretty much irrelevant. Sure, it can work on a pretty massive scale, but that doesn't really matter if he's just fighting one person. I'm not saying Force Drain isn't a good power against other Star Wars characters, just that the scale of it doesn't matter when people generally just put characters in one-on-ones on WhoWouldWin-type sites.
It also doesn't matter if he's not fighting someone from the Star Wars universe, since logically they wouldn't have any Force in them for him to suck out. Yes, his Force Drain affects more than just Force users, but everyone in Star Wars has Force in them, even planets have Force in them - this is pretty consistent, they say this kinda stuff in the movies. So Nihilus's Force Drain is only really relevant when you match him up against another Star Wars character.
But people like to equate stuff like life energy or ki or Force or chakra or Reishi or souls or whatever in battleboarding just to make things fair, so I guess that point is up to personal interpretation / the rules someone lays out in a thread.

Verdict: Only with a Force power that no one else scales to, that's unique to him, that his other powers don't scale to, and that's mostly irrelevant in a standard WhoWouldWin scenario.

The Claim: Vitiate is a surface wiper

There have been plenty of online Star Wars games over the years, but Star Wars: The Old Republic is easily the most popular. The main threat, as I understand, is this evil Sith guy with like 20 different names: Tenebrae, Valkorion, the Sith Emperor, whatever. Most people just call him Vitiate, as will I in this post.
I don't really care for MMOs, so I never really got into SWTOR despite being a Star Wars fan. My only exposure to it has been through research for these Legends posts, and I have to say, it looks just as boring as any other MMO. I also just kinda hate every aspect of its design, but that's neither here nor there. This is a battleboarding post, and the big thing every "Legends is crazy bro" poster talks about from SWTOR is Vitiate's planet-wiping ritual.
Yep, it's a ritual. Yeah, that word alone makes things pretty open-and-shut. Force rituals don't really scale to other abilities or Force users for obvious reasons. This particular ritual really doesn't scale, cause it requires - wait for it - the death of eight thousand Sith Lords to pull off. Sure, it wiped out all life on the planet it was performed on, a place called Nathema, which yeah, that's impressive. It worked by sucking all the Force out of the planet, which made Vitiate immortal and much, much stronger in the Force than he already was. It's a good ritual, not challenging that. But eight thousand Sith Lords is definitely not something Vitiate has on hand at all times.
There's some other stuff I could mention about this Nathema ritual, like how it also took ten fucking days and required some kind of computer named Zildrog which killed all the Sith Lords or something, but I really don't have to. You see, nobody gives two shits about the Nathema ritual. That's right, I just wasted your fucking time talking about it.
Here's the answer you'll get if you say "Vitiate's stuff is rituals" to your average Star Wars battleboarder.
While yes, the ritual on Nathema required the sacrifice of thousands, his later feat on the planet Ziost was done completely with his own power and was NOT a ritual. So, in summary, Darth Vader could TOTALLY blow up a planet bro!
So, let's talk about the Ziost wipe. The Ziost wipe, despite what people may claim, is still pretty obviously a ritual. Let's first explain the situation, I'm gonna be doing this in bullet points.
Yeah, the argument people use here is that Vitiate can did the wipe alone without any ritual sacrifice because he was weakened beforehand, then got back to his standard level of power by slaughtering people on Ziost, then right as he was at that level did the wipe. Honestly, I don't know where people get the idea he did it right when he was at full strength. At the end of the missions on Ziost which you spend fighting those he's mind controlled, you actually go back to the space station place that serves as a mission lobby. During the time the player is there, it's clear Vitiate still has people under mind control and is still killing to increase his power. I can't find any indication of canonically how long the gap is between you leaving the planet and you getting the signal that the planetary wipe is happening, or if Vitiate did it right after getting back to full power. I might just be missing something, so let's just go with the assumption that he did the wipe right as he got back to full strength.
Remember when I said Force users have gimmicks in Legends? Well, Vitiate's is rituals, pretty much. That and being a body-hopping spirit. He uses rituals for a ton of shit, rituals are kinda his thing. Here's the evidence Ziost was just another use of the ritual, even if he did it of his own power. More bullet points.
Some people try to say that this Codex entry disproves the idea that Ziost was a ritual. This is because it uses the word "but" while talking about rituals, separating the Ziost wipe from rituals as being its own different thing. This is not the greatest of arguments cause we see how the Ziost wipe works and I think it's pretty clearly supposed to be the same ritual Vitiate's famous for. The "but" here is more likely separating the "whispered rumors" nature of the previous planet-wiping events to the "clear display" of the Ziost ritual. The fact that they talk about an address to the Galactic Republic right after points to that. Honestly, it's how I read it the first time I saw it, this other interpretation didn't even cross my mind.
So yeah, it's a ritual. He can maybe activate it of his own power after the Nathema amp, but still, it's a ritual - very clearly its own thing with its own purpose and means of being performed. There might be some differences in the execution of Nathema and Ziost, but the practically identical outcomes show that the same principle is at play. And again, the ritual is more akin to a planetary Force Drain like what Nihilus does than some sort of planet-killing death wave. So let me address the same points as I did for Nihilus here.

Nobody scales to it

Saying that people can scale to a ritual is weird to me, but I guess you could say that if another Sith got their hands on the information of how to perform the ritual, they could do it, which would be a form of scaling. Sure, that works out to me I guess, but they probably wouldn't be able to do it of their own power like Ziost. Vitiate was only able to after doing it the first time, which permanently amped his power to a massive degree. They'd have to do the eight thousand Sith sacrifice first.

His other powers don't scale to it

Yeah this is just kinda obvious, Vitiate doesn't rip the crust off of planets with telekinesis or whatever, the ritual is what he does.
Honestly I don't get why people think you can scale Force powers to other Force powers at all. Like, what if a Force user only showed the ability to mind control people. Would you calc how many joules of energy it takes to mind control someone to determine how much they could hypothetically lift with their telekinesis? What if they only ever used Force lightning? How would you get the power of their mind control from that, would you take the wattage or something? Do you see why I think this is weird?

Kinda irrelevant

Since this is basically a weird version of Force Drain - works by sucking the Force out of the victims and the planet - just refer to the Nihilus section I guess. The funniest thing here is that, since planets in other verses wouldn't have Force in them to be drained out, you can argue that if you dropped Vitiate on real life Earth he wouldn't be able to surface wipe it. Kill everyone on the planet over time, sure, but not suck its Force out.

Verdict: Only with a Force power that his other powers don't scale to and that's mostly irrelevant in a standard WhoWouldWin scenario.

The Claim: Darth Bane is a surface wiper (feat. the thought bomb)

I'm gonna try and make this one brief. It's less complicated than those two doozies we just had to cover, so yeah. Remember the thing I joked about in the last post, "Darth Bane's world-crushing strategy?" Well, it turns out it's actually referring to a ritual that Darth Bane came up with.
Once again: ritual. Already it doesn't scale to anything, be that other Force users or Darth Bane's other abilities. It's a pretty uncomplicated ritual too, basically a bunch of Sith just sit together criss cross applesauce and channel their energy to make a storm that burns down a forest.
Apparently some people think this is surface wiping for whatever reason, which I don't understand. This ritual was intended to burn down a forest to force some Jedi out of hiding and is noted as being similar to and weaker than the thought bomb ritual, another ritual that involves a bunch of Sith joining together to do a thing.
Not going to say too much about the thought bomb as it's pretty complex, but it fucked up the ecosystem of the planet it was performed on, sucks up the spirits of Force users, and is a suicide attack. Otherwise, it's similar to the other ritual here with the Sith needing to join together to do it. Read the Wookieepedia page if you want to learn more. So Bane's ritual is explicitly weaker than that, despite his boast while performing it that he's going to "kill a world."
Also once again, we have an inflated Narutoforums calc. Sheesh, lots of Star Wars discussion on a forum for an entire different series.
The issue here is that the calc assumes the ritual covers half the planet when it stopped at the edge of a forest. It's also a bit wonky cause they made a lightning storm that burnt down the forest, it wasn't just some kind of direct energy blast or whatever. Trying to get a number out of the ritual is just kinda pointless anyways. It was cut short, so we didn't see its full power, and it's explicitly noted as being weaker than the surface-level thought bomb ritual. Plus, as we know from other Legends material, Force users combining their powers is multiplicative and not additive, so you can't even divide it by the people present or whatever.

Verdict: Only with a ritual that involves a bunch of Sith joining power.

Well, since I just covered a number of "surface wiping feats," let's go back to my first post and gather together all the surface wiping Force user stuff, shall we?
  • Palpatine's Force Storms - Even ignoring the WoG which says Palpatine can't make Force Storms of his own volition, they don't scale to his other abilities and are completely irrelevant in most combat scenarios. If he tried using one in a normal fight, he'd almost 100% kill himself with it just due to its sheer size and erratic nature. So it's only really good as some kind of weird suicide attack.
  • Random unnamed Sith Sorceress's ritual - Requires an obelisk to be built and several centuries of prep time, so it obviously doesn't scale to her other abilities and is completely irrelevant in any combat scenario I can think of. Also, this killed her.
  • Nihilus's Force Drain - Pointed out as being unique to him, clearly doesn't scale to his other abilities, and the "planet wiping range" of this power is completely irrelevant in most combat scenarios.
  • Vitiate's first ritual - Requires eight thousand Sith Lords worth of sacrifies.
  • Vitiate's Ziost feat - Still a ritual, even if he can activate it on his own now. Doesn't scale to his other abilities and the "planet wiping" trait of this ritual is completely irrelevant in most combat scenarios.
  • Darth Bane's ritual - Requires planning and multiple Force users joining together (which we know is multiplicative and not additive, so no one involved can scale), so it's completely irrelevant in most combat scenarios.
  • Thought bomb ritual - Same as above, except it's also a suicide attack.
Well, looking at it, it seems pretty consistent to me that you either need a lot of outside assistance or some sort of super special gimmick power which is completely irrelevant to combat to surface wipe in the Star Wars galaxy. To be clear here, when I say "combat" I'm talking about a 1v1 scenario you'd usually see on a battleboarding site.
So, yeah. Saying something like "Force users can surface wipe with some abilites" is technically true, but very dishonest and misleading, cause there's like... literally 3 Force users, Palps, Vitiate and Nihilus (talking about "mortals" here, not space gods or whatever) that you can argue can reliably surface wipe without any external help. Even then, they're not using raw Force power or telekinesis to do it, they're using super special gimmick powers that aren't really that relevant in a fight.
Oh, and let's talk about who those 3 are. Nihilus is literally a Dark Side aberration whose entire gimmick is that he can drain planets, and Vitiate and Palpatine have both been called the strongest Dark Side user ever. Trying to say whatever random Force user has surface wiping power cause Vitiate or Palpatine or Nihilus exist is just fucking stupid, especially cause they have to use special gimmicks to do so.
I feel like people get the wrong idea about what I'm trying to prove with debunking Legends shit. I'm not trying to say Legends is anemically weak or anything, I'm not trying to say it's the weakest setting in existence, I'm not trying to say Legends Jedi couldn't tear apart a soggy piece of paper. Legends Force users are still strong, they're just not strong like Dragon Ball Z characters are - their strength doesn't come from planet busting laser beams or whatever, it comes from stuff like powers that bypass conventional durability, mental manipulation, and other forms of "hax." I know every battleboarder wants their favorite series to be just like DBZ, but that just isn't how Star Wars is.

The Claim: CANON PALPATINE IS MFTL+++!!!!1!!

That is not a joke, people fucking believe this. I bet you weren't expecting to see canon wank make an appearance in this post, but I saw this and I just had to comment on it. It's even from The Rise of Skywalker, the movie where Palpatine is constrained to a giant mechanical baby chair for the majority of the run time.
Here's the calc and here's the quote used from the canon expanded novelization. He's apparently 2000 times faster than light because he sent his spirit to Exegol to inhabit his new clone body before the events of TROS. Cause y'know, he was a clone in that movie, they never actually explained that in the movie itself I don't think.
Yeah, this is sounding awfully familiar, isn't it? Gotta say, 2000 times FTL seems small when compared to the outlandish number for the equivalent feat from the other post. This is because the calc-er decided to go with a timeframe of 24 years, based on the first appearance of Snoke. This is actually pretty clever thinking, props to the guy who did this. But, if they had just read 1 sentence further, they would've known that Palpatine was in his clone body before his old one even hit the bottom of that giant shaft. It's written a little oddly, but it's pretty clear that's the implication - there's no mention of any time spent wandering space or whatever, just a straight jump from his old body dying to jolting awake in his new one.
So, does this make the feat even better since the timespan's shorter? Well, I think you can guess the answer - this is pretty clearly just him warping his spirit over to his clone body. I'm not going to repeat the same arguments I made for the other spirit warp feat, I'm just going to repeat that I don't understand why people use this kind of shit at all.
Like, if you go with the "hurtling through space for 24 years at 2000c" interpretation what do these people think was going on during all that time? Seriously, I have so many questions if we go with this version. Here's just a few:
Was Palpatine screaming and laughing evilly as his spirit shot through space at MFTL speeds? Was it instantaneous for him or did he feel every hour? Was he at risk of getting sucked into a black hole? Or hit with a supernova? Was he doing ghostly loop de loops around solar systems for kicks? Is it like the Google Chrome dinosaur game where you have to dodge cactuses and birds, but with celestial bodies? Did every asteroid he dodge give him 10 bonus points on his score? Would he get hurt if he slammed into an asteroid? Did he have to eat or sleep? Did he stop by Dex's Diner to pick up a wampa burger on the way to his clone body? Did he have to take bathroom breaks to spirit pee? Did he fly by Leia and Han's house to scare baby Kylo Ren in the cradle? Was that what made him evil? Was he really bored after year 10, or did he enjoy it the whole way through? Was he playing Mario Kart Tour on his Force spirit iPhone to pass the time? Or was he playing a more "old man" game, like solitaire or sudoku? Did he know where he was going? Did he need a map? Or did he have one memorized? Could he have run in with other Force spirits just floating around? Did he have an awkward conversation with ghost Obi-Wan or ghost Yoda? Did he have to then fight them on the spirit plane to keep them from warning Luke? Was it like an awesome extra-dimensional battle where they shot ghost lasers at each other? Oh, what if he took the wrong Force spirit exit and ended up on Naboo? Could he have possessed someone else, like something other than his clone body? Was there a wacky mixup where he accidentally ended up in the body of a Gungan cause his old man eyes mistook it for his clone body? Did he spend a month or two in that Gungan body because he grew attached to the previous owner's wife and kids and enjoyed being back on his home planet? Did he have to have awkward Gungan sex with the wife to keep up the charade? Did he see the effects of the wars he caused on the Gungans and start to feel bad and regret the whole Sith thing? Did he have to then remind himself what he was doing and throw himself down that big shaft in the Naboo power plant Darth Maul fell down so he could get his soul out again? Or did he just commit suicide by booma sling to the temple? Was he emotionally scarred after that? When he did get back to his clone body, did he send money to the Gungan family to make sure that they were being taken care of? Did he secretly deliver a present to the little Gungan children's doorstep on Life Day? Did they open the door just as he was able to flee down the corner? Did the children, still grieving their father's death, catch sight of the back of his robe and ask their mom who that old man was? Did she look wistfully after him, shaking her head and saying she didn't know, but that she felt there was something familiar about him?
Honestly, this should be a fucking Disney+ series, this sounds entertaining as hell. You could call it "Dude, Where's My Clone?" and appeal to the stoner demographic. Or, perhaps, go in a more dramatic direction: "Star Wars: Soul Searching." Any way you slice it, a galactic roadtrip with a senile Sith spirit sounds like it could be really fun. Get on it, Dave Filoni.
Anyways, I don't really get why people think Force spirits have to travel anywhere at all. Remember how Obi-Wan died on the Death Star, then his spirit showed up on Hoth in Empire? Was he like, already there? Did he know through the Force Luke would need him there in a few years and start jogging over at a brisk 20,000c at the end of the first movie? How about his trip from Hoth to Dagobah? Or over to the forest moon of Endor?
When Force spirits show up - you know, how they fade into a scene - is that them popping out of lightspeed? Yeah, I really don't think so, they can just teleport I'm pretty sure. Well, "teleport" is probably not the right word, but you know what I mean.
Oh, here's another question: what about projections? Like how Luke sent a Force projection over to Crait in Last Jedi. Was his projection moving MFTL to get there in time or something? Does that mean canon Luke has MFTL reactions too? I think Yoda did the same thing in Rebels or something. Does that mean...
Wait. I should stop giving these people ideas.

Verdict: lol no.

The Claim: "The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

Jesus Christ, what am I doing? Why do I have to make an argument against this? Why do people use this?
I bet you think this is some kind of joke, but no, I see people use this statement all the fucking time. Fucking Death Battle used it in a Q&A, oh God, shoot me please let this nightmare end, I pray for death every day and it never comes. Either people use the original version Vader said in the original Star Wars or the version from the Dark Empire endnotes which upgrades it to being an entire system instead of just a planet.
First off, I'd like to point out that the Dark Empire endnotes version of the statement isn't specifically being said about Palpatine. The wording is "he said this during the time when he served the Emperor," not "he specifically said this about the Emperor." This is like basic reading comprehension, I learned this shit in kindergarten, but people misread this shit all the time and say "yeah Vader was talking about the Emperor." No he wasn't, learn to read.
Second, I seriously don't think that the VSBW crowd that brings this line up have even watched Star Wars or understand it at all. I'm willing to bet most have only seen the Dark Empire version posted around and don't know that the line is from the movie.
I'm certain about this because there are much better lines to wank. Obi-Wan says that the Force "binds the galaxy together" in the original movie. Does VSBW not know about this? Of course they don't, the only Obi-Wan quotes they know are fucking unfunny prequel jokes. If they did know about it every single character would be a galaxy buster because "they can control the Force which is a galaxy-binding energy." It's not too far from how they jerk off Yarael Poof.
Here's the thing: the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. We see this in the movie. Luke Skywalker was only able to destroy the Death Star after he accepted the Force and let it guide him during the trench run. If it weren't for the Force, he wouldn't have made the shot. The Force allows him to overcome the planet-destroying Death Star. At the risk of sounding pretentious, that's kinda the fucking point.
The Force is higher than material things, it's not just something Jedi use to lift things into the air, it's literally their religion. It's a religion for the Sith, too, that's why Darth Vader's saying that in that scene. It's the same thing as a Christian person saying "God is mightier than all."
Taking this claim at surface level is the exact same thing as taking Admiral Motti's claim about the Death Star being the "ultimate power in the universe" at surface level. Sorry VSBW, gonna have to slide Palpatine down from a multi solar system buster to a sub-planet buster, he can't be higher than the Death Star. Move Abeloth and Grandmaster Luke and the Mortis trio and everyone else down too. Motti just said that the Death Star, which can only bust planets, is the "ultimate" power in the universe, so nobody can be higher. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules.
You know, it probably seems like I've been going hard on Legends wank, but honestly it's quite the opposite. I've been generous. I've given this shit the benefit of the doubt at every opportunity, and not once in this post or the post before have I used the "this is just a statement" argument. Even though a lot of this shit is just fucking statements.
Jerec with the Valley of the Jedi being able to blow up solar systems? Just a statement, we never see this.
The Sith Meditation Sphere being able to blow up stars? Just a statement, we never see this, the only guide that says this recaps the story incorrectly. It was the Sith Corsair ship that blew up the star in the comic, not the Sphere.
Wutzek being able to blow up solar systems? Just a statement, we never see him do anything like this.
And this? This is the definition of "just a statement." If you use this scene to say Jedi can blow up planets, you are a fucking moron, full stop.

Verdict: Please, please, please fuck off with this shit.

submitted by 76SUP to CharacterRant [link] [comments]

Boseman, Black Panthers and Rainbows at the angle of 42, a synchromystic map.

We are all sad to hear about the death of Black Panther King Chadwick Boseman. He was a fine actor and played some of the most pivotal roles in his short span of making movies. And he was making some of these movies deep into stage three cancer all while keeping it a secret and smashing it in all of his roles.
Underneath everything there is a hidden saga being told. A strange world where everything is connected by some sort of energy that ebs and flows reality around in particular patterns.
I notice things and point things out that I find to be strange. Many people are quick to say that the things I bring up are “the work of the Illuminati” but I feel that it is no man or group that is running this algorithm of life and death, creation and destruction.
Ill start at the top of my research and just lay out the peculiar findings that I KNEW in my gut would be found. But then again everything is just coincidence......
The strangest thing happened when I looked up his birthday. I checked wikipedia and plugged in the date of birth till death day and saw 43 years.
Then I go to IMDB and also noticed many of the news outlets reporting “dies at 42” and “dies at 43” in about a half and half distribution.
Then almost as Im watching the edits begin and everything that once had his birthday at 11-29-1977 was now changed to 1978
This is not the first time this has happened and especially with someone with such a significant series of date counts attached to their birth and death days.
Born on the 333 day of the year and he lived 42y 8m 4w 2d But this is obfuscated with the alteration of his birthdate.
I stated that this wasn't the first time this happened as it happened with Joan Lee the wife of Stan Lee one of the co-creators of The Black Panther comic book series.

Joans birthday 2-5-24 until 9-11-2001 is 77years 7months and 7 days inclusive! Joan died on 7-6-17 which is 5777 days after 9-11-2001!
7-7-17 was the day that Spider-man: Homecoming was released in theaters The day after Joan Lee began her journey HOME.
This is also strange because of the fact that on Trumps Inauguration 2016 he was 70y 7m 7d old. And he met with Putin the day after Joan lees death on 7-7-17 when Putin was entering his 777th month of life
Also note Trumps convergence with Abraham Lincoln, in addition to using Lincolns Bible to be sworn in on the inauguration day mentioned.
Trump’s first full day of life was 770 months, 777 weeks and 770 days after Lincoln was assassinated.

Trump’s first full day in office was 70 years, 777 months, 777 weeks and 777 days from the day Lincoln died. This day was on Trump’s 70th year, 7th month and 7th day of life.
But if you look now you will see a completely different birth-date
Here is a screenshot taken the day of Joan lees Death and one cannot ignore the blatent spiderman SYCHRONY Ad.
I took this screenshot NOT because of the date but because of the SYNCHRONY ad. But doing so gave me a record of the change happening the very next day when it was altered.

We got a little of topic bringing up Joan lee, Trump, Lincoln But it is also the finest example of a tight sync chain connecting multiple folks and also an example of Revisionist history when the dates are changes as we saw with Chadwick Boseman.
Chadwick Boseman was the King of Wakanda and builder of bridges and not barriers.
Black Panther was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby who debuted in the July 1966 edition of The Fantastic Four #52.
Jack Kirby was born 8-28-1917 and the day Chadwick Boseman died would have been Jack Kirby(black Panthers co-creator) 103rd birthday
Boseman played a collection of Real Historic Black figures that were firsts in their fields.
But lets go back to his first listed role.
Chadwick plays Reggie in the soap opera All My Children and his role was taken over by Micheal B Jordan who would later portray his enemy in the Blockbuster hit Black Panther
The alchemy there is strong. 1 person splitting into 2 versions and they are Nemesis.
Killmonger was a Black Power “destruction of the White Colonists kind of person. “He became a subversive, with dreams of ridding Wakanda of what he termed "white colonialist" cultural influences and return it entirely to its ancient ways.”
Black Power and the Raised fist are symbols of the Black Panther Party symbology. There is a strong current in the Zietgiest right now that is pushing for the 2nd American Civil war.
Chadwicks first major feature film (42) had him play Jackie Robinson the FIRST Black man to join the MLB.
Robinson broke the baseball color line when he started at first base for the Brooklyn Dodgers on April 15, 1947.[2] When the Dodgers signed Robinson, they heralded the end of racial segregation in professional baseball that had relegated black players to the Negro leagues since the 1880s
Robinson heralded in the Segregation of the MLB. On 4-15-1947
Jack Roosevelt Robinson was born on January 31, 1919, into a family of sharecroppers in Cairo, Georgia. Note: CAIRO
The city was named after Cairo, the capital of Egypt. Why? Hmm.
So Boseman dieing at 42 and playing in the film 42 is not enough to warrant our attention but the icing on the cake is the effect of the CORONAVIRUS on the MLB.

The teams took the field in their No. 42 jerseys but walked off after a 42-second moment of silence.
The on-field celebrations, including the league-wide wearing of number 42, instead took place on Friday, August 28, commemorating the 75th anniversary of the date Robinson met with Branch Rickey to discuss joining the Dodgers as well the 57th anniversary of the March on Washington.
75th and 57th anniversaries of 2 iconic events for the lives of black Americans. There was a moment of silence before the game for Chadwick Boseman, the actor who played Jackie Robinson in the movie "42." Boseman died from colon cancer Friday, the day Major League Baseball marked its annual Jackie Robinson Day.
This is all made more shocking since it was during the Dodgers game on Jackie Robinson day that the announcement of Chadwicks death was made via Twitter.

Chadwick then went on too play the role of the 'Father of Soul” James Brown, in the film Get on Up
James brown had a ritual that he would perform on stage where he got down on his knees and a cape was placed upon his shoulders to give him the strength to “Get on Up”
Boseman starred along side Nelsan Ellis who played Bobby Byrd
In 1952 Bobby Byrd formed and sang with a gospel group called the Gospel Starlighters. During a friendly baseball match at a juvenile prison, he met a young James Brown who was serving time there on robbery charges. Byrd befriended him and arranged for Byrd's family to oversee Brown's parole.[3] This began a personal and professional association that lasted until 1973.
Nelsan Ellis also stared in the 2008 film The Express, along with Boseman. The film being about the first African American winner of the Heisman Trophy another First on the list of Firsts.
I also took note of Nelsan Ellis playing Martin Luther KING Jr in the film “The Butler”
Which was the final film of Laura Ziskin who died of breast cancer 6-12-2011 (Da 5 bloods releases on the 13th anniversary of Laura's death to Cancer.)
In the late 1960s, after civil rights activist Martin Luther King, Jr.'s assassination, Louis tells his family that he has joined the Black Panthers. Cecil orders Louis and his girlfriend to leave his house. Louis is arrested again. Cecil becomes aware of President Richard Nixon's plans to suppress the Black Panthers.
Remember that Boseman died on the 75th anniversary of Jackie Robinson day and the 57th Anniversary of MLKs I have a dream speech in the National Mall/Lincoln memorial.
The reason Nelsan Ellis stands out to me is he was connected with Joan Lees death as her death was 7-6 and his was 7-8 and they were mirrors of one another. 93/39 black/white male/female. The mirroring element is highly important. But in seeing Boseman and Ellis together in 2 films made seeing Ellis's birth-date that much more potent.
Nelsan Eliis Born 11-30-1977 Chadwick Boseman Born 11-29-1977
Only 1 day separates the birth of these two men.

We are 3 episodes into the new HBO TV show about Jim Crow era racism in a Lovecraftian horror show called Lovecraft Country which debuted on 8-16-2020 12 day before Jackie Robinson day and Bosemans Death.
The first episode opens with a Dream Sequence.
“The opening monologue we hear in the first sequence of “Sundown” is a quote from the 1950 biopic The Jackie Robinson Story, a rosy recounting of the first officially acknowledged Black baseball player to join the Major Leagues. “This is the story of a boy and his dream,” the narrator recounts as our hero, Atticus, a.k.a. Tic, literally dreams of fighting a war, first against enemies in the trenches, and then against giant UFOs and flying Cthulhus. “But more than that, it is the story of an American boy and dream that is truly American.”
A Biopic where Jackie Robinson plays himself.
Note The American Dream and I have a dream, coated with some revisionist history Lovecraft lore that Lovecraft would hate as he was a racist.( he had a cat named “NI##ER)

Da 5 Bloods is Bosemans most recent release who he plays alongside/with Johnathon Majors the man who had the dream about Jackie Robinson destroying the nightmare starspawn creature in the opening scene of Lovecraft Country.
In LCC Majors is a Korean War vet and in Da 5 Bloods he is involved in the Vietnam War.
As he rages to himself, Paul has a vision of Norman who reminds him that he was the one who had killed him, having shot him by accident during the firefight, and that he should let go of his guilt. Desroche's men find Paul and kill him. At the temple, Desroche and the gunmen arrive. After confronting the Frenchman, now wearing Paul's MAGA hat, Otis, Melvin and Vinh start shooting, killing all of Desroche's men. Desroche wounds Otis and tries to finish him off with a hand grenade, but Melvin sacrifices himself by leaping on top of it. Desroche prepares to execute Otis, but David shoots and kills him with Otis's gun. Vinh helps the surviving Bloods share out the gold. Melvin's widow receives his share, and Eddie's goes to a Black Lives Matter organization. Hedy and Simon donate their shares to LAMB in Seppo's name. Norman's remains are brought home to his family by the military. David reads a letter from Paul, who tells him that he will always love him. Otis visits Tiên and bonds with his daughter for the first time.

Well that's a surprise. The Vietnam film flashes forward too today and has both a MAGA hat AND BLM

Kobe and Boseman.......

I made a similar post about the Life and death and synchromystic web of Kobe earlier this year and we are now seeing an interesting mirror in Bosemans death.
The most obvious correlation is the mirroring of the 2 mens numbers. 42 and 24 and ill point out that Kobe Bryants 42nd birthday would have taken place 4 days before Chadwick's death.
Kobe Bryant died on 1-26-20 1x2x6x2= 24 his number
Here is Barack Obama the 44th president and also the First African American President with Kobe Bryant being gifted a jersey.
Here is President Barack Obama accepting the Gift of the purple Crown with the 42 on in.
The most liked Tweet of all time belonged to Barack Obama and since Chadwicks death that title has been taken by the announcement of his death via his personal twitter.
Chadwick had posted the video to launch Operation 42, a scheme that donated $4.2million worth of PPE to hospital that looked after African American communities most affected by coronavirus.
The actor spoke to the camera about the cause clad in a purple baseball cap wearing the mark of the charity and a full beard.
The same purple hat(crown) he gave too Obama
Corona Virus can be looked as Corona= Crown Virus= Venom of the snake.(via the etymology.
This connects to the chakra system and highlights the “Rainbow Bridge” via the number 42
Purple is the Crown Chakra and the color of nobility and the crown as it is a combination of Red Vs Blue.
Rainbows are all about perspective. In the eye of the beholder The bifrost is the rainbow bridge in the marvel mythos. The way to travel from the realm of man to the realm of the gods.
Black Mamba and the Black Panther both iconic pass in 2020 the year of perfect vision. Or is it that in hindsight we will see more clearly into 2020.
The Snake and Cat intertwined is a common trope in the tattoo industry perhaps hearkening back to the 3 sacred animals of the Mayan/Inca mythology.
Black mamba is also a cannon character in the Marvel mythos.
And WTF is this my friends?
I had no idea this existed but if you look a couple lines up you will see the breakdown of CoronaVirus above as SNAKE CROWN. That is sync in action.
A mystical object with many similarities to the Serpent Crown – the "Cobra Crown" – is shown to have existed during the Hyborian Age that followed the Great Cataclysm.[4] A follower of Set called Thoth-Amon allies himself with some surviving Serpent Men and briefly wields this second Crown. Another receptacle of Set's vast power, the Cobra Crown also enables its wearer to control the minds of others. However, it appears that it was much inferior to the Serpent Crown as its abilities eventually burn out and it is apparently destroyed during the course of a conflict between Thoth-Amon and Conan the Barbarian
Which is a good segway into
Chawick Boseman plays Thoth the God of Wisdom and the word in the star studded hit, Gods of Egypt
Thoth is one of the few gods in the pantheon of Wakanda\_Coalition\_(Fred\_Hampton)
The Rainbow Coalition was a multicultural movement founded April 4, 1969 in Chicago, Illinois by Fred Hampton of the Black Panther Party, along with William "Preacherman" Fesperman of the Young Patriots Organization and Jose Cha Cha Jimenez founder of the Young Lords. It was the first of several 20th century Black-led organizations to use the "rainbow coalition" concept.
Rainbow-42-Jackie Robinson-Black Panther founded on the 1 year anniversary of the Assassination of MLK
The rainbow has become symbolic of the LGBTQ and Racial equality movements and is also equated with Pride the many colors shining out of the 1 light
T’Challa quotes a version of an actual African proverb that says that “the wise build bridges” while “the foolish” build walls. (Some variations on that proverb say “dams” instead of “barriers” or “walls.”)
John Lewis is another powerful Black leader that helped bring us to where we are today.
21 bridges was released on the 57th anniversary of the assassination of JFK 21x2=42
Rainbow Bridge.
JFK had sent a letter to Jackie Robinson
JFK had Judy Garland sing him Somewhere over the rainbow.

Another Of Bosemans Iconic roles as the first black supreme court justice that resided over the case 'Brown Vs the board of education” the case that would end racial segregation in schools.
James Brown was another of his powerful Black men Chadwick Played in his short span of acting.
In 1961, President John F. Kennedy appointed Marshall to the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit. Four years later, President Lyndon B. Johnson appointed Marshall as the United States Solicitor General.
He was appointed to the court of appeals by JFK himself.
“Marshall attended Howard University School of Law, where he worked harder than he had at Lincoln. His mother had to pawn her wedding and engagement rings to pay the tuition. “
Howard university was where Chadwick and Kamala Harris Graduated from as well.
This would be the final picture posted by Boseman
Some of the information I recived was from Kijani's video on the subject. Some very fine research with more of a religious tint to it.
Another fantastic source of numeric synchronicity from Brother Berg.
666 weeks before Bosemans birth Malcolm X was assassinated 666 months before Bosemans death Malcolm X was assassinated. Black Panther=666 (sumerian Gematria)
Boseman=33 died 30 months 30 days after the premier of "Black Panther" =330. Wakanda =330. Boule =330, the black fraternal order founded 3333 weeks before MLK died. Boseman born on the 333rd day of the year.
What is the Boule Society?
Sigma Pi Phi (ΣΠΦ) is the first successful and oldest Black Greek-lettered organization. Sigma Pi Phi was founded in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on May 15, 1904. The fraternity quickly established chapters (referred to as "member boulés"
The word boulé, derived from ancient Greek βουλή), originally referred to a council of nobles advising a king. It is also used by the African-American sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha
Sigma Pi Phi founder Henry McKee Minton and Martin Luther King Jr
Boule was founded 3333 weeks before MLK assassination.
ames Weldon Johnson is a member of Phi Beta Sigma, as is civil rights leader and member of Congress John Lewis
Sigma Pi Phi is open to members of all races, as can be demonstrated by its well-known white member Jack Greenberg, who succeeded Thurgood Marshall as the leader of the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Inc.
This explains the fact why there would be no Black Panther without Denzel Washington (Malcolm )

Ok folks, did I leave anything out? Well im sure by the nature of such research I left everything out. But I went with my gut and showed all the elements that resonated with me in combination with the current zietgiest (spirit of culture)
Let me try and do a TLDR, god forgive me.
First the Date of birth being altered on all sources was the first red flag.
Chadwick boseman died on the would be 103rd birthday of the cocreator of Black Panther Jack Kirby on the same day as the 57th March on Washington where MLK performed his I have a Dream speech and also the day of the postponed Jackie Robinson day where Boseman Played Jackie and wore the 42.
He played alongside Nelsan Ellis in 2 films Nelsan died 7-8-17 a couple days after Joan Lee whos birthday was also altered and scrubbed off the internet to hide the truth apparent within the facts. Birth till 9-11 was 77y 7m 7 d from 9-11 till death was 5777 days ending up in the middle of Hebrew year 5777 and on dieng on the release date of spider-man homecoming.
This whole thing is about Black white and the Rainbow we are all in, but the light just has to shine at the right angle (42) for us to have 2020 vision, but most likely hindsight will be 2020 and years later all of this will make sense.\_Philadelphia\_race\_riot See also
Antifa (United States)), a contemporary anti-fascist movement COINTELPRO, a series of projects conducted by the Federal Bureau of Investigation aimed at surveilling, infiltrating, discrediting, and disrupting domestic political organizations including the Black Panther Party Rainbow Coalition (Fred Hampton)), a political organisation by Fred Hampton of the Black Panther Party

BLM's predecessor and the origin of the popularized raised clenched fist. Was Antifa.

What does all this mean?
Well its all just a coincidence and the ravings of a madman right?
You may have seen my previous writings on such recent events and that might give you better perspective on the whole. Im not the guy saying these are the biblical endtimes, or the guy saying this is all the work of the illuminati.
Im the guy saying we don't have any clue to what consciousness and reality actually is. Im the guy that believes the universe is the great teacher. EVERYTHING humans know and every idea that has arisen has arisen out of nature. Every animal is a teacher, every process in physics is a teacher, every element of creation by man and god is a teaching tool. We are trying to learn what we are. The universe is a troll but in the way a ZEN master riddles his students with KOANS that ostensibly have no true meaning. But it is the process of play and entertaining ideas and convincing ourselves that every truth could be false and every fallacy could be true.
I don't have the answers, I just see what is there to be seen and I think about what is seen and relay my thoughts and the things I see. You may have to read through this a couple times to understand the crux of each individual link I mention but if you come at this with an open mind you may have an easier time and learn something.
R.I.P Chadwick, Kobe,Martin,Malcolm,James,Thurgood, T'challa and every other black icon in history to bring us to where we are today. We are at the start of the rainbow bridge and we can journey up through all the colors to get to the Crown, for we are all kings and queens heroes and villains on this world stage. PLAY your part!
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DWT20 (October 9th 2020)

DWT20 (October 9th 2020)
Testing testing; check one two – DWT is live once again on Reddit!
Terrific, terrific stuff
Alas – promotion has remained minimal; the week has been chocka-bloc with terrific activities. Had almost forgotten simple pleasures owing to the knee-deepedness type consistency of the path that had been trodden for so long. A wee arm reaching down from above - a clasp of forearms; and up out of the sludge for a wee wander about in the open. Very freeing I must say - and if not for the knee-deepedness, then maybe one would not know of the purity one feels currently. There's always been a wee pinch of reservedness when it comes to progress I'll freely admit - when brought up learning the lessons I've learnt and their implications on my own existence - its tough to be anything but humble.
No doubt the output in the wider sense has been limited compared to days of old; the wild sporadic nature of a few years back was the energy of a man who had a back and a pair of kneecaps. Still there they are aye - but the spirit has dissipated by golly (hoo mama haha - ah no);. No the end of the world - but needs must when time and budget are of a tentative nature. As each new product to alleviate pain is purchased, the need for ritual becomes even more of a necessity. Without the apparence of getting up each Satday morn, sitting at the desk, sitting the laptop atop the wee stand thing, switching on the wee bluetooth keyboard - attaching the wee mousey and usb mini-bendy light. On with the Sonos - a wee browse through the options; something infinite tapped on - a couple of tabs of opening in the browser (one for etching the new manuscript, the other for templating purposes). Then another couple of staples: the gambling page for cash out hovering (even right now haha - ah no), Twitter for linking / supporting banter. Sports news for checking the bollocks journos are saying, The Hat (obviously - an oft dark yet necessary place of virtue where many terrific observations can be made and mused over). Giphy for the gif. The Reddit ERA DWT Pictures folder open to upload the Good Ship. On the phone - Flashscore bookmarks/updates confirmed (also implemented below - each DWT selection is hyperlinked to the corresponding match preview page on Flashscore 😎. Back on the laptop a wee notepad doc prepped containing the table framework that becomes the 'current situ' comment you've all come to love and know.
So whilst worn into the carpet - this path is one I love as much as any routine activity I do. Its not the ultimate experience obviously (as yet) haha - but in much the same way as a person of religion/devotion of some nature; regardless of commentary or opinion, the desire to pursue should always be nurtured if the energy behind it proves irresistable. Sure - in terms of being an actual presence of force in the wider context - there is work to do (hoo mama - ah no); but there has been evidence this energy can exist in association with DWT. A period back in the formative year of DWT where the crest of a wave was surfed upon for a prolonged spell of months (no many - but sure it was; lets say weeks to be safe). In my mind, that sense of achievement was suffice. I like many, enjoy thoroughly gazing through the family photo albums, exploring the pleasant memories they conjure. So much so, even the memories of gazing upon the photos at a younger age are fond; the epitome of an actual happy place.
Continuing the essence of terrific memory collecting is one I have forever and always will be dedicated to creating. Forming terrific memories is a craft; sometimes the groundwork involves openly exploring the dark to reveal sections of map that would otherwise be unknown. The sacrifices of a joybringer are well documented; being the creator of something that is in its essence promoting positivity is raw for the mockery - often the message being promoted is lost amidst all the negativity people create, owing to their disdain. But as a word of advice - I will say this: a naysayer is searching for anything to infect with their own brand of poison. A born fan of your message often doesnae realise that that's what they are. Such is the dilution of material available, amazing art is lost in the translation, owing to the loss of appetite for creation. Whilst there may be periods of disenchantment, I will always pursue what rekindles joy in my soul. It may not become president, it may not land on mars - but DWT will always be welcome in my bosom for a warm embrace.
For those keeping track - last week saw a glimpse of what is possible; two last minute goals for DWT selections (albeit just to equalise)....imagine that'd had happened in accompaniment with DWT backing with last minute winners in place of equaliser. That party would likely still be happing now had that happened. Instead - a dry empty retun for much too many times now. Early season is a proper pain in the balls what with the unexpected nature of certain arseholes deciding they now with have suddenly remembered or suddenly forgotten even, how to play football. So to wrap up - when we head to memory lane, to revisit the joy and pain - we don't complain, as there's warmth in the main. Reddit Running Total (RRT) currently sits at -£122.69. Ah no.

I’m not promoting it in the slightest to be put on; it's purely to be completely transparent about where the beans I'm spilling are being pushed towards – this is after all, a Life Experiment: Can a useless old arsehole prosper under strict weekly gambling conditions? Word of warning; prior to this – not really.
The sticky clarifies - but just to reiterate - here's the format...DRS20 is Dads Recommended Spend: £20. This is a lot of money granted - and I would encourage absolute apprehension if this sort of money represents life altering for you personally if zero is returned. I’m lucky enough to be able to afford to lose £20 in a week; but confess that if I got no return for say, 20 weeks in a row - I would likely be without something I value (a streaming service or summat). I don’t take it lightly. Four bets are placed with this outlay; a £5 Treble (DWT) and three £5 Doubles. Generally if two come up, the bet is covered (up or down £2 or so). My gambling prowess is pretty much a joke; so whilst I advertise, I in no way qualify them as a given. I’m a prick with plenty bollocks to spout is all. This is how I frame it.

So here it is - the one the brings maturity into its inner circle with an extra smear of sexy spread over the buttered toast of dependibility:
Its DWT20

BRISTOL ROVERS lincoln city 14/5
MANSFIELD TOWN stevenage 19/20
SALFORD CITY tranmere 1/1

13.82/1 we get for this selection – terrific.

Over 33's last week; over 13's this week - aye, time shes up on the thirties for now - a wee return to the fold that gained us a shotty or two at predicting the improbable. A solid keystone in the form of Bristol Rovers; theres' a swodge of dependable grease dawbed on the gears working tirelessly to guide the ship into sexier waters. A wee service conducted, the cooling effect lends itself nicely to the mantra whereby a slap is received to the face. A shake of the head, wits regained - its back to beeswax and no fucking mistake - hoo mama 😎

BRISTOL ROVERS are the catalyst to real success this week; away to in form lincoln - you'd perhaps be leaning towards the thought of 'stupid old arsehole'. But here - as mused above; early season is an odd time for many as they settle into the groove of where they fit in the grand scheme. Atop the table they sit, ripe for a snatch and grab given the onus is on them to win most the time - especially at home. Bristol have had a bit of a tough one to get going with; Ipswich and Sunderland both providing opposition to them already thus far. There's an obvious gameplan to execute here. All being well - terrific 😎
MANSFIELD TOWN are doing a bit shite to be fair; no wins in 5 - starting to feel a bitty hot under the collar when nodding to the fact I selected them as league winners amongst my annual 'league winners predictions' wager. Ah no. But here - early days; a wee win the day to kick start the motorbike of hope into life. Step forward an opponent themselves with three defeats in a row - stevenage are longterm pish in the main, straggling down there in the muck. Back with a vengeace then - yippee kayak ay
SALFORD CITY are really starting to settle into being comfortable being rich bloated bastards - wins aplenty piling up over the last several. Time then to turn Salford Stadium into a fortress of Terror; regardless of name - whoever takes the field against them are deemed fodder. Todays fodder is tranmere, who've stuttered along in the main since seasons start - nothing to suggest they're coming to town in a big trojan horse ready to spring a surprise attack on a glossy healthy bunch of pricks like Salford.

So there we have it – nostalgia, hope and determination all apparent in equal measure. This time we do it right; wind in the sails – and off across the ocean in search of new worlds. A powerful pirate ship hunting high and low for treasures. Raise the fucking flag - the good ship DWT is back and ready to provide for its crew. If you play; play safe. DRS20 as always people.
Frustration at the amount won, is better than the heartache at the amount lost.
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DWT18 (September 26th 2020)

DWT18 (September 26th 2020)
Testing testing; check one two – DWT is live once again on Reddit!
Terrific, terrific stuff
Alas – promotion has remained minimal; and to be honest - I cannae see that changing. I dinnae see much point. The folks interested enough in the snifter of Dad action by ways of comments left on Twitter and here on other subReddits (all above board - come on now), will choose to stay if they feel the right level of testosterone and vigour. So far - thats you, whoever you are, wherever you are. The growth level has been gradual in the truest sense of the word haha, but given the output, i.e. Saturday and Sunday - its a snatch and grab effort over premium days in anyones schedule.
Another stinger there it was in mid-week for the Dons; but as ever, a terrific few days of build up. the words after may oft be harsh - but there's no doubting the ability of all us together in getting over-excited about trivial shite haha, cannae beat it. For fans of other mobs - sure there's a similar sort of thing going on with yourselves possibly. Criticism for much the same sorts of stuff in historic failure's - but there was a fucking great chance there near the end...ach well. Live and learn (again).
A couple of kicks to the balls later - you oft get haphazard, 'Cahm on then you cant - facking av it' type energy; just eager to stop the rot and blast off into hyperspace away from the misery. Perhaps this feeling has spilled over into todays selections - emotions running high haha But nowt better than a big chunk of change slapped into the centre of ones palm - hoo mama YES haha mon
But lets not shy away from the horror that was the second zero return in three attempts - absolute shit. Close maybes to a cash out click that would have saved the blushes, but if thats what we're here to see, then the pressure on the words presenting it, is of a level that demands close to perfection every time (just as well then). I think thats maybes starting to settle in somewhat with one or two - the bet itself is not something to be sharing with your buddies on its own - the preamble is what they should be taking heed of. The empahasis more on knowing that Dad has had a good or the more oft bad day at the gamblin' is the light-hearted side of things; the plethora of terrific ramblin' is the poignant, informative side of things.
For those keeping track - last week saw a return to absolute shitness; 1 out of 3 (do take some pride in recognising the moment Dundee Utd halted the recent rot - young Shankland, well what do you know - 1 man team haha). Stats taking a kick to the plums once more; a right pair of bruised bastards they are now by golly. Still - if there's one thing I've an abundance of, it's ointment (if you're thinking thats a wee symbollic gesture towards my cash money, then alas - you are wrong. Ah no); so each Saturday night, I'll slather a big handful of ointment onto the marbles, wrap the buggers up with medical cloth - and thence retire to ones quarters praying for a smooth night of sailing. We still remain at the stage where one DWT victory equals a couple of nights attentive medical care for the balls - so dinnae be getting teary-eyed just yet. I'm always the first one up on a Sunday morn musing the previous over and summing her up in the reflection. So to wrap up - protecting ones nuts, avoiding the cuts - we're dismissing the buts, and raiding the huts Reddit Running Total (RRT) currently sits at -£82.69. Ah no.

I’m not promoting it in the slightest to be put on; it's purely to be completely transparent about where the beans I'm spilling are being pushed towards – this is after all, a Life experiment: Can a useless old arsehole prosper under strict weekly gambling conditions? Word of warning; prior to this – not really.
The sticky clarifies - but just to reiterate - here's the format...DRS20 is Dads Recommended Spend: £20. This is a lot of money granted - and I would encourage absolute apprehension if this sort of money represents life altering for you personally if zero is returned. I’m lucky enough to be able to afford to lose £20 in a week; but confess that if I got no return for say, 20 weeks in a row - I would likely be without something I value (a streaming service or summat). I don’t take it lightly. Four bets are placed with this outlay; a £5 Treble (DWT) and three £5 Doubles. Generally if two come up, the bet is covered (up or down £2 or so). My gambling prowess is pretty much a joke; so whilst I advertise, I in no way qualify them as a given. I’m a prick with plenty bollocks to spout is all. This is how I frame it.

So here it is - the one that can now buy beer, cigarettes and pornography:
Its DWT18

Crystal Palace (home to everton): 13/5 (Live on Amazon Prime)
Coventry City (away to barnsley): 23/10
Mansfield Town (home to exeter): 13/8

30.19/1 we get for this selection – terrific.

Over 11's last week; over 30's this week - clearly Dad (me) has his eyes on a return of magnificent proportions; hoo mama. But here - 11's last week, and fuck all back. We are reaching for the stars here people. Belief, intrigue and wealth all on the agenda today all going well - why eat a takeaway in your car when you can feast on a banquet in your castle 😎
Crystal Palace find themselves amongst an elite of 5 with 100% so far, another being todays opponents everton. Something potentially has to give (unless its a draw obviously); but having listened to the wee stat there, that everton found themselves (for a fleeting moment) on top of the league for the first time in 17 years - I couldnae help but visualise disappointment for the swines in their very next match. Palace coming into this one having claimed a famous victory at man u last week. Pricks will say Utd are shit atm - but lets no underestimate the value of the achievement; a masterclass in containment and ruthlessness. At home sure - so the appetite to venture forth may well be more apparent; but hasnae done them much harm in recent times - strong dependable bastards at home they are.
Coventry City have nae exactly been a regualr DWT selection (their debut it is the day - at least during the Reddit era. Maybes overall - I'm no sure tbh. I can check if theres a demand to know) - but the march they went on last season was eye-catching to say the least. Defeat on the opening day - but won a five goal thriller last time out over QPR - they're here to be in the mixer. Todays foes barnsley have had a tough time - league form so far 2 defeats and no goals scored. Throw in a 6-0 hammering to Chelsea in the cup last time out, and we have a bunch of lads tinged with a smidge of confidence deficiencies apparent. Pressure on to grab back some hope - new invigorated upstarts perhaps not the best thing to be in the way.
Mansfield Town have a couple of draws thus far, which sees them a couple of points ahead of todays opponents exeter. My personal choice for the title this year (just a feeling - last years final place perhaps lending itself to folk accusing me of being a fool), Mansfield will be keen to kickstart the good feeling with a home win; generally found them to be a pretty ruthless set of bastards last season when they gave a fuck (much like Brentford - pricks do some destroying when they are in utero). Playoffs last season exeter managed - so expectations high for going that extra mile. Shit so far - a home defeat to Port Vale last time out doing little for the belief.

So there we have it – nostalgia, hope and determination all apparent in equal measure. This time we do it right; wind in the sails – and off across the ocean in search of new worlds. A powerful pirate ship hunting high and low for treasures. Raise the fucking flag - the good ship DWT is back and ready to provide for its crew.
If you play; play safe. DRS20 as always people.
Frustration at the amount won, is better than the heartache at the amount lost.
submitted by Dad1903 to DadsWeeklyTreble [link] [comments]

Your 2020 Season Survival Guide and R/Baseball Refresher!

Before we dive in, if you want to participate in the annual Call Your Shot season predictions contest, you can find it here.
It's FINALLY coming! Welcome to the 2020 MLB Season! We are so glad you are here. Don't let the length of this post scare you, we just wanted to consolidate all the relevant information that people have questions about into one place to start the season off. This is your survival guide for the 2020 season, it should have all the pertinent information to answer most of your questions!
If you are a brand new fan I'd recommend going through most of it, if you're a veteran you'll know which sections you'll want to read by their headings. My goal here is that both new and returning fans can learn how to better enjoy the season and know what's going on on Baseball this year. Okay, take some time and read through what you want to read through below!
This is the fourth year of doing this. Every year I go through the previous years comments to find things that should be added or corrected for the next edition, so if you have any great resources or information that you think would be beneficial to add, please comment it below!

Introduction for new and renewed interest fans.

Baseball normally has a long season. I don't just mean that in terms of time between opening day and the World Series (which can be considered long as it is), but also the 162 games played in 183 days, 18-20 times against the same 4 teams each. It can be daunting, and many people lose interest by "the dog days" of June and July. This year things are going to be a little different. With only 60 games on the schedule (assuming we make it through without a major clubhouse covid outbreak that cancels games versus that team) every game is going to matter about 3x as much as one in a normal regular season. Tensions will be high, but we might not feel it because there won't be that much crowd noise. THAT SAID - they're still playing 60 games in 66 days, which means almost every day for the next two months isn't just packed with baseball, they're packed with YOUR FAVORITE TEAMS baseball, which while exciting after months without any American sports in the regular season (MLS - a tournament is not the regular season) can end up feeling overwhelming when you just finished watching a late game go into extras then wake up to realize there's an afternoon game on in six hours.
This guide is meant to help you if you wish to avoid being one of those who feels overwhelmed and loses interest a couple weeks after Opening Day.
First and foremost if you are a new fan or newly returning, you must remember one thing: you do not need to watch every game. Many football fans, and even some basketball and hockey fans, find this difficult, they're used to setting aside a few nights a week to watch their team, and they can watch all the games. Baseball isn't like that. For the next two months, your team will only have 6 days where they won't be playing a game. And some of the games they play will start as early as 9:20am (Pacific Time), others will end after 1am (Eastern Time). If you miss a game it's okay, odds are there's another one tomorrow. If you miss a week, no big deal, hell if you get busy for a few months and aren't able to watch you team, that's not an issue, because you can still follow your team.
Baseball is a game to be followed. In the old days it meant picking up the morning paper and checking the box scores. Now it means being able to have a final score texted/tweeted/messaged/emailed/what-evered to you the minute the game ends, or rolling over in bed when you can't sleep and grabbing your phone to check the West Coast scores. It means being able to check reddit in the morning to see any breaking news from across the league, or catch a story you missed. We live in a time where you can go to and get a recap of every game from last night in less than 10 minutes. Honestly, baseball was made to be consumed, and the technology age makes it easier than ever, whether you want to spend hours every day pouring over stats and analysis, or 15 seconds to see how your team and their playoff rivals did today.
The rest of this guide is mostly dedicated to ways that you can help yourself follow your team, and if you have time follow the entirety of MLB.
Anyways, enough rambling, TL;DR Don't worry if you miss games, there'll be one tomorrow.

Rule Changes for 2020

For this season only (or so they say...):
  • The NL will utilize the DH full time.
  • In extra innings the person in the batting order immediately before the lead off hitter will start on second base.
  • Games suspended due to rain will continue play at a later date rather than be washed out and restarted.
  • Arguing within six feet of an umpire or participating in a fight will be met with heftier fines and suspensions this yaer.
  • Pitchers will be allowed a wet rag to be brought out from the dugout in lieu of being able to lick their fingers for better grip.
  • Each team has a 20 extra players in their "taxi squad" in addition to their active roster and 40-man roster.
  • Active rosters will start at 30 players, then will be cut to 28 after two weeks, then 26 after four weeks.
  • Spitting is not allowed.
  • Non-social distanced celebrations are not allowed.
Permanent (as any rule change can be in baseball) rule changes for 2020 and beyond:
  • Three batter minimum - pitcher entering the game must face a minimum of three batters unless they complete an inning.
  • The MLB Active Roster is expanded from 25 players to 26 players.

Finding a Team

I always recommend following the local team since you'll have more access to news about them in the local media and should be able to get their radio broadcast, as well as TV broadcasts of them if you have cable/satellite/streaming, and depending on where you're at the occasional over the air game, but if you don't live by a team or don't want to follow the local team, or are just looking for a second team to follow, I wrote this in depth guide to picking a team that's the right fit for you.

Knowing Where Different Teams Stand

Every year ESPN, Sports Illustrated, FOX, NBS, and every other sports related site puts out their season previews. These are great for getting a basic rundown of what is going on with each team, and a simple google search will bring up a plethora of possible articles to read.
If what you really want is a fans perspective on what each team's expectations condensed into a few short comments, I'd highly recommend going through each teams day from our annual "Why will X team exceed expectations?" series. All the previous posts are linked in the Astros thread.


Alright, so plugging baseball on baseball seems a bit redundant, but I think it's a good reminder that this is a great hub for all your MLB news throughout the season while still letting you see the occasional amazing college/minor league/foreign league performance.
During the season there are a number of features to keep you informed of all the goings on around baseball.
Every day of the season (and a portion of the offseason) we have General Discussion threads we call Around the Horn. These are great places to ask questions and discuss anything that you want to know about baseball but don't feel like it deserves it's own post. In the Around the Horn post you'll be able to see a full schedule of what is going on around Baseball every week.
Here are the weekly features:
Daily: Nightly Pick'Em - A six year running contest to pick the result of one game every day. Details can be found in this thread.
Monday: Power Rankings - A team of 30 fans from every team in baseball, led by masochist fearless leader kasutori_jack, releases their composite power rankings of the 30 teams. This leads to well thought out discussions and some in depth analysis, as well as salty fans crying about how their team is underrated (there may be more of the latter than the former, but it's still a great way to keep your finger on the pulse of how every team is doing).
Monday (Unofficial) - The last few years thekmanpwnudwn has posted a State of the Subreddits post that gives the top post from each team's subreddit from the last week. This is a great roundup post for staying up to date on what all the different team fandoms are feeling, and helps you catch any milestones you might have otherwise missed.
Tuesday: Weekly Awards - Led by lemcoe9 a different team of a fan from every team releases the results of their weekly (and monthly) voting for who the best position player and pitcher was since the last vote was taken. Once again, a great way to keep track of which players are on hot streaks, and who's dominating the league.
Wednesday: Wild Card Wednesday - Each week a new contest, trivia game, or just out of the box fun thread will be stickied! Got an idea? Let the mods know!
Thursdays: Division Discussions - We rotate between the Easts, Centrals, and Wests to do some more in depth talk about where the playoff races and teams stand. If you only have time for one baseball thread every week and want to keep up with the league, this is the thread to set aside time for.
Saturday: Saturday is when we usually plug in occasional things that don't necessarily deserve weekly attention. Things like in depth stat discussions, memorobilia sharing, craft projects, etc.
Sunday: Game of the Week - Sunday is the one day a week where we get together as a subreddit to watch a baseball game together, since it's the one time every week where there's only one game going on and there's guaranteed to be a game. The Sunday Night Baseball game thread is usually posted a couple hours before the first pitch.
In addition the playoffs, and select premier match-ups (mostly at the very end of the season where there is a lot riding on a regular season game) we host game threads for all baseball users. These are neutral thread, for more info on less neutral ones skip to the next section. We may experiment with game threads in baseball for the Free Game of the Day this year.
In addition to all these features, it really is a great place to keep up with breaking news and highlights. It'll be posted here minutes after someone tweets it, and long before it's on Team beat writers get the stories first, and it's easier to check in here a couple times a day than follow every one of them. Plus there's something the kids are calling "dank memes" (but not too many, because us mods don't allow too much moisture to get into the servers).

Your Team's Subreddit (And other team subs as well)

The mods at baseball have one goal - help you have the best possible reddit baseball experience, and a LOT of that is helping you get connected to other fans of your team (which feels a little like a cop-out because it means less work for us if you're doing more on your team's sub, but your team's mods aren't complaining.)
One of the main draws of team subs (other than in depth discussion with like-fan-minded users, getting breaking news and analysis on your team, team-memes, and other reddit discussions that come up from a group of individuals who can agree on one thing) are game threads. At this time (to the best of my knowledge) every team sub hosts game threads for their team's games, and you can easily access them in the sidebar during the season by clicking on the team's logo in the schedule (we're working on getting that up to speed, MLB changed some parts of their RSS and background data and we've had to work around that to get our automated system back up). We like to keep the game threads in team subs for a few reasons, one of which is we want to support the team subs and send them relevant traffic when we can because they really do an amazing job, another is because with 15 games a day this place would look like crap if we had game threads for every game or let users post them as they please (we've tried it, it blots out news, discussion, and highlights and looks like crap, baseball doesn't have only a couple days set aside for games or focus on marquee match ups like many other sports, it's 2430 games played in 183 days and is better when it's spread out.)
Even if you're not a game thread person though, getting connected with a good team sub can make disappointing seasons more bearable, and great seasons more exciting, and I know plenty of users that said that their team's sub basically keeps them fans. Team subs are also a great place to get connected to...

Twitter, Podcasts, and other General News/Analysis Sources

Going to be honest here, I don't use twitter and I do not frequently read other people's blogs. I know many people do and enjoy it, and I believe the best way to find the people to follow/sites to visit that interest you the most are to hang around your team's sub and note which Tweets/Sites that are linked to that most often peak your interest. Your list of favorite baseball writers is going to be different than my favorite list, and finding the right twitter personalities, podcasts hosts, and bloggers can make game analysis more interesting for you even if your team is playing like crap and it's the middle of July.
Here are some common suggestions for some general baseball twitter accounts and podcasts to get you started, but like I said, find what you like and follow those:
Account Account Account
@MLB @Ken_Rosenthal @Buster_ESPN
@jonmorosi @mlbtraderumors @MiLB
@JeffPassan @MLBInjuryNews @BNightengale
@keithlaw @based_ball @SamMillerBB
@jonahkeri @BaseballAmerica @brooksbaseball
@BenLindbergh @ChrisCotillo @mike_petriello
@MJ_Baumann @FanRagSports @TheAthleticMLB
@fangraphs @baseballprospectus @baseball_ref
@daynperry @CBSSportsMLB @CespedesBBQ
@GrantBrisbee @JonHeyman @cantpitch
@MLBRosterMoves @darenw @extrabaggs
Account Account Account
Effectively Wild Baseball Tonight The Ringer

The Statistical Titans: Baseball Reference and Fangraphs

Literally every day you will find a link or to or here, it's a given, and it's because these are the two most extensive free baseball databases that are easy to navigate. If you want to look up anything about baseball history, check Baseball Reference, if you want to look up how players stack up with non-proprietary advanced metrics or read an insightful blog post about why someone is overrated/underrated or overperforming/underperforming, check Fangraphs. With these two sites you have all the stats and figures you need to make a competent argument for basically anything you want with a little cherry picking.
A large part of the modern baseball world is statistics and you're going to find yourself getting more immersed in discussing the game if you can get a handle on all the terms getting thrown around. If you are brand new to baseball, take a little while to get to know the game before diving into these sites, but if you have a handle on the basics and are ready to know what this WAR everyone is talking about is, dive into the glossaries and find the statistics.
When you get the basics, creating your own analysis doesn't seem as daunting, and one of the reasons I love baseball is that I can deconstruct pretty much every play and find some meaning behind it. If you are like that and enjoy numbers, theoretical projections, and breaking things down into simple figures before reconstructing them into something long and beautiful, then learning the basics of sabrmetrics will make you a baseball fan for life. If, on the other hand, you just want to enjoy the game for the beautiful pastime that it is by watching, then we've got a little bit to go through...

Where to Watch? - Your TV and Streaming Guide

So a big part of baseball is, you know, actually being able to watch the games (though as I talk about at the end, it might not necessarily be the case for you, and that doesn't mean you can't enjoy baseball, skip down and see what I'm talking about in the final section).
First off, if you are looking for free games to watch, you are in luck! streams one game a day for free on and These games are subject to local blackouts (details on those in the section) but are definitely worth watching if you're trying to see if you'll enjoy baseball, or just need a free baseball fix. Facebook is also streaming one game a week during the season for free. The other free games available are from May 18 to July 13 on Saturday night and Thursday nights in September when FOX airs games on their OTA affiliated networks. Believe it or not, TV antennas still work in most areas, and these games are free to watch. Some teams also broadcast select games on OTA networks in their region.
Okay, so now the more expensive stuff. If you have even the most basic cable package (or log in information) you probably have ESPN. ESPN airs games every Sunday Night as well as Wednesday Night and Opening Weekend. These games are also available on ESPN Go.
You also probably have a regional sports channel. This is where almost all of your local teams games will be aired. Here is a decent breakdown of every team and what network they are carried on.
TBS is also on even the most basic networks, they air games the final 13 Sundays of the regular season in the afternoon.
FS1 and FOX carry baseball games almost every Saturday of the season, and MLB Network carries games pretty much every day.
A list of currently scheduled national broadcasts is available here, not all games have been chosen so there will be more added to the list.
For all these networks (except for the Dodgers, Orioles, and Nationals regional networks) there are options to stream the games online provided you have cable login information for the channel. During the playoffs FS1, TBS, and MLB Network will carry most of the games, with ESPN carrying a wild card game and FOX carrying the World Series.
Now there are also streaming services that grant access to most of the previously mentioned channels:
  • Sling TV Orange package gets you ESPN, ESPN 2, and TBS.
  • Sling TV Blue package gets you FOX, FS1, FS2, TBS, and most regional sports networks.
  • Youtube TV gets you FOX, ESPN, ESPN 2, FS1, TBS, MLB Network, and some regional sports networks.
  • HULU Live gets you FOX, ESPN, ESPN 2, FS1, FS2, TBS, and your regional sports networks.
  • Playstation Vue Access gets you FOX, ESPN, ESPN 2, FS1, FS2, and TBS.
  • Playstation Vue Core adds MLB Network to the Access channels.
  • Playstation Vue Sports Extra adds regional sports networks in addition to your other channels.
  • AT&T TV Now Live a Little gets you FOX, ESPN, ESPN 2, FS1, and TBS and your regional sports networks.
  • AT&T TV Now Just Right adds MLB Network to the Live a Little channels.
  • AT&T TV Now Go Big adds FS2 to the Just Right channels.
  • FUBO Premier gets you FOX, FS1, and your regional sports networks
Also, ESPN+ will carry select games pretty much daily throughout the season.

MLB.TV - the Ultimate Fan Investment

Alright, so a few things to cover with this, first of all YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO LEGALLY STREAM IN MARKET GAMES IF YOU LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES. uses your IP address to see where you are located, and if it pings back that you are in a team's home market it will not let you watch the game LIVE. Here is where you can find what games will black you out from. National broadcasts on ESPN, FOX, and TBS are also subject to blackouts within the United States (MLB Network games are not). Before you ask, yes there are less than legal ways to get around this (spoofing your IP address, subreddit dedicated to mlb streams, etc.), but I won't be talking about those in detail here. IF YOU ARE OUTSIDE OF THE UNITED STATES AND CANADA, YOU WILL HAVE NO BLACKOUTS.
Even if you are blacked out, you will be able to watch the game 90 minutes after it finishes, so if you work a late shift or stay up late it might be worth it for you anyways even if you only want to follow one team.
Military members and college students, don't forget to apply your 35% discount!
"But I don't want to watch EVERY out of market game, I just want to watch MY team!" Cool, for $25 less there's a single team option that will allow you to watch all your team's non-blacked out games! Personally, I'd pay the extra $25 for the opportunity to watch every Kershaw, Bumgarner, and Scherzer start, or put the Cubs on in the background while working on a Friday afternoon, but to each their own.
"But I don't want to commit for a full year!" That's okay, there's a monthly option as well in case you know there are months where you can't watch as much.
Some of the fun features of include the ability to watch four games at once and quickly swap your audio from one to another (seriously, I'm never on commercial break when I'm watching baseball, unless there's only one game on I'm able to watch it all, and in September that's huge) and condensed games. What are condensed games? They go through and cut out all the time between pitches and innings, meaning if you want to watch a whole game in less than a half hour (or are searching desperately for a play to make a .gif or streamable out of that for some reason isn't considered a highlight) it's really easy. If you're someone who really wants to get into the game but can't figure out how to grind through watching a full game, Condensed Games are great for keeping up with a team while you learn the little details between pitches that somehow make watching the catcher twiddle his fingers exciting for some fans.
Also, new this year, MLB has added some great baseball documentaries to your subscription, giving you access to more than just games for the first time.
In addition, there are two great resources to enhance your total immersion into baseball if there are multiple games going on. Please note for both of these you must already be logged into to make them work. The first, and most basic, is Brooks Baseball's MLB.TV Redzone. It will automatically take you to the highest leverage game going on, and will automatically shift you to another game between innings OR if another game enters a higher leverage situation. For a more personalized touch, The Baseball Guage has MLB.TV Game Changer which lets you customize your preferences so will always switch to the game that is most relevant to you. This is great if you play fantasy and want to keep up with your players, are waiting for someone to hit a milestone, or if you want to make sure your action is broken into to follow a no-hitter in progress.
It also gives you a free subscription to...

MLB AtBat - The Most Underrated Way to Stay Connected to Baseball

MLB AtBat is MLB's official application. It comes in two versions, the free version which has ads but is useful for keeping up to date with all the scores, and the paid version ($19.99 for the year of $2.99 monthly) which gives you access to ad-free content, Gameday on your mobile device, and (most valuable) access to every team's radio stream for every game during the season and postseason completely blackout free. If there's a day game, you can bet I'm listening to it at work, if I'm mowing the lawn on a Saturday I'm listening to a game, when I can't sleep at night, on comes a West Coast game. To get the paid version you must download the free version, then subscribe within the app, or log into an MLB account that has
Baseball was made to be on the radio, it's a sport that is very easy to follow the action with the right announcer. At work (or school) it's great because you can half listen, and when the announcer gets excited you can instantly tune back in to hear what's going on. This is the most underrated way to stay connected to your team throughout the year. Before I could afford, this was the way to go, and it honestly makes me question every year whether getting the package is worth is when I can get 80% of the entertainment value from listening to the games (and every year I manage to forget to unsubscribe, for many reasons listed above).
Gameday on mobile is also a great feature, it lets you quickly check in on the action during brief recesses in meetings (or under the table during meetings), or breaks between classes (or under a desk in classes). This is honestly my primary means of keeping track of Twins games throughout the year. My wife thinks I'm crazy when I could just watch the game, but instead am nervously checking my phone every couple minutes. IF I WATCH I JINX THE TEAM, HONEY!

How to watch baseball?

So this is a question that we get from many new fans who are just trying to figure out what the hell is going on and why people find this game so fascinating. I'll get the elephant in the room out of the way, yes there are some "boring" parts of watching baseball on TV. The camera fans to a batter spitting and adjusting his gloves, the pitcher adjusts his crotch then licks his fingers, random shots of a bored looking manager, etc. When you are actually at the ballpark you can be watching where the catcher and fielders set up to try to predict the pitch that is coming (read The Hidden Language of Baseball by Paul Dickson for some great insight into how to interpret this), but on TV it's not usually the case. This is where I have some suggestions for new fans trying to get into it.
First off, if you are looking for just a relaxing day, embrace the slow pace with a beer and veg out on the couch while watching. It's meant to be slow and relaxing (until it gets tense and exciting, usually with runners on). Seriously, when was the last time you just sat and did nothing? Mid July afternoon games are a perfect way to reach that zen of half-consciousness, until something happens to get you sucked into the action.
Another option to stay engaged is keeping score. I find keeping score relaxing and looking back through a scorebook can be fun to see what you were doing a few years ago (except for that damn unfinished scorecard from 2015 where A-Rod hit the most predictable home run in Twins-Yankees history and I sent my scorecard flying to the other side of the room). As NPR once put it, keeping score is a knowledge making activity, and if you have the time and patience for it it is a great way to learn the game. There are a couple different guides to keeping score, and most scorebooks/cards will have a brief example of how to do so. If you have any questions, the Around the Horn thread is a great place to ask!
Gamethreads are another way to get together with other baseball fans and pass the time between pitches, especially in team subs you get to know the regulars and conversations start to wonder away from baseball at times throughout the game, and that's fine. Baseball is an excuse to enjoy a summer day.
For those that want to actually understand what is going on during that time, though, there are some options. Watching Baseball Smarter by Zack Hample (who despite his reputation on this subreddit knows some stuff and actually pops in from time to time to comment on different things) is a good starting place for new fans. Baseball for Dummies and The Complete Idiots Guide to Baseball are also good starting points for those willing to sit and read for a little bit.
For those who don't want to read a book, I guess I can touch on what I'm looking for between pitches. A big part of baseball is pitch selection, so scouting out a pitchers repertoire of pitches is a good starting point, has great cheat sheets on every pitcher in the game, and has a visual example of each pitcher's pitches so you can see what you can be looking for. Anyways, I mention that because the whole reason the catcher is twiddling his fingers behind the plate is to go over with the pitcher what pitch is going to be thrown. What I'm watching for between pitches is where the catcher is setting up behind the plate and guessing which pitch is going to be thrown. A 2-0 and 3-1 count are known as hitters counts because the pitcher needs to throw a strike or risk walking the batter, when the count reaches either of those pay attention, because the hitters going to be looking for his perfect pitch and there's probably going to be some action on the field. 0-1, 0-2, and 1-2 are pitcher's counts, look for curveball, slider or other somewhat nasty pitch to be thrown to get the batter to swing at a bad pitch, or a fastball inside to catch them off guard. If you have any questions about this, go ahead and ask in an around the horn thread.

Where to watch highlights and game recaps.

There are many many places to see highlights and game recaps, this is not an exhaustive list, but is a good start.
For highlights, bigger highlights will often be posed here on baseball a few minutes after they occur, if you wish to post them please familiarize yourself with the subreddit rules. They also appear relatively quickly on in each games Gameday area. For a pretty slick collection of highlights from across MLB, https://baseball.theate is a great place to exclusively watch highlights.
There are a few ways to get great game recaps. If you have MLB Network, every day Quick Pitch is an hour-long show that recaps every game from the previous day. It usually starts after MLB Tonight (about 10pm EDT) or whatever game MLB Network is showing finishes up, and runs until 10am EDT the next day. also puts out recaps of every game by the next morning, usually a 2-5 minutes quick rundown of highlights that can be found on the game recap. It also puts out Fastcast videos on youtube and their website every morning which has a brief rundown of all the games from the previous day. Here's an example of a Fastcast from two seasons ago.
If you want one concise place to see most of these, efitz11 was amazing last season and posted video links to every game recap and fastcast in the daily Around the Horn thread. Here's an example. I am unsure if they plan to continue it this year, but it would be surely appreciated!

TL;DR Finding what you enjoy about the game.

When it boils down to it, baseball is about finding entertainment and enjoyment, and don't let anyone try to tell you how to enjoy baseball. If you want nothing to do with statistical analysis and just want to enjoy what's going on on the field, don't let anyone tell you you aren't enough of a fan, and if you want to dissect a player into their strengths and components using statcast and advanced metrics don't let anyone tell you you're reading into the game too much. You can follow one team, and only one team, or you can follow multiple teams, don't let anyone tell you you're not a true fan for wearing another team's gear or enjoying their games. You might enjoy bat flips and flamboyance, or reserved speedy home run trots. You might not even enjoy physically watching a game (especially not if your team isn't playing), but find yourself loving keeping track of your team through the season and tracking your players or maybe just the thrill of the standings race and scoreboard watching or maybe you just love all the numbers that get thrown around and arguing about their relevancy. That's okay, eventually I believe enjoyment of the game itself will come, but even if it doesn't, the long baseball season is still creating a place of enjoyment for you, and that's what matters. If you have any questions, once again, feel free to ask them in our daily Around the Horn thread, or below in the comments, or if you really want to feel free to PM with questions and I'd be happy to answer.
So watch games this week and join in the discussion here, you'll naturally find yourself gravitating towards certain players or teams and enjoying different aspects of the game. Baseball is a long season, find what you enjoy, stick to it, dwell on it, and enjoy it.
TL;DR for the TL;DR - Baseball is fun
submitted by cardith_lorda to baseball [link] [comments]

I fixed our company fax machine. I wish I didn't.

I know what you’re thinking.
It’s 2020. Who the hell still uses fax machines?
You’re right obviously. There can’t be many people who are still using them in this day and age, but apparently, my office is one of them. They don’t actually use it of course , but it sits there in the printing room, unplugged and gathering dust. For some reason, nobody ever dared throw it away. My guess is that nobody from management ever took enough interest, or were worried one of the old guard would throw a hissy fit if it disappeared one day. I suppose it’s one of those relics people keep around “just in case”.
Whatever the reason, we’ve got one. And despite working in coding, whenever something electrical breaks in the office, I get asked if I can help fix it. (Here’s a life lesson - never show anyone at work you’re good with computers. Suddenly you’ll be working two jobs for the price of one.) Since I’m a sucker for a pretty woman, and too polite to say no, about four months ago when a pretty woman asked if I could fix the fax machine, you bet your ass I quit scrolling on reddit and headed to the printer room.
Turned out to be an easy fix - it was just out of ink. But, since pretty much all our cartridges are those rip off branded ones that only work with a specific printer, sourcing new ink meant I had to order some online. After searching the cubicles I finally found the girl to let her know it should be working in a couple of days. I was hoping for “My hero” and possibly a bit of light swooning, but she didn’t even look up from her phone and all I got was a “K, thanks”. She’d just been asked by her manager to do an inventory check and passed it down the line to me. Great.
This was back when Covid-19 was still just a rising trend on twitter, before the world went into full blown panic mode. Despite my best efforts to ignore current events, I still got sucked into the standard water cooler conversations that everyone was having, and I forgot all about the fax machine until the ink arrived the next week. Even after filling the fax machine up, one of its little lights was still flashing. The machine was so old, whatever symbol had been placed directly under the electric diodes had long since faded. Despite the missing symbols, I realised it was trying to print something but had no paper.
Ink and paper. Heroic fix, right?
The moment I loaded it with A4, this ancient little machine snatched the paper and began churning out page after page. It was that archaic nineties sound, when you could hear the ink plotter whirring back and forth. Just printing one page seemed to take almost a minute, but the pages soon piled up and just kept on coming. I supposed that even though the fax machine had been off all these years, it had just instantly resumed whatever print queue was still in its internal storage. If the fax number had been live all this time, it could well be processing every single file that had been sent to our company fax number since nineteen-ninety-whenever.
Looking down at the pages it had spat out, I could see how it ran out of ink. The pages were full black and white pictures. The resolution was terrible though. I hovered around for a minute, but this machine would not stop printing. Flicking through the images, I checked to see if someone had accidentally punched in too many zeroes when they chose how many copies to print, but each page was different. They all followed the same format though, a full black and white image, and a big number in the top right corner. I puzzled over it, trying to make patterns out of the numbers, but they were all over the place.
The images didn’t seem to form any sort of logical grouping either. They weren’t adverts or presentation materials. They didn’t look professional or creative. They were just random. People. Things. One was just a weird floaty ball thing; it looked like a space hopper, but for aliens. I let the pile of paper flop back down and scrolled on my phone. Eventually it would print everything, surely?
I was getting a little bit too distracted by the girls of ‘GoneMild’ when an abrupt halt to the fax machine’s endless whirring made me look up. It had finally stopped printing. When I moved closer to look, the light was flashing again. Out of ink....
Grumbling to myself, I headed to the supply cupboard to grab the bottle I’d bought. Luckily, I’d had to buy in bulk, so still had plenty left. Since the fax machine was running low on paper, I topped that up too. Knowing I couldn’t spend the whole day standing next to this fax machine looking at abundant cleavage, I scooped up the images, set them to one side and let the fax machine do its thing.
Just before I left for the day, I went to go check on it. It had stopped printing, but only because it had run out of ink. Again. Cursing whichever moron had sent an entire graphic novel collection to the fax machine twenty years ago, I tried to see if I could somehow clear the print queue, but the buttons didn’t do anything and there was no display panel, just lights that blinked when it needed something. There’s a joke about my ex-girlfriend there somewhere, but let’s not go there.
Figuring maybe it would finish overnight, I moved the fresh stack of printed pictures - still just numbers and images - next to the previous pile and reloaded the fax machine with ink and paper. It dutifully resumed whirring and spitting out new images.
It wasn’t a surprise the next day to find that the fax machine’s thirst for ink (and my time) had not yet been quenched. It almost seemed proud of its new collection of prints, and I quickly flicked through to see if this pile was any different, but it was just as nonsensical and bizarre as the rest. I could - and probably should - have left it. But I was curious to see how much longer this queue would last before I reached the end. Without sitting there and counting them, there must have been easily three hundred pages of weird images. How many more could there be? Besides, the ink I’d bought wouldn’t be compatible with any of the other printers our company owned, so I might as well use it. I topped up the machine again and left it humming and chewing through a fresh pack of A4.
Halfway through the day, there was a knock at my office door, and an extremely pissed off woman from upper management asked me what the hell I was printing on company time. She practically dragged me to the printing room, whilst I did a less-than-spectacular attempt at explaining the situation.
“Look at this!” she said, gesturing wildly at the fax machine. The light was blinking again, as if to taunt me. On top of the fresh stack of paper was the number ‘84’, and an image of a man’s face, close up, clearly in pain. Agony might have been a better way to describe it. Even with the pixelated and crappy monotone quality of the printer, you could see the man’s facial muscles contorting, eyes clamped shut, teeth bared.
“I haven’t printed any of this,” I said quickly, holding up my hands, “this is just whatever is left from the last time it was on.”
“Even so, you can’t just leave them lying around,” she hissed, splaying the pages and pulling them out to show me. I’d just been looking for patterns, but she was searching for offensive images, and in the stack of hundreds, there were plenty to choose from. Images of fire and blood, people wearing sinister masks, dead bodies just lying in the street. When she pulled them out and lumped them together, it didn’t look good. “This is completely unacceptable! Get rid of them.”
She picked up the rest of the papers and dumped them in my hands. As she scrambled around, the only thing I could think to mutter was “it’s still not finished printing.”
“Just leave it,” she snapped, pulling out the plug and sticking the fax machine on its old dusty shelf, “it’s 2020, who still uses these things?”
She was right, of course. I’d known the only reason they’d wanted it turned on was for an inventory check. Nobody actually wanted to use it. But I guess programmers are naturally curious about how things work. Or I am, at least. I still wanted to see how deep this particular rabbit hole went, but it wasn’t worth losing my job over. I’d not really noticed how bad some of the images were. I turned the pages upside down as I walked back to my office, to avoid anyone else seeing them.
Hovering over the bin, I was half tempted to keep them. They were kind of cool, in a weird way. But what was I going to do with hundreds of random images and numbers? I dropped the whole stack into the bin, and forgot about it. I browsed reddit, and when my colleague came in we talked about how crazy this whole coronavirus thing was.
That was before the lockdown. We started working from home before the Government shut down the country. It’s been a weird few months - like living in a really boring movie - but I was actually kind of glad to get back to work. I’m a creature of routine, I guess.
Not everybody was as eager or as willing to go back to the office as I was, so the place was pretty deserted when I got to work. I did a little bit of catching up with the few faces I saw and knew, then sat down at my computer. No word of a lie, it actually had cobwebs on it. I grabbed some tissues from my drawer and wiped the screen, then as I slid across to throw it in the bin - I froze.
The papers from the fax machine. In all the lockdown craziness, I’d forgotten all about them, but even the cleaners had been sent home when it all kicked off. The papers were still in my bin. The top page was still the one that I'd been yelled at for. The pained face, twisted in an excruciating grimace. Only there was a difference now that made the skin on my arms tingle.
I recognised the face.
The whole world recognised that face now. On a four month old piece of paper, printed in monotone black, was George Floyd.
When I’d first seen this image, I had no idea who he was. It wasn’t the face the TV was showing though; the normal photo of him looking into the camera, alive and well. It was the face that you had to go on internet videos to see. Pinned down. Knee on his neck. Dying.
For a moment, me and George just stared at each other. Then I reached down and slowly pulled all the papers out of the bin, shaking my head. Was I remembering things wrong? Had George died before lockdown? Even if he had, why was a fax machine printing pictures of his death? I pulled up google, and checked. George Floyd died May 25th 2020. We left the office the first week of March.
I just sat there, slowly spinning in my chair, completely unable to process the image in front of me. Then I remembered there were hundreds more pages underneath. Scattering them around the table, my mouth hung open as I began to recognise things I didn’t know the last time I saw them.
The weird blob that had just looked like an alien space hopper, my eyes now instantly saw it was the coronavirus, viewed under a microscope. If I’d have been paying more attention at the time, I’d have probably known. There were riots and protests, a police officer with bullet wounds in his chest, a black teenager hung in a noose, the dead bodies in the street were wearing face masks. A shiver wrapped its way around my entire body as cold realisation spilled over me. Only a few images made any sense to me, but every single one had happened after it had been printed.
It couldn’t be right. Someone must have changed the pictures. They were so low quality, I must just be seeing things. I snatched the picture of George up. It was him. There was no denying it. It was him. My eyes flicked to the ‘84’ at the top right corner. Should I put them in order? I slid the papers around, searching for an ‘83’ or ‘85’, then I paused. He died almost three months after this was printed…
Pulling up the calendar on my computer, I started counting backwards from May 25th. As my finger moved closer and closer to the week we’d left the office, I forced myself to count out loud, but each number just came out in a strangled whisper.
“Eighty-one, eighty-two, eighty-three…”
My finger pointed to March 3rd and fell away. I couldn’t physically say the number. But it was the same as the one printed in black above George Floyd’s final moments. Casting my mind back, I tried desperately to remember what day I printed off these pages. I knew I got the ink delivery on a Monday, and I was printing for one more day before I got told to stop.
March 3rd was a Tuesday.
The fax machine hadn’t just printed the future. It had told me how many days until it happened. As if it had been trying to warn me.
In that moment, I became extremely aware of how cold it was in my office, and how quiet. My hands slid by themselves to the pile of papers, rummaging around until I could find another to verify. All the rioters were too vague; I needed something more specific. At first I passed straight over an image of Big Ben and empty London streets, but then I realised that it could represent the UK going into lockdown. Only when I pulled out the paper did I see the number.
I couldn’t remember exactly how many days had passed between printing and lockdown, but somehow that seemed a little high. Maybe my day theory was just a coincidence with George. Still, here I was surrounded by hundreds of images that the fax machine had somehow known would happen before they did. I was just about to go and check the machine was still in the printing room, when my eyes landed on a page that made me pause.
It showed a man in an untucked shirt and jeans carrying a large box. One that looked a lot like the fax machine. And the man looked a lot like me, even down to the clothes I was wearing.
Despite the cold air, I was starting to sweat. Both my arms were trembling with faint shivers, and I puffed out a deep lungful of air, half to hear something familiar and natural, half to break the silence that was digging under my skin. I ignored the man who looked like me as best I could, and concentrated on the number. 128. Frowning, I turned back to the calendar and counted the days. One hundred and twenty eight days from March 3rd would be tomorrow. So, tomorrow I’d grab the fax machine? In the clothes I was wearing today? If I’d not seen the image, I would have gone to grab it and bring it into the office right now. Looking back at the picture, it was impossible to tell where I was going or even where I was. The background might as well have been a snowstorm for all the grainy blots and faded ink.
Why was it printing pictures of me, or at least, someone who looked like me? And why such a mundane event? Fighting the urge to rip that page into little pieces, I decided to go to the printing room and see if the fax machine was still there. Weirdly, I was sort of relieved when I saw it was. Maybe I was worried someone might have taken it, and the mystery would be over. Raiding the supply cupboard for the remaining bottle of ink, I scooped the fax machine up in one arm and headed back to the office. I didn’t want to hold it like the man in the picture was, but because of its awkward shape and weight, I ended up doing exactly that.
Placing it down on my desk, I unravelled the cord and plugged the fax machine in, topping it up with ink and paper. Almost immediately, it resumed screeching and chewing through the paper. Mind racing, I looked at all the printed images and numbers, spread chaotically all over my desk. Snatching up the image that looked like me, I clutched it in both hands and stared at it so hard, my eyes must have been close to boring holes right through it. It didn’t look like me. It was me. There was no denying it. Desperately glancing back and forth at the number and my calendar, I realised that most of these pages had been printed on Monday 2nd March, not Tuesday 3rd of March. By searching through them like a frantic idiot, I’d mixed them all up. If this one of me had been printed on the Monday, the number was accurate. 128 days until it had come true. The machine had predicted exactly what I’d do, and even though I saw the image, I still did it.
I threw up into the bin.
Some part of my brain had still been holding onto the possibility that somebody was messing with me, but the page clutched in my shaking hands was proof that this was something else entirely. The fax machine was printing the future. Hundreds of pages of events that happened after they were printed.
I threw up again, dry heaving until there was nothing left in my stomach.
Wiping my mouth, I screwed up the image of myself and the fax machine and tossed it in the bin. It wasn’t like the others, and I had to wrestle with myself not to grab a lighter and set the thing on fire. George Floyd and the others had been creepy. The image with me in it - that I’d literally just fulfilled - took my soul and shook it. I was sweating so much I began to stain the other papers as I ruffled through them. All the images I recognised seemed significant for one reason or another. The kind of events that history would document. How was I included?
Fumbling through my colleague’s drawers, I found what I was looking for. His cigarettes. I normally only smoke when I’m drunk, but needed something to stop my brain racing. As I lit it and took a deep drag of hot vapourised tar, I dimly realised I’d never had a cigarette sober, and there was a reason for that. Puffing out thick plumes of foul tasting smoke and biting down a cough, I searched through the other images. How many had happened? How many were still to come? Were there any that were wrong? Since I’d already messed up the divide between Monday and Tuesday, I decided to take out the ones I knew had happened.
It helped a little bit, and stacked together I could see my theory about the numbers equalling days needed some refinement. Images of the riots following George’s death had all sorts of digits on, ranging from 2.6 to 7862027. Since I knew they’d definitely happened, I played around with the numbers a bit, and realised that if I treated the big numbers as seconds or minutes, they would fit the timeline much better. The small numbers generally worked out as months or weeks. Except for some that I could tell were actually days. It didn’t take long for my head to start hurting, and I didn’t think it was the cigarette.
So the image showed what would happen, and the number referred to when, in varying time formats. I was trying to think how I could organise the remaining images when the fax machine stopped printing. Out of ink again. God dammit.
The top page was just money on a counter, and I noticed something that had eluded me on the other images. The fax machine didn’t print text. Other than the number in the corner, there were no letters or symbols of any kind on the image itself. The bank notes were blank, with Queen Elizabeth’s face the defining feature that let me know it was currency. The top left number on this one was very small. 0.0329
Placing the stack neatly on my colleagues desk - I did not want to mix these up with the others - I reached for the bottle of ink and my heart sank. It was practically empty, with only a few dribbles of black ink at the bottom. Immediately, I jumped online to buy more.
With delivery times, I’d likely have to wait a couple of days to print more of the future. I bit off a laugh. What was I thinking? I couldn’t just sit on this, this was more important than some office schmuck waiting for a parcel. I needed to tell someone. The government needed this, or the UN or something. Someone who wasn’t me.
Pouring the last remnants of ink into the fax machine, I took out my phone. Who to call? My boss? The police? My local councillor? My fingers hovered over the numbers, wondering how I’d prove it. All my proof had already happened. Only that angry upper management woman had seen them beforehand, and she didn’t exactly seem like someone who I could get easily get on board. I didn’t even know her name.
Paralysed, I looked back at the papers, as if they might help me. The one with the money. That was a small number. It should be happening soon. The currency was British. That meant I’d got both space and time within at least some close proximity. But what did it mean? Money on a counter. That could be anything. Everybody in the country had money. I could reach into my wallet right now and put money on the-
I took out my wallet and opened it up. Two fivers and a twenty. Comparing the size and the pictures didn’t take long to see that the image showed the same. There were coins on the counter too. I unzipped my wallet and began to dig out my coins. I had four, and the image only had three. Relief washed over me as I figured it was likely just an extreme coincidence. Then, as I pulled out the coins to check closer, one slipped from my fingers and clattered to the floor, bouncing and rolling away. I lurched after it, but it disappeared underneath a filing cabinet.
Cursing, I examined my remaining coins. They were identical to those in the image. The one under the filing cabinet wasn’t there. This was my money.
The fax machine sputtered to a stop and I leapt out my chair, half in shock, half spurred to action. It was my money in the picture. The fax machine was predicting what I’d do again. I placed my money on the table and stepped back, waiting for something to happen. Nothing did, of course. I even tried rearranging it, to closer match the image. Nothing.
Looking at the fresh papers, it hadn’t even finished printing the latest one. It was still half stuck in the machine. I carefully pulled it out, and my blood went cold. At the bottom of a set of stairs, was a tangled heap of limbs. The face hadn’t been printed yet, but I recognised the untucked shirt. The trainers too, I recognised, even underneath the blood. And tauntingly, just on the edge of the image, was the fax machine.
This was me. Dead.
Swallowing, I became painfully aware of the number printed above the image. 6.
Six? Six what, days? Years? Minutes? Seconds?
If I’d had anything left to vomit, it would have come out. I needed to get out of here. I needed to take this machine and prove it was real to someone else or smash it to bits and throw it in a river or burn it or -
Forcing myself to take long, deep breaths, I studied the image. What if seeing this image made me panic and leave with the fax machine? What if, in my blind panic, I slipped on the stairs, and that’s what made the image come true?
Calming down a little, I realised I could just wait. There were no stairs in my office. If I just didn’t leave for a little bit longer, that ruled out seconds and minutes. I still had seven hours of my shift left, so I could rule out hours too. That just left days, weeks, months and years to worry about, right? And I could worry about them later.
So I sat still for a few minutes, sickly smile growing on my face. After what could well have been six minutes, one of the lights on the fax machine lit up, blinking red. That particular LED had never lit up before, and I found myself wishing I could have some idea what symbol would have been underneath it.
I decided it was because I’d beaten it. I’d not followed the future it had predicted for me, and so it wasn’t happy. Jokingly, I fed the paper back to it.
“Want this back?” I said out loud with a smile.
My smile shattered when the fax machine took it. It snatched the paper out my hand and garbled it in reverse, spitting out a clean white paper back into the feed tray. There was the briefest pause, and then it began printing again.
Once more, it ran out of ink before finishing, and the image came out incomplete. It was almost identical. A mangled body wearing my clothes, blood covered pages scattered all around, and a fax machine lying on its side. Instead of stairs, skid marks of a tyre ran underneath the pages and my body.. My face hadn’t printed this time either, and the number 0.00476 hung ominously above me.
Part of me wanted to immediately run the numbers, to see how long I had to avoid roads to stop this becoming true. But part of me knew the truth. The similarity of the images was too striking. The exact same prediction, just a different cause in a different place. Same death, just slightly later. The fax machine was apparently convinced this was my destiny.
On my computer, I closed the calculator and opened a Word document. This Word document. In a moment I’ll save it and email it to you. Please note the timestamp.
I’ve managed to push back my destiny once. The fax machine has shown me what to avoid and roughly how long for. The blinking red light even tells me when it’s safe. I’ve got a few strategies to survive, but this is my failsafe in case I’m wrong. It’s not like I can stay in this office forever. The pictures are important, and I’m amongst them, which means my actions are important.
I can’t sit in my office hiding away, whilst the literal future of humanity sits in my hands.
I’m going to get more ink.
[ error code 54 ] (846)
[ highlighted for retrieval and clean up ]
submitted by RyanHatesMilk to nosleep [link] [comments]

MATCH ATTAX 2017- MAN OF THE MATCH PREDICTIONS! Andre CARRILLO (Peru) - Man of the Match - MATCH 38 Emil FORSBERG - Man of the Match - MATCH 55 Eden Hazard - Man of the Match - MATCH 63 Man of the Match, England’s Tom Banton, commented on the Qalandars performance

A 39-year-old man allegedly involved in a cricket betting racket has been arrested from the BSF colony and Rs 1.23 crore cash seized from him, police said on Sunday. Jayson Braddock and Patrick Creighton got into a crazy shouting match on 97.5 ESPN Houston that led to producer cutting audio "Do the show, bitch!" ESPN Local Networks By Matt Clapp on 09/16/2020 ... A case has been registered against three persons in Maharashtra's Palghar district for allegedly betting on Indian Premier League matches, police said on Wednesday. Acting on a tip-off, the police nabbed medical store owner Jinesh Punamiya, who was betting on a IPL match on Tuesday night, Palghar police PRO Sachin Navadkar said. Lancashire Lightning to win: Lancashire Lightning can be backed at 1.57 to beat Yorkshire Vikings with Bet365.; Lancashire Lightning top team batsman: Liam Livingstone is back and, having had a couple of games to properly find his feet again, he is 3.50 to be their top team batsman in this game.With Keaton Jennings ruled out, Alex Davies is 3.75 to be Lancashire’s top team batsman with ... Match-fixing investigation opened at French Open. First round of women’s doubles match in Paris in question after reports of suspicious betting patterns.

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Man of the Match, England’s Tom Banton, commented on the Qalandars performance ... live streaming, betting tips and match predictions, photos and cricket videos, cricket tv and scorecards ... Man of the Match, Andre Fletcher, comments on his batting performance against Team Abu Dhabi ... live streaming, betting tips and match predictions, photos and cricket videos, cricket tv and ... Find out where to watch live: More match highlights: More from Rus... CLICK CC FOR SUBTITLES Find out where to watch live: More match highlights: Click CC for subtitles. Find out where to watch live: More match highlights: