What are Gender Pronouns? Why Do They Matter? Office of ...
What are Gender Pronouns? Why Do They Matter? Office of ...
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Gender Pronouns LGBT Resource Center
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United Airlines first airline to introduce non-binary gender option on bookings, customers can select M (male), F (female), U (undisclosed) or X (unspecified), the profoundly proud airline will train its staff on preferred pronouns, LGBT workplace competency and other inclusivity initiatives,
I’m in the middle of filling out grad school applications and I’m currently filling out one that asks what I identify as and I’m so happy because they provide SO many options and it just feel really inclusive. But I just feel hesitant to put non-binary or gender queer because I don’t know if I really nonbinary. I’ve never really known how I’ve felt about gender in general, especially my own. I’ve just been apathetic towards it so recently (within the past year or so) I’ve been slowly thinking of myself as non-binary. I’m AFAB and I’m going by she/they but I honestly also wouldn’t really care if people used “he” either. But I don’t necessarily reject the idea of being a girl? I’m not against it but I just don’t care about it? Sorry if this seems all over the place I’m just confused I guess. I just don’t want to be a cis person invading the space of enby folks and appropriating terms that don’t apply to me. Any advice or opinions would be really appreciated.
I just started learning german in school. I've wanted to learn it for a while now but i never realized it was gendered the same way as russian. I really like the language but it causes me an unreasonable amoubt of dysphoria. So German speakers, is there and alternative to er and sie like there is they in english?
What should I say my pronouns are if I genuinely don’t care?
I was born a woman, but I have no particular inclination to identifying as a woman. I don’t care if someone refers to me as He/They/She. I wouldn’t consider myself non-binary because that would mean I don’t identify with any pronouns but it’s more like I identify with.. any of them? Sometimes I feel more masculine, other times feminine, and sometimes neutral, but even then I wouldn’t be bothered if someone referred to me as Him when I was feeling neutral or anything like that. I feel like identifying as gender fluid also is wrong because that tends to be exclusively They/Ze and I don’t think that properly sums me up. How can I let people know that I not only identify as She, but He/They as well? And how can I encourage them to explore trying different pronouns with me especially after just going by She for so long? Is this also considered being gender fluid or something else? Thanks for any help I really appreciate it!
I'm a nonbinary researcher and I am curious the most inclusive way to ask gender?
I am an engineering education grad student that focuses on assessment- so currently I write surveys. I am trying to figure out the best way to ask gender. My professor has ... What is your gender? Multiple choice: male, female, trans man, trans woman, gender nonconforming, othedo not wish to disclose I have What is your gender? Multiple choice: male, female, trans man, trans woman, nonbinary, othedo not wish to disclose I was thinking as an alternative... What is your gender? Check all that apply: male, female, transgender, nonbinary, othedo not wish to disclose. Thoughts?
I think maybe quarantine is giving me too much time to think and fixate on things. Dysphoria and all the messiness surrounding my gender are getting me down today, and I thought maybe some folks here would be able to relate. I was considering the possibility of being FTM more seriously when I was in my twenties, but it never quite clicked enough for me to decide I was ready to start transitioning or trying to present as a guy. As chance would have it, by the time I finally had enough money and decent insurance to start thinking about top surgery, my dysphoria had gotten milder and I was starting to feel cautiously okay with my chest. Sometimes I still think I would prefer having a flat chest, and top surgery is still an option on the back burner, but I kind of like how my chest looks now in a way that I didn't when I was younger, so I decided to hold off. My dysphoria and identity have always been pretty fluid, and I have times where the idea of going on testosterone really doesn't appeal much. I've also realized over time that I like being perceived as a queer woman. I like it when lesbians are attracted to me, and I can identify with being a woman through a butch perspective. That's a part of my identity that I don't really want to give up. And I don't know that I really see myself as a man. But I also wish I could pass as a man better than I can. Today, I happened to see that someone at work (who hasn't met me in person) referred to me with male pronouns in an email, and it really excited me! When things like that happen, it makes me happy and I don't want the person to figure out that they were "wrong." I still get jealous of trans men sometimes. I'll have periods like right now where I like the idea of being seen as a guy more and wonder if I'm cheating myself by not transitioning. I think I've been more anxious about this lately because it feels like there's so much pressure to fit in a box. I feel like I have to choose between options a lot. I like using they/them pronouns, but I want women to know that I'm cool with them finding me attractive as a butch woman. I like seeing myself as a woman and don't really want to try to live as a man, but I do like it when people think I'm a man. It just feels so complicated sometimes, and I'm in my thirties, so I don't necessarily expect things to become much clearer. I started identifying as non-binary in my late teens, but I don't always relate to that anymore because I don't know that I see myself as being in a category that's separate from being a man or a woman. I do like the term genderfluid, but I feel like if I don't want to live as a man and transition, then I want to be able to embrace being a woman, and sometimes it feels like that isn't possible or isn't allowed. Can anyone relate to this?
My 12 y/o (AFAB) is asking to start on HRT. They first expressed in kindergarten/first grade as being female but bisexual. They had classmates with non traditional family units, so were aware of the many forms that families can consist of. Starting around fourth or fifth grade, they stated that they were non-binary. At that point, they would tell me each day which gender identity was felt so that they were addressed appropriately. About 6 months ago, they shared that they were solely male. They have chosen a new name and request he/him pronouns, but that they are also comfortable with they/them. In the last 3-4 weeks, they have begun asking to start testosterone. This is where my question lies. I don’t know where to start looking into this. Do we just talk to their pediatrician, or is there a specific type of doctor we would see to discuss our options? My child has been diagnosed as ADHD, generalized anxiety, and major depression. They were seeing a therapist but felt it wasn’t helpful. Partly, because they don’t like talking about themselves. They did say that if therapy is required in order to start on HRT that they would be willing to go back. They have already gone through female puberty and it has definitely increased the dysphoria. They are not currently interested in gender confirming surgery, just HRT. This process for us has been very fluid and developing over the years. I want to be very supportive of my child in whatever stage they are going through. I also believe in them being fully informed of all the positive as well as negative effects they may experience with HRT before they start. Can anyone guide us through how to proceed? What type of doctor to talk to? Anything you wish you knew before starting HRT or what we can expect? They are also super hesitant to come out openly at school for fear of rejection from classmates. Is it possible to start HRT and still keep it private until they are ready to fully share with everyone? They are saying that they want to use testosterone patches. Obviously we will follow medical advice on which product they recommend. Thank you all for your response! I’m very excited to have this resource to help in our journey.
Biological Sex There are two biological sexes: male and female. Intersex could be an option. Gender Identities The three basic gender identities are male, female, and non-binary. You can add your own custom gender. Gender Appearance You can change the gender appearance your para. You can make them look masculine, feminine, or gender-neutral/ambiguous Pronouns
[custom pronoun 1]
[custom pronoun 1]
[custom pronoun 1]
[custom pronoun 1]
Sexuality Sexuality Concept Slider by Moniito Sexuality Concept Slider 2 by Moniito Note: I think Miniito's concept should include include custom gender pronouns as romantic and sexual options. Love Interest- the subject of your interest(s) Gender symbols/pronouns- the subjects Heart- romantic attraction Heart and chili pepper- sexual attraction Polyamorous: being in multiple relationships New idea: You can turn on the fluid option to enable sexually fluid paras. Gender Options Get pregnant: yes/no Impregnate: yes/no Have period (if included): yes/no Pregnancy-related interactions When a female/-bodied para is pregnant, they can take a pregnancy test. If a female/-bodied para doesn't want to become pregnant, they can take birth control. However, alternative methods of preventing pregnancy is abstinence and condoms. Paras could also be fertile or infertile with a fertility slider. If a para is unable to have a child they could:
Take pregnancy test
to find out if pregnant or note
Take birth control
to prevent pregnancy
to prevent pregnancy
New idea: A para could give to multiple babies. This can happen naturally, with assisted reproductive technology, or IVF (in vitro fertilisation).
Thoughts and wonders on the possiblity? Of they/them pronouns
So with the articles now coming out about the first half hour of the game, I was wondering if their had been any mention of pronouns going about. Its really the only thing I've been worrying about. As a non-binary person who has a non-binary character, we both use they/them pronouns. Now I do have some doubts about it and that they will only include she, he pronouns because of well many reasons. I mean it has taken them till pocket camp, till now to actually add actual skin colours. I'm glad that we have the option of gender-free customization but after its all said and done I'd be dissapointed with having two options of pronouns, like they've gone this far to include gender-free options, why not just a little further. But who knows?¿? In the end if I have to choose one of two at least I'll be able to put he/him towards ky character seeing as the tired eyes I use for my character was previously locked in as feminine (I'm uncomfortable having she/her pronouns or feminine sayings towards me or my character really.) But I do wish they would step just a little further lol. I just really wanna know whats up and what have. Anyway what do you think? Will they add more pronouns, will they remove them and just have one soild one? Other questions inserted that I cannot think of currently? Update: 2/3 so we've see the character creator and the last page with the face paint it gives us the option to either choose a male character or female, so unfortunately in the end we are genderlocked into only two options for our characters. Now the good thing is is you can change at any time so it lets you be fluid with your character not locking them into one option. But I'm still lowkey sad that my character will only be refrenced to feminine terms or masc ones hm.
Since 1983, I have lived, worked and raised a family in a progressive, egalitarian, income-sharing intentional community (or commune) of 100 people in rural Virginia. AMA.
Hello Reddit! My name is Keenan Dakota, I have lived at Twin Oaks, an income-sharing, intentional community in rural Virginia for 36 years, since 1983. I grew up in northern Virginia, my parents worked in government. I went to George Mason University where I studied business management. I joined Twin Oaks when I was 23 because I lost faith in the underpinnings of capitalism and looking for a better model. I have stayed because over time capitalism hasn't looked any better, and its a great place to raise children. While at Twin Oaks, I raised two boys to adulthood, constructed several buildings, managed the building maintenance program, have managed some of the business lines at different times. Proof this is me. A younger photo of me at Twin Oaks.Here is a video interview of me about living at Twin Oaks.Photo of Twin Oaks members at the 50th anniversary. Some things that make life here different from the mainstream:
The labor system - all work is considered equal, whether you are earning income for the community or not. Cooking/cleaning counts the same as planning the annual budget. Also, you don't have to do the same job all week - your day can be a mix of indoor and outdoor work, you have freedom to arrange your day, and you can gain skills in a wide array of tasks and trades.
Non-gender binary, queer and trans people are very welcome at Twin Oaks. People introduce themselves with their pronouns and a significant number of our members go by they/them.
Verbal consent culture is very important here. It is not okay to touch anyone without asking.
Nudity and partial nudity is allowed in some parts of the farm, such as in the sauna, swimming hole, on the hiking trails, etc.
Our social norms prohibit using phones in common areas when other members are present, with the exception of a few cafe-style spaces.
Every day we provide a home-cooked, plant-based lunch and dinner with options for special diets including vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, and no onions & garlic.
Raising kids here is easier. Some of the time that parents spend raising their children counts towards their labor quota. Many of the kids are home-schooled or "unschooled", and they spend more time outside than in front of a screen. The kids have no problem passing the state's annual standardized test to move onto the next grade level.
We have a shared clothing resource called Commie Clothes, which is like a free thrift store. Borrow something and then return it dirty, and it gets washed and re-hung up.
More about Twin Oaks: Twin Oaks is an intentional community in rural central Virginia, made up of around 90 adult members and 15 children. Since the community's beginning in 1967, our way of life has reflected our values of cooperation, sharing, nonviolence, equality, and ecology. We do not have a group religion; our beliefs are diverse. We do not have a central leader; we govern ourselves by a form of democracy with responsibility shared among various managers, planners, and committees. We are self-supporting economically, and partly self-sufficient. We are income-sharing. Each member works 42 hours a week in the community's business and domestic areas. Each member receives housing, food, healthcare, and personal spending money from the community. We have open-slots and are accepting applications for new members. All prospective new members must participate in a three-week visitor program. Applicants to join must leave for 30 days after their visit while the community decides on their application. We offer a $5 tour on Saturdays of the property, starting in March. More info here. Ask me anything! TL;DR: Opted out of the rat-race and retired at 23 to live in the woods with a bunch of hippies. EDIT: Thanks for all the questions! If you want some photos of the farm, you can check out our instagram. EDIT2: I'm answering new, original questions again today. Sort by new and scroll through the trolls to see more of my responses. EDIT3: We DO have food with onion & garlic! At meals, there is the regular food, PLUS alternative options for vegan/vegetarian/no gluten/no onions & garlic. EDIT4: Some of you have been asking if we are a cult. No, we are not. We don't have a central leader or common religion. Here are characteristics of cults, FYI. Edit: Yikes! Did I mention that I am 60? Reddit is not my native land. I don't understand the hostile, angry and seemingly deliberately obtuse comments on here. And Soooo many people! Anyway, to the angry crowd: Twin Oaks poses no threat to anyone, we are 100 people out of a country of 330 million? Twin Oaks reached its current maximum population about 25 years ago, so not growing fast, or at all. Members come and go from Twin Oaks. There are, my guess is, 800 ex-members of Twin Oaks, so we aren't holding on to everyone who joins—certainly, no one is held against their will. Twin Oaks is in rural Virginia, but we really aren't insular, isolated, gated or scared of the mainstream culture. We have scheduled tours of the whole property. Local government officials, like building inspectors, come to Twin Oaks with some frequency. People at Twin Oaks like to travel and manage to do so. I personally, know lots of people in the area, I am also a runner, so I leave the property probably every day. There are lots of news stories about Twin Oaks over the years. If you are worried about Twin Oaks, maybe you could go read what the mainstream (and alternative) media have to say. Except about equality Twin Oaks is not particularly dogmatic about anything. (I know some people at Twin Oaks will disagree with that statement.) Twin Oaks isn't really hypocritical about Capitalism, Socialism, or Communism, we just don't identify those concepts as something that we are trying to do. Twin Oaks is not trying to DO Communism, we are trying to live a good life with equally empowered citizens—which has led us to try to maintain economic parity among members. Communists also do that. In making decisions in the community I don't remember anyone trying to support or oppose an idea due to excess or insufficient Communism, Socialism, or Capitalism. In most practical senses those words aren't useful and don't mean anything. So, no need to hammer Twin Oaks for being insufficiently pure, or hypocritical. Twin Oaks is very similar to the Kibbutz in Israel. If anyone has concerns or questions about what would happen if places like Twin Oaks suddenly became much larger and more common, read about the history of the Kibbutz, which may have grown to possibly 1% of the population at their largest? There was and is no fight with Capitalism from the kibbutz—or with the State. My point is—not a threat. To the other people who think that the ideas of Twin Oaks are interesting, I want you to know it is possible to live at Twin Oaks (or places like Twin Oaks) and happily live ones entire life. There is no central, critical failing that makes the idea not work. And plenty of upside. But do lots of research first. Twin Oaks maintains a massive web site. (Anyway, it takes a long time to read.) But what I would like to see is more people starting more egalitarian, income-sharing communities. I think that there is a need for a community that is designed and built by families, and who also share income, and provide mutual support with labor and money. If you love this concept, maybe consider gathering together other people and starting your own. Ideologically speaking: -Ecology: the best response to ecological problems is for humans to use fewer resources. The easiest way to use fewer resources is to share resources. Living communally vastly cuts down on resource use without reducing quality of life. -Equality: ideologically speaking, most people accept the idea that all humans have equal rights, but most social structures operate in ways that are fundamentally unequal. If we truly believe in equality then we ought to be willing to put our bodies where our ideology is. In a truly equal world, the issues of sexism and racism and all other forms of discrimination would, essentially, not exist. -Democracy: Twin Oaks uses all manner of decision-making models and tools to try to include everyone and to keep people equally empowered. There is no useful word for this. We do use a majority vote sometimes, as a fallback. But sometimes we use consensus. We sometimes use sociocracy (dynamic governance). The word "Isocracy" (decision-making among equals), would be useful to describe Twin Oaks' decision-making model, but Lev in Australia has written an incomprehensible "definition" on Wikipedia, that he keeps changing back when someone corrects it. -Happiness: The overarching goal of all ideologies is to make people happy, right? I mean, isn't it? Capitalism is based upon the belief that motivation is crucial to human aspiration and success (and therefore more happiness). Under Capitalism, equality is a detriment because it hinders motivation (less fear of failure, or striving for success). Twin Oaks believes that humans are happier when they are equal, and equally empowered. So the place to start up the ladder of happiness is to first make everyone equal. Well, Twin Oaks is mainly still working on that first step. EDIT5: Some have asked about videos - here are links to documentaries about Twin Oaks by BBC, VICE and RT.
My wife’s brother and his wife are visiting from out of state and we were hanging out drinking and my brother in law told the story of how he got an earring and his dad blew his top. My wife and his wife both said how it was a terrible example of toxic masculinity. I objected to the term, and they both immediately started talking over me and explaining it to me. I get there are toxic elements of gender roles. That expectations of what it is to be a ‘man’ can be harmful and pointless. Thats not the issue. The issue is that, if I identify as masculine, and I dont want you to use the phrase ‘toxic masculinity’, then you have two options: respect it, or say my feelings just dont matter. Trying to tell me something along the lines of ‘toxic masculinity doesnt mean masculinity is toxic, quit being so offended’ just doesnt wash for me. Replace ‘masculinity’ with any other gender, race, or ableness and youd never use that term in front of someone and have the audacity to explain to them that its only a ‘certain type’ of who they are that’s wrong. Not in a million years. Because its just gross, tbh. Now if you tell me ‘masculinity has screwed it up. Men are in power and its not right and theyve abdicated the right to be respected and honored and theyre kicked out of the equation. We’re moving on without you and we’ll just push you out of the way’, ok. I get that. But telling me toxic masculinity is not insulting masculinity and a gender identification, sorry. Just cant buy it. Anyway i f’d up and said that and it was dead silence and now somehow my relationships with these two women is altered forever. Tldr; I objected to the term ‘toxic masculinity’ as a gender slur and now my wife and sister in law despise and deride me. edit: a couple missed words, bad language Further edit: thanks this helped me realize ‘toxic masculinity’ is clear hate speech. There were some valiant attempts to gaslight me into hating myself for needing to defend my gender identity, and some attempts at rationalizing away the obvious, which didn’t hold up under scrutiny and were abandoned by all but the most dogmatic. I think we’ll look back at this term in 10 years with embarrassment. Edit 3: I think I’m going to propose the term “identity issue constellation” (bringing it back to Jung).. there are constellations of issues around identities. Can we tackle the issues while preserving the identities? Can we agree that one’s self identification is sacred, whether it be gender, sexuality, race or religion? And when issues are identified constellated around those identities can we talk about them without tearing down the identity itself? I think this is a framework for rich debate, growth and collaboration. So I suppose in the case of defining an issue as ‘toxic masculinity’, the more evolved term would be ‘a problem within the constellation of masculinity’. Then we could talk about whether its a problem of society or culture or privilege or oppression or language or an individual, and preserve the dignity and respect of a self-chosen identity. Because, of course, there are indeed problems at all those levels for literally every identity. In the end we have to decide whether people get to keep them while we talk about those problems, or whether they have to be torn down as integral to the debate. JP’s assertion that various non-binary pronouns be rejected would be an example of the latter, and I think its wrong and what has gotten people in the social justice community so hurt and angry. I think a much more useful approach would be to say ‘there are problems in the constellation of non-binary gender identification’, like, we have to update the survey questions to include 1,000 pronouns. That is a separate problem from ‘ridiculous non-binaryism’, which is just a sad and hurtful reduction.
Pronoun change and gender disclosure with ongoing clients
I'm a queer therapist who works primarily with trans and non-binary clients. I've been quietly exploring my own gender identity for a long time, which I obviously didn't share with my clients. I started using they/them pronouns about six months ago, and it feels right. That said, I don't feel upset when people refer to me as she/her. My appearance has become more masculine over time, but for now there are no physical changes. All of my clients have been seeing me for longer than I've been identifying as non-binary and using they/them pronouns, and I'm not sure if/when/how to tell them. I remember having a conversation early on with one of my trans clients about how it felt for her to be talking with a cis woman about gender issues. I have one cis client and my impulse is to not tell her because she's unlikely to find out independently, and unlikely to have any strong feelings about it if she did. With my trans/non-binary clients, the community is small enough that they might find out. We have friends of friends in common. I think it might feel bad to find out on their own that I'm non-binary, when I originally presented myself as cis. On the other hand, my own gender comes up rarely or not at all, and it feels like a potential distraction from the client's issues to bring up. I was thinking of just adding my pronouns into my email signature so they have the option to bring it up if they want. But maybe it would feel weird to be told indirectly rather than directly. Thoughts?
am i a demi girl or am i a cis girl who hates being a girl?
hi, so i think i need another perspective on this. i was born as female and all through my life i have been known as female (she, her), except online where i prefer she, they. i’ve always hated being a girl - for reasons such as the limitations (well according to my parents): can’t go places alone, can’t walk in the dark. but then there’s just the underlying hate of being a girl from no reason in particular. so i don’t know whether i am a cis female who just hates being female and wishes they weren’t, or something non-binary but still with attachments to being a girl; a demi girl. socially, i’d rather be referred to with they/them pronouns, but i don’t know whether that’s me just not wanting my gender influencing what someone would think of me, or if i don’t identify as strongly female. i still feel partially female but then also i feel partially nothing but i could just be faking it i don’t really know. i’m not dysphoric, i just hate being a girl and would rather be genderless. in situations where i have to disclose my gender (like questionaries, surveys) i always choose ‘prefer to not say’ and if there’s no option for that i’ll reluctantly pick female (although it feels somehow wrong) or get out of the situation entirely. if you could help me out that’d be really appreciated, i’ve never been good at labels.
How to tell if you're non-binary or gender non-conforming?
So, a bit of context here. I first came out to my parents and close friends as a trans girl around 2012, when I was 12 years old. I found myself not relating to other boys my age and as a kid would hope and pray to magically wake up as a girl. Well, that obviously never happened but when I found about the transgender label I knew it applied to me. When I first found about transgender people, I didn't know non-binary identities were a thing. The only representation of trans people that I had were strictly binary, MtF and FtM. I joined Tumblr around 2013-2014, and that was my first real exposure to non-binary genders and identities. Now, I'd love to be able to tell you that I was understanding and accepting from the start but that is not what happened. I initially was very skeptical of non-binary and fell into the same rhetoric that a lot of people unfortunately fall into. "Oh, they're not REALLY trans, they're just faking it for attention, they're making trans people look bad, etc." I had these views until around 2016 and it wasn't until I started making non-binary friends online that I begun to understand non-binary identities more. I still didn't fully grasp that some people truly were outside of the male-female binary though, and while I didn't call them attention seekers, I thought non-binary was a phase that trans people found themselves in before realizing they were MtF or FtM. I then started college in 2018 and made non-binary friends in person, and not just online. This changed my perspective a lot and made me finally realize that non-binary people were truly outside of the male-female binary or found themselves somewhere in between. And now it's 2020, I came out as trans 8 years ago and started HRT about a year and a half ago and here I am re-evaluating my own sense of gender and identity. When I was initially questioning my gender when I was 12, I had no idea that non-binary identities were an option and now that I do, I've sort of been questioning again. I feel at odds with how I want to present and how I want to be perceived. I would like to present pretty androgynously, maybe even slightly "masculine" sometimes, however I don't feel comfortable with the thought of being read as male whatsoever. I guess I'd describe my ideal presentation as "girl that kind of looks boyish but can still tell she's a girl". And if it stopped there, I'd be pretty certain that I was simply just a somewhat gender non-conforming trans woman. However, there's been other stuff that I've come to realize since then. I'm okay with certain masc terms being used for myself, I much prefer to "king" to "queen" (although that preference might be because of queen's heavily connotation with drag, and I absolutely do not want to be seen as a man in drag under any circumstances) and find myself being okay with being called boyfriend. Even he/him pronouns, when used by friends that I'm very close with, I'm okay with, although I'm not okay with people using they/them for me once they know me. tl;dr- I guess my main question is how to know the difference between wanting to present masc or androgynous or if you have a masculine side/part of your identity, whether that be manifested in demigirl, genderfluid, bigender, or something else entirely. Because I've had a really hard time trying to figure it out. EDIT: So after taking some of the advice given and also talking to non-binary friends of mine, I'm pretty sure I'm NOT non-binary just because that while I present a certain way, the important thing is that I always want to be *read* as female because well... that's what I am. I still really like the tomboy label and if I wanted to get more specific I'd say gender non-conforming woman but yeah, I'm a binary trans woman still and honestly feel more secure in that now that I've considered the possibility that I was non-binary.
Y’all I passed today!!! I live in a small conservative town so this whole thing was scary asf, but props to everyone in the store today! Context: I was working and helping a family of 7ish. The store was pretty packed, and everything was a bit hectic. I’m out to my fellow workers, and while I still get misgendered by them, they’re making a real effort and it’s appreciated. When I told my boss the first day I was terrified I’d be fired or bashed, luckily a bunch of people working here is also queer (just not out). But with customers I don’t bother correcting them if they call me by gender pronouns (like he/she) because I don’t want to be a victim of a ✨hate crime✨ Anyways, I was talking to the Mom and her 3 year old son stares me dead in the eyes. In the middle of my sentence he says very clearly, and VERY loudly “ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL” When I tell you the store went quiet.... I turned bright red, but passed my skill check ig because I didn’t skip a beat/ stop smiling and instead replied with “Thats a very direct question!” The kid asked again “are you a boy or a girl” and I realized he wasn’t going to let it go. I didn’t want to hit him with the “I’m both/ non-binary” because I wasn’t sure the mom would be okay with that. So I just froze and said “oh that’s a pretty complicated question” I got several looks from nearby customers and I swear on god I could feel embarrassment, shame, and fear rise in me so quickly. The kid then proceeded to start chant/yelling “are you a boy or a girl” in front of everyone LMAO The mom (realizing what was happening as she had gotten distracted) looked MORTIFIED and began to chastise him. She ended up putting a hand over his mouth XD and said “that’s rude!” and one of her daughters said “it’s doesn’t matter” Anyways, I politely disengaged and tried to take a breather. I both wanted to cry and laugh, so I picked the laugh option. When I saw the mom again she was polite to me, and the son began to ask me a hundred questions about other things so I figured his question earlier was just his inquisitive nature lol Anyways, I’m happy the mom and daughters didn’t try to push either option on me, and were very nice and polite to me. Another good thing is no other customer tried to bud in and give their two sense. Another good thing is I PASSED AS NEITHER OPTION! Both the little boy and mom didn’t know if I was fully a boy or a girl, and I’m so happy! I called my boyfriend and told him all about it and wanted to share with y’all Ik this probably isn’t the most interesting story you’ve read (if ya made it this far) but it was great for me and I wanted to share :D I’m at work and apologize for typos/grammar Tl;Dr: confused some child about my gender at work by not dressing masculine or feminine and he yelled/chanted “are you a boy or girl” in front of my entire work 💀 the mom came to my rescue
Hello. This has been on my mind for a while and I made a new account just to post and get some outside perspective. The tl;dr is that I am an afab person in a long-erm relationship with a trans woman, now starting to question my own gender identity and unsure how to broach this. I have been with my partner for 6 years, and we are both in our mid-30s. We are both bisexual. She is a trans woman, and one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. For the whole time we’ve been together (and my entire life before that!), I have identified as a cis woman, but I am more and more questioning that. I’ve been increasingly thinking of myself as genderquee non-binary and I would like to explore this, but every time I think about talking to my gf about it I clam up. I think there are two main things stopping me talking to her: Firstly, I’m worried about appropriating something that isn’t mine. I wouldn’t describe myself as trans, and I’m not sure what being out as GQ/NB might look like or what I want from other people. I’m also really aware that even if I do go down the route of being more out, I won’t ever face what she has had to – she transitioned before we got together but during our relationship she’s been bullied out of a job and physically attacked because of who she is. She works in a very ‘conservative’ field and I am currently a full-time grad student so I have things easier on that front as well. Secondly, I have a worry that if I talk to her about my feelings she might push me to take steps such as coming out to my family or exclusively using ‘they’ pronouns (internally I am using a mixture of she and they to refer to myself, which feels right). Again, she’s had to fight so hard to be seen for who she truly is and I feel uneasy saying to her that I’m not sure who I am and want to explore some different options. What if I present as NB for a while but then go back to being more femme/ decide not to describe myself in that way any more? I love her and I think that when I do actually talk to her she will be loving and supportive, but my own head keeps tripping me up! Has anyone been in a similar situation or has any advice?
am i a demi girl or am i a cis girl who hates being a girl? hi, so i think i need another perspective on this. i was born as female and all through my life i have been known as female (she, her), except online where i prefer she, they. i’ve always hated being a girl - for reasons such as the limitations (well according to my parents): can’t go places alone, can’t walk in the dark. but then there’s just the underlying hate of being a girl from no reason in particular. so i don’t know whether i am a cis female who just hates being female and wishes they weren’t, or something non-binary but still with attachments to being a girl; a demi girl. socially, i’d rather be referred to with they/them pronouns, but i don’t know whether that’s me just not wanting my gender influencing what someone would think of me, or if i don’t identify as strongly female. i still feel partially female but then also i feel partially nothing (maybe non binary) but i could just be faking it i don’t really know. i’m not dysphoric, i just hate being a girl and would rather be genderless. in situations where i have to disclose my gender (like questionaries, surveys) i always choose ‘prefer to not say’ and if there’s no option for that i’ll reluctantly pick female (although it feels somehow wrong) or get out of the situation entirely. if you could help me out that’d be really appreciated, i’ve never been good at labels.
Non-binary: Applies to a person ... Wikipedia's gender-neutral pronouns page lists 14 "non-traditional pronouns" in English, though three are variants of "ze". ... offer hundreds of options. Luebbert uses they/them pronouns and has their students address them with honorific Mx. — a gender-neutral alternative to the gendered Mr., Ms., Miss and Mrs. that most of us grew up using for ... Gender-neutral or non-binary pronouns are used when a person doesn’t know the gender of the person about whom they speak OR when a person requests a non-binary pronoun in reference to themself. Typically, when someone does not know the gender of the person, “they” and its variants are used. There is a debate about the… Earlier this month, Harvard University made a buzz after allowing students to select gender-neutral options like “ze,” “e,” and “they” on registration forms. In doing so, it joined a The gender identity question also includes options for people who have a non-binary gender identity (people who do not identify as male or female). In addition to collecting SO/GI data, asking patients to include the name they want their providers to use as well as the correct pronouns to use is also recommended by leading experts in LGBT ...
Talking about pronouns, gender dysphoria and passing as cis as a non-binary person. Check out Courtney's Channel: http://bit.ly/2gImsOb __ BOOKING & INFO: ht... choosing a new name is really hard for anyone, but it seems especially hard choosing a gender neutral name. for one, is any name ever /truly/ gender neutral.... What are pronouns? Why are they important? How can you be respectful and inclusive when you're using them? What do gender neutral pronouns have to do with it... It’s time to stop assuming gender pronouns. There’s a wonderful world beyond the binary. What are your pronouns? Let us know in the comments! Huge thanks to ... So called trans people who are claiming they are neither male nor female are demanding special rights and privileges that allow them to take away your right ...