A Beginner's Guide to Betting on NHL Hockey

Unpopular Opinion: The Sharks are going to compete this season

I know, I know, this is going to be super unpopular, but fuck it. I think the Sharks are going to compete this season.
Last year was a shit show. When Pavs left, things fell apart more than the top brass realized it would. And then Jones didn't have his bounce back, and EK65 and several other guys were playing injured, and things just spiraled until the season was cut off early. But a lot of time has passed. Not playing in the COVID season probably helped the Sharks more than any team, because now our top guys are completely healthy. I don't think we fully appreciate this yet. I think EK65 is STILL an Elite player, I know I myself have doubted him a lot, but I bet he is going to bring it this year.
My biggest hope is that the Sharks are going to change up their system, which is drastically needed. I am going to be open, I was a PBD basher. I loved his system in our Finals loss, but after that dumping pucks, playing the boards, and letting Burns take shots from way too far out looking for a tip just didn't work anymore. Our old system needed Pavs, but he is gone. Plus it was getting pretty boring to watch.
I think EK65 is an exciting player to watch (that is part of why DW got him), and we are going to have a new system more centered around him. I think having BB has our coach obviously means we will still be defensively oriented, but I am guessing we are going to turn into more of a neutral zone dominating transition team, instead of dump and chase. I think trading for Donato and signing Labanc at the price he did implies Wilson wants Sharks hockey to be more exciting. And honestly, I know the Sharks can be this team, because when they are winning, they are dominating the neutral zone.
I know people are going to really hate this opinion, but I think Labanc is going to bring it this year. He was one of the players to suffer under PBD's system the most, and I don't think we have seen his potential yet. I also think he will benefit the most from a new team identity, which the Sharks will find this season. Labanc has a stronger work ethic than we all realize, and having Pavs and Burns as role models has rubbed off on him a lot.
Oh god, even more unpopular, I think once the Sharks find their new identity, goaltending is going to have a sharp bounce back. I know, just burn me at the stake now. I think Jones is finally going to come back. Do I personally believe in him? No. But I truly feel like the team does, and the new tandem will somehow work (although only for 1 season). I think having another Vet in there will really help Jones a lot.
Ok, here is what I think they are going to try in our top 6:
Kane - Couture - Donato
Meier - Hertl - Labanc
I know, it doesn't look like a dominating top 6, but I bet it finds a way to work. I really do think Wilson got Donato and plans to put him in the top 6. It is a big risk to have your two top RW as Donato and Labanc, but if we shift from dump and chase to a transitional/odd man rush team, something EK65 is better at, these two guys could end up working. I could also see BB switching Meier and Donato in this scenario and having a hard hitting top line, with a filthy goal scoring 2nd line.
I think the bottom 6 is still way up in the air. I figure Marleau is back, which I agree with, we need his leadership. I am not sure if Big Joe is back. I feel like he might think he has better chances somewhere else. I will admit, I have no idea what our third line will look like. If I am trying to be extra positive, I am hoping that giving so many rookies a taste of the big time last year will mean one or two will really have stepped it up during all this off time, and will be a surprise add. I also feel like many of our younger guys have more middle 6 potential, so having openings on the 3rd line instead of the 4th could end up working out better than we think.
Here is a maybe guess:
Gregor - Big Joe/True - Gambrell
Marleau - Kellman - Noesen
I figure they are going to give Gambrell one more look, maybe he makes it work? Maybe someone else from the depth comes up instead? Gregor has the speed that we are going to be wanting, so I bet he is in at LW or maybe Center if Thornton doesn't come back. I guess they could slot Kellman in on the 3rd line too, but I liked his chemistry with Noesen a lot. The 4th line I have listed looks super good to me.
If DW manages to trade Burns or Vlasic somehow, I could see Donato on the 3rd line if we got another top 6 RW, but I don't see that happening. Trading Burns could mean we can split up Karlsson and Vlasic, but that would also mean we would have to find a shut down D for Vlasic to pair with (and probably move Ferraro with Karlsson?). I am just not sure how a Burns trade can benefit us enough without managing to pick up a partner for Vlasic and a top 6 RW, which I don't think we can get. Trading Vlasic would be far more beneficial for the team, but I don't think we will be able to move him. Our best case scenario is that the healthy EK65 + Vlasic unit actually ends up being the dominating top D pair we want it to be. I bet after all this time off, Vlasic will lose whatever attitude he had, and the desire to win will come back.
Assuming we don't trade someone, I bet D pairs will look like this:
Vlasic - Karlsson
Simek - Burns
Ferraro - ?
I know I sound crazy, but I really think this team is going to bounce back. I think the Sharks have completely lost their identity, but they are going to create a new team this year. Do I think we will dominate the Pacific? No, but I bet we will pull 2nd or 3rd, and be a dark in the playoffs. I truly do think this team has insane levels of talent on it, we just haven't seen everything yet from some injuries and bad attitudes. I truly feel like we are going to see the team gel this year.
Feel free to argue with me, please don't be too mean though. Yes, I am aware I am an idiot, I just love being hopeful with sports, and I think we really do have the talent to surprise.
submitted by isthisit35 to SanJoseSharks [link] [comments]

The prophecy is upon us.

the entire bee movie script
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.” SEQ. 75 - “INTRO TO know what I’m talking about. They walk off. SEQ. 400 - “MEET THE JOCKS” SFX: The SOUND of Pollen Jocks. PAN DOWN from the Honex statue. J-GATE ANNOUNCER Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, hey, those are Pollen jocks. ADAM Wow. FOUR PATROL BEES FLY in through the hive’s giant Gothic entrance. The Patrol Bees are wearing fighter pilot helmets with black visors. ADAM (CONT’D) I’ve never seen them this close. BA did you get? SANDY SHRIMPKIN Picking the crud out. That is stellar! ADAM Wow. BUZZWELL (to Adam and Barry) Couple of newbies? ADAM Yes Sir. Our first day. We are ready. BUZZWELL Well, step up and make your choice. ANGLE ON: A CHART listing the different sectors of Honex. Heating, Cooling, Viscosity, Krelman, Pollen Counting, Stunt Bee, Pouring, Stirrer, Humming, Regurgitating, Front Desk, Hair Removal, Inspector No. 7, Chef, Lint Coordinator, Stripe Supervisor, Antennae-ball polisher, Mite Wrangler, Swatting Counselor, Wax Monkey, Wing Brusher, Hive Keeper, Restroom Attendant. ADAM (to Barry) You want to go first? BARRY No, you go. ADAM Oh my. What’s available? BUZZWELL Restroom attendant is always open, and not for the reason you think. ADAM Any chance of getting on to the Krelman, Sir? BUZZWELL Sure, you’re on. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 18. He plops the KRELMAN HAT onto Adam’s head. ANGLE ON: The job board. THE COLUMNS READ: “OCCUPATION” “POSITIONS AVAILABLE”, and “STATUS”. The middle column has numbers, and the right column has job openings flipping between “open”, “pending”, and “closed”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) Oh, I’m sorry. The Krelman just closed out. ADAM Oh! He takes the hat off Adam. BUZZWELL Wax Monkey’s always open. The Krelman goes from “Closed” to “Open”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) And the Krelman just opened up again. ADAM What happened? BUZZWELL Well, whenever a bee dies, that’s an opening. (pointing at the board) See that? He’s dead, dead, another dead one, deady, deadified, two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But, that’s life. ANGLE ON: Barry’s disturbed expression. ADAM (feeling pressure to decide) Oh, this is so hard. Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector no. 7, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, antenna-ball polisher, mite wrangler-- Barry, Barry, what do you think I should-- Barry? Barry? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 19. Barry is gone. CUT TO: SEQ. 775 - “LOU LODUCA SPEECH” EXT. J-GATE - SAME TIME Splitz, Jackson, Buzz, Lou and two other BEES are going through final pre-flight checks. Barry ENTERS. LOU LODUCA Alright, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on Sutton Place... Barry’s antennae rings, like a phone. ADAM (V.O) What happened to you? Where are you? Barry whispers throughout. BARRY I’m going out. ADAM (V.O) Out? Out where? BARRY Out there. ADAM (V.O) (putting it together) Oh no. BARRY I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM (V.O) You’re going to die! You’re crazy! Hello? BARRY Oh, another call coming in. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 20. ADAM (V.O) You’re cra-- Barry HANGS UP. ANGLE ON: Lou Loduca. LOU LODUCA If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean Deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. BARRY (timidly) Hey guys. BUZZ Well, look at that. SPLITZ Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LODUCA (to Barry) Hold it son, flight deck’s restricted. JACKSON It’s okay Lou, we’re going to take him up. Splitz and Jackson CHUCKLE. LOU LODUCA Really? Feeling lucky, are ya? A YOUNGER SMALLER BEE THAN BARRY, CHET, runs up with a release waiver for Barry to sign. CHET Sign here. Here. Just initial that. Thank you. LOU LODUCA Okay, you got a rain advisory today and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, (reading off clipboard) watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears, and bats. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 21. Also, I got a couple reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada. BARRY That’s awful. LOU LODUCA And a reminder for all you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans. Alright, launch positions! The Jocks get into formation, chanting as they move. LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Black and Yellow! JOCKS Hello! SPLITZ (to Barry) Are you ready for this, hot shot? BARRY Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Barry NODS, terrified. BUZZ Wind! - CHECK! JOCK #1 Antennae! - CHECK! JOCK #2 Nectar pack! - CHECK! JACKSON Wings! - CHECK! SPLITZ Stinger! - CHECK! BARRY Scared out of my shorts - CHECK. LOU LODUCA Okay ladies, let’s move it out. Everyone FLIPS their goggles down. Pit crew bees CRANK their wings, and remove the starting blocks. We hear loud HUMMING. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 22. LOU LODUCA (CONT'D) LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Pound those petunia's, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! A FLIGHT DECK GUY in deep crouch hand-signals them out the archway as the backwash from the bee wings FLUTTERS his jump suit. Barry follows everyone. SEQ. 800 - “FLYING WITH THE JOCKS” The bees climb above tree tops in formation. Barry is euphoric. BARRY Whoa! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. Ha ha ha! (a beat) I feel so fast...and free. (re: kites in the sky) Box kite! Wow! They fly by several bicyclists, and approach a patch of flowers. BARRY (CONT'D) Flowers! SPLITZ This is blue leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around thirty degrees and hold. BARRY (sotto) Roses. JACKSON Thirty degrees, roger, bringing it around. Many pollen jocks break off from the main group. They use their equipment to collect nectar from flowers. Barry flies down to watch the jocks collect the nectar. JOCK Stand to the side kid, it’s got a bit of a kick. The jock fires the gun, and recoils. Barry watches the gun fill up with nectar. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 23. BARRY Oh, that is one Nectar Collector. JOCK You ever see pollination up close? BARRY No, Sir. He takes off, and the excess pollen dust falls causing the flowers to come back to life. JOCK (as he pollinates) I pick some pollen up over here, sprinkle it over here, maybe a dash over there, pinch on that one...see that? It’s a little bit of magic, ain’t it? The FLOWERS PERK UP as he pollinates. BARRY Wow. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? JOCK ...that’s pollen power, Kid. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY Cool. The Jock WINKS at Barry. Barry rejoins the other jocks in the sky. They swoop in over a pond, kissing the surface. We see their image reflected in the water; they’re really moving. They fly over a fountain. BUZZ I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow, could be daisies. Don’t we need those? SPLITZ Copy that visual. We see what appear to be yellow flowers on a green field. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 24. They go into a deep bank and dive. BUZZ Hold on, one of these flowers seems to be on the move. SPLITZ Say again...Are you reporting a moving flower? BUZZ Affirmative. SEQ. 900 - “TENNIS GAME” The pollen jocks land. It is a tennis court with dozens of tennis balls. A COUPLE, VANESSA and KEN, plays tennis. The bees land right in the midst of a group of balls. KEN (O.C) That was on the line! The other bees start walking around amongst the immense, yellow globes. SPLITZ This is the coolest. What is it? They stop at a BALL on a white line and look up at it. JACKSON I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. SPLITZ (smelling tennis ball) Smells good. Not like a flower. But I like it. JACKSON Yeah, fuzzy. BUZZ Chemical-y. JACKSON Careful, guys, it’s a little grabby. Barry LANDS on a ball and COLLAPSES. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 25. BARRY Oh my sweet lord of bees. JACKSON Hey, candy brain, get off there! Barry attempts to pulls his legs off, but they stick. BARRY Problem! A tennis shoe and a hand ENTER FRAME. The hand picks up the ball with Barry underneath it. BARRY (CONT'D) Guys! BUZZ This could be bad. JACKSON Affirmative. Vanessa walks back to the service line, BOUNCES the ball. Each time u going? BARRY Nowhere. I’m meeting a friend. Barry JUMPS off the balcony and EXITS. JANET BENSON (calling after him) A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? BARRY Bye! JANET BENSON I just hope she’s Bee-ish. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 49. SEQ. 1700 - “STREETWALK/SUPERMARKET” EXT. VANESSA’S FLORIST SHOP - DAY Vanessa FLIPS the sign to say “Sorry We Missed You”, and locks the door. ANGLE ON: A POSTER on Vanessa’s door for the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena. BARRY So they have a huge parade of just flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA Oh, to be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream. Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY Wow, a tournament. Do the roses actually compete in athletic events? VANESSA No. Alright, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? BARRY It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? VANESSA Hmmm. BARRY Isn’t that faster? VANESSA Yeah, okay. I see, I see. Alright, your turn. Barry and Vanessa walk/fly down a New York side street, no other pedestrians near them. BARRY Ah! Tivo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 50. VANESSA What, you don’t have anything like that? BARRY We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA Oh my. They turn the corner onto a busier avenue and people start to swat at Barry. MAN Dumb bees! VANESSA You must just want to sting all those jerks. BARRY We really try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. VANESSA So you really have to watch your temper? They ENTER a SUPERMARKET. CUT TO: INT. SUPERMARKET BARRY Oh yeah, very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. You work through it like any emotion-- anger, jealousy, (under his breath) lust. Barry hops on top of some cardboard boxes in the middle of an aisle. A stock boy, HECTOR, whacks him with a rolled up magazine. VANESSA (to Barry) Oh my goodness. Are you okay? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 51. BARRY Yeah. Whew! Vanessa WHACKS Hector over the head with the magazine. VANESSA (to Hector) What is wrong with you?! HECTOR It’s a bug. VANESSA Well he’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep. Vanessa pushes him, and Hector EXITS, muttering. BARRY (shaking it off) What was that, a Pick and Save circular? VANESSA Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY It felt like about ten pages. Seventy-five’s pretty much our limit. VANESSA Boy, you’ve really got that down to a science. BARRY Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA I’ll bet. Barry stops, sees the wall of honey jars. BARRY What, in the name of Mighty Hercules, is this? How did this get here? Cute Bee? Golden Blossom? Ray Liotta Private Select? VANESSA Is he that actor? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 52. BARRY I never heard of him. Why is this here? VANESSA For people. We eat it. BARRY Why? (gesturing around the market) You don’t have enough food of your own? VANESSA Well yes, we-- BARRY How do you even get it? VANESSA Well, bees make it... BARRY I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s Heating and Cooling, and Stirring...you need a whole Krelman thing. VANESSA It’s organic. BARRY It’s our-ganic! VANESSA It’s just honey, Barry. BARRY Just...what?! Bees don’t know about this. This is stealing. A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, our schools, our hospitals. This is all we have. And it’s on sale? I’m going to get to the bottom of this. I’m going to get to the bottom of all of this! He RIPS the label off the Ray Liotta Private Select. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 53. SEQ. 1800 - “WINDSHIELD” EXT. BACK OF SUPERMARKET LOADING DOCK - LATER THAT DAY Barry disguises himself by blacking out his yellow lines with a MAGIC MARKER and putting on some war paint. He sees Hector, the stock boy, with a knife CUTTING open cardboard boxes filled with honey jars. MAN You almost done? HECTOR Almost. Barry steps in some honey, making a SNAPPING noise. Hector stops and turns. HECTOR (CONT’D) He is here. I sense it. Hector grabs his BOX CUTTER. Barry REACTS, hides himself behind the box again. HECTOR (CONT’D) (talking too loud, to no one in particular) Well, I guess I’ll go home now, and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. A BEAT. Hector pretends to exit. He takes a couple of steps in place. ANGLE ON: The honey jar. Barry steps out into a moody spotlight. BARRY You’re busted, box boy! HECTOR Ah ha! I knew I heard something. So, you can talk. Barry flies up, stinger out, pushing Hector up against the wall. As Hector backs up, he drops his knife. BARRY Oh, I can talk. And now you’re going to start talking. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 54. Where are you getting all the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier?! HECTOR I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought we were all friends. The last thing we want to do is upset any of you...bees! Hector grabs a PUSHPIN. Barry fences with his stinger. HECTOR (CONT’D) You’re too late. It’s ours now! BARRY You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword. HECTOR You, sir, are about to be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Barry and Hector get into a cross-swords, nose-to-nose confrontation. BARRY Where is the honey coming from? Barry knocks the pushpin out of his hand. Barry puts his stinger up to Hector’s nose. BARRY (CONT'D) Tell me where?! HECTOR (pointing to a truck) Honey Farms. It comes from Honey Farms. ANGLE ON: A Honey Farms truck leaving the parking lot. Barry turns, takes off after the truck through an alley. He follows the truck out onto a busy street, dodging a bus, and several cabs. CABBIE Crazy person! He flies through a metal pipe on the top of a truck. BARRY OOOHHH! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 55. BARRY (CONT'D) Barry grabs onto a bicycle messenger’s backpack. The honey farms truck starts to pull away. Barry uses the bungee cord to slingshot himself towards the truck. He lands on the windshield, where the wind plasters him to the glass. He looks up to find himself surrounded by what appear to be DEAD BUGS. He climbs across, working his way around the bodies. BARRY (CONT’D) Oh my. What horrible thing has happened here? Look at these faces. They never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere. A MOSQUITO opens his eyes. MOOSEBLOOD Pssst! Just keep still. BARRY What? You’re not dead? MOOSEBLOOD Do I look dead? Hey man, they bee community is supporting you in this case, which is certain to be the trial of the bee century. BARRY Thank you, Larry. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world, too. BEE LARRY KING It’s a common name. Next week on Bee Larry King... "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 66. BARRY No, I mean he looks like you. And he has a show with suspenders and different colored dots behind him. BEE LARRY KING Next week on Bee Larry King... BARRY Old guy glasses, and there’s quotes along the bottom from the guest you’re watching even though you just heard them... BEE LARRY KING Bear week next week! They’re scary, they’re hairy, and they’re here live. Bee Larry King EXITS. BARRY Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes... (lights go out) Very Jewish. CUT TO: SEQ. 2400 - “FLOWER SHOP” INT. VANESSA’S FLOWER SHOP - NIGHT Stacks of law books are piled up, legal forms, etc. Vanessa is talking with Ken in the other room. KEN Look, in tennis, you attack at the point of weakness. VANESSA But it was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. KEN Honey, her backhand’s a joke. I’m not going to take advantage of that? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 67. BARRY (O.C) Quiet please. Actual work going on here. KEN Is that that same bee? BARRY (O.C) Yes it is. VANESSA I’m helping him sue the human race. KEN What? Barry ENTERS. BARRY Oh, hello. KEN Hello Bee. Barry flies over to Vanessa. VANESSA This is Ken. BARRY Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size 10 1/2, Vibram sole I believe. KEN Why does he talk again, Hun? VANESSA (to Ken, sensing the tension) Listen, you’d better go because we’re really busy working. KEN But it’s our yogurt night. VANESSA (pushing him out the door) Oh...bye bye. She CLOSES the door. KEN Why is yogurt night so difficult?! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 68. Vanessa ENTERS the back room carrying coffee. VANESSA Oh you poor thing, you two have been at this for hours. BARRY Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ANGLE ON: A EMPTY CINNABON BOX with Adam asleep inside, covered in frosting. VANESSA How many sugars? BARRY Just one. I try not to use the competition. So, why are you helping me, anyway? VANESSA Bees have good qualities. BARRY (rowing on the sugar cube like a gondola) Si, Certo. VANESSA And it feels good to take my mind off the shop. I don’t know why, instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY Yeah, those are great...if you’re 3. VANESSA And artificial flowers. BARRY (re: plastic flowers) Oh, they just get me psychotic! VANESSA Yeah, me too. BARRY The bent stingers, the pointless pollination. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 69. VANESSA Bees must hate those fake plastic things. BARRY There’s nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. VANESSA (holding up the lawsuit documents) Well, maybe this can make up for it a little bit. CUT TO: EXT. VANESSA’S FLORIST SHOP They EXIT the store, and cross to the mailbox. VANESSA You know Barry, this lawsuit is a pretty big deal. BARRY I guess. VANESSA Are you sure that you want to go through with it? BARRY Am I sure? (kicking the envelope into the mailbox) When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty. CUT TO: SEQ. 2700 - “MEET MONTGOMERY” EXT. MANHATTAN COURTHOUSE - DAY P.O.V SHOT - A camera feed turns on, revealing a newsperson. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 70. PRESS PERSON #2 (talking to camera) Sarah, it’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan where all eyes and ears of the world are anxiously waiting, because for the first time in history, we’re going to hear for ourselves if a honey bee can actually speak. ANGLE ON: Barry, Vanessa, and Adam getting out of the cab. The press spots Barry and Vanessa and pushes in. Adam sits on Vanessa’s shoulder. INT. COURTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS Barry, Vanessa, and Adam sit at the Plaintiff’s Table. VANESSA (turns to Barry) What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY I don’t know, but it’s pretty big, isn’t it? ADAM I can’t believe how many humans don’t have to be at work during the day. BARRY Hey, you think these billion dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? CUT TO: EXT. COURTHOUSE STEPS - CONTINUOUS A BIG BLACK CAR pulls up. ANGLE ON: the grill filling the frame. We see the “L.T.M” monogram on the hood ornament. The defense lawyer, LAYTON T. MONTGOMERY comes out, squashing a bug on the pavement. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 71. INT. COURTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS Barry SHUDDERS. VANESSA What’s the matter? BARRY I don’t know. I just got a chill. Montgomery ENTERS. He walks by Barry’s table shaking a honey packet. MONTGOMERY Well, if it isn’t the B-Team. (re: the honey packet) Any of you boys work on this? He CHUCKLES. The JUDGE ENTERS. SEQ. 3000 - “WITNESSES” BAILIFF All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE (shuffling papers) Alright...Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York. Barry Bee Benson vs. the honey industry, is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you are representing the five major food companies, collectively. ANGLE ON: Montgomery’s BRIEFCASE. It has an embossed emblem of an EAGLE, holding a gavel in one talon and a briefcase in the other. MONTGOMERY A privilege. JUDGE Mr. Benson. Barry STANDS. JUDGE (CONT’D) You are representing all bees of the world? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 72. Montgomery, the stenographer, and the jury lean in. CUT TO: EXT. COURTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS The spectators outside freeze. The helicopters angle forward to listen closely. CUT TO: INT. COURTHOUSE BARRY Bzzz bzzz bzzz...Ahh, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Yes, your honor. We are ready to proceed. ANGLE ON: Courtroom hub-bub. JUDGE And Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Montgomery rises. MONTGOMERY (grumbles, clears his throat) Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. My grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we were to live in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what it would mean. Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silk worm for the elastic in my britches. Talking bee. How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion picture capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams, robotics, ventriloquism, cloning...for all we know he could be on steroids! Montgomery leers at Barry, who moves to the stand. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 73. JUDGE Mr. Benson? Barry makes his opening statement. BARRY Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. And as a bee, honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it, we make it, and we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take whatever they want from us cause we’re the little guys. And what I’m hoping is that after this is all over, you’ll see how by taking our honey, you’re not only taking away everything we have, but everything we are. ANGLE ON: Vanessa smiling. ANGLE ON: The BEE GALLERY wiping tears away. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE Barry’s family is watching the case on TV. JANET BENSON Oh, I wish he would dress like that all the time. So nice... CUT TO: INT. COURTROOM - LATER JUDGE Call your first witness. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 74. INT. COURTHOUSE - LATER BARRY So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms. Pretty big company you have there? MR. VANDERHAYDEN I suppose so. BARRY And I see you also own HoneyBurton, and Hon-Ron. MR. VANDERHAYDEN Yes. They provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term, I have to say. I don’t imagine you employ any bee free-ers, do you? MR. VANDERHAYDEN No. BARRY I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you. MR. VANDERHAYDEN (louder) No. BARRY No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. And not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey? MR. VANDERHAYDEN Well, they’re very lovable creatures. Yogi-bear, Fozzy-bear, Build-a-bear. BARRY Yeah, you mean like this?! Vanessa and the SUPERINTENDANT from her building ENTER with a GIANT FEROCIOUS GRIZZLY BEAR. He has a neck collar and chains extending from either side. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 75. By pulling the chains, they bring him directly in front of Vanderhayden. The bear LUNGES and ROARS. BARRY (CONT'D) Bears kill bees! How would you like his big hairy head crashing into your living room? Biting into your couch, spitting out your throwpillows...rowr, rowr! The bear REACTS. BEAR Rowr!! BARRY Okay, that’s enough. Take him away. Vanessa and the Superintendant pull the bear out of the courtroom. Vanderhayden TREMBLES. The judge GLARES at him. CUT TO: INT. COURTROOM- A LITTLE LATER Barry questions STING. BARRY So, Mr. Sting. Thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me, I have to say. Where have I heard it before? STING I was with a band called "The Police". BARRY But you've never been a police officer of any kind, have you? STING No, I haven't. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 76. BARRY No, you haven’t. And so, here we have yet another example of bee culture being casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING Oh please. BARRY Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say, (looking in folder) Mr. Gordon M. Sumner? The jury GASPS. MONTGOMERY (to his aides) That’s not his real name? You idiots! CUT TO: INT. COURTHOUSE- LATER BARRY Mr. Liotta, first may I offer my belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on E.R. in 2005. LIOTTA Thank you. Thank you. Liotta LAUGHS MANIACALLY. BARRY I also see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome, but with a churning inner turmoil that’s always ready to blow. LIOTTA I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 77. BARRY Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you, Mr. Liotta? Exploiting tiny helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part, and learn your lines, Sir? LIOTTA Watch it Benson, I could blow right now. BARRY This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! LIOTTA (exploding, trying to smash Barry with the Emmy) Why doesn’t someone just step on this little creep and we can all go home? You’re all thinking it. Say it! JUDGE Order! Order in this courtroom! A MONTAGE OF NEWSPAPER HEADLINES FOLLOWS: NEW YORK POST: “Bees to Humans: Buzz Off”. NEW YORK TELEGRAM: “Sue Bee”. DAILY VARIETY: “Studio Dumps Liotta Project. Slams Door on Unlawful Entry 2.” CUT TO: SEQ. 3175 - “CANDLELIGHT DINNER” INT. VANESSA’S APARTMENT Barry and Vanessa are having a candle light dinner. Visible behind Barry is a “LITTLE MISSY” SET BOX, with the flaps open. BARRY Well, I just think that was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 78. VANESSA I’m telling you, I think the jury’s on our side. BARRY Are we doing everything right...you know, legally? VANESSA I’m a florist. BARRY Right, right. Barry raises his glass. BARRY (CONT’D) Well, here’s to a great team. VANESSA To a great team. They toast. Ken ENTERS KEN Well hello. VANESSA Oh...Ken. BARRY Hello. VANESSA I didn’t think you were coming. KEN No, I was just late. I tried to call. But, (holding his cell phone) the battery... VANESSA I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily he was free. BARRY Yeah. KEN (gritting his teeth) Oh, that was lucky. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 79. VANESSA Well, there’s still a little left. I could heat it up. KEN Yeah, heat it up. Sure, whatever. Vanessa EXITS. Ken and Barry look at each other as Barry eats. BARRY So, I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. I find the ball a little grabby. KEN That’s where I usually sit. Right there. VANESSA (O.C) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that “eating with chopsticks” isn’t really a special skill. KEN (to Barry) You think I don’t see what you’re doing? BARRY Hey look, I know how hard it is trying to find the right job. We certainly have that in common. KEN Do we? BARRY Well, bees have 100% employment, of course. But we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken holds his table knife up. It slips out of his hand. He goes under the table to pick it up. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 80. VANESSA Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was alright. Ken hits his head on the table. BARRY I’m going to go drain the old stinger. KEN Yeah, you do that. Barry EXITS to the bathroom, grabbing a small piece of a VARIETY MAGAZINE on the way. BARRY Oh, look at that. Ken slams the champagne down on the table. Ken closes his eyes and buries his face in his hands. He grabs a magazine on the way into the bathroom. SEQ. 2800 - “BARRY FIGHTS KEN” INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Ken ENTERS, closes the door behind him. He’s not happy. Barry is washing his hands. He glances back at Ken. KEN You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. BARRY What’s that? KEN Italian Vogue. BARRY Mamma Mia, that’s a lot of pages. KEN It’s a lot of ads. BARRY Remember what Van said. Why is your life any more valuable than mine? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 81. KEN It’s funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! Ken WHACKS at Barry with the magazine. He misses and KNOCKS EVERYTHING OFF THE VANITY. Ken grabs a can of AIR FRESHENER. KEN (CONT'D) I think something stinks in here. He sprays at Barry. BARRY I love the smell of flowers. KEN Yeah? How do you like the smell of flames? Ken lights the stream. BARRY Not as much. Barry flies in a circle. Ken, trying to stay with him, spins in place. ANGLE ON: Flames outside the bathroom door. Ken slips on the Italian Vogue, falls backward into the shower, pulling down the shower curtain. The can hits him in the head, followed by the shower curtain rod, and the rubber duck. Ken reaches back, grabs the handheld shower head. He whips around, looking for Barry. ANGLE ON: A WATERBUG near the drain. WATERBUG Waterbug. Not taking sides. Barry is on the toilet tank. He comes out from behind a shampoo bottle, wearing a chapstick cap as a helmet. BARRY Ken, look at me! I’m wearing a chapstick hat. This is pathetic. ANGLE ON: Ken turning the hand shower nozzle from “GENTLE”, to “TURBO”, to “LETHAL”. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 82. KEN I’ve got issues! Ken fires the water at Barry, knocking him into the toilet. The items from the vanity (emory board, lipstick, eye curler, etc.) are on the toilet seat. Ken looks down at Barry. KEN (CONT'D) Well well well, a royal flush. BARRY You’re bluffing. KEN Am I? Ken flushes the toilet. Barry grabs the Emory board and uses it to surf. He puts his hand in the water while he’s surfing. Some water splashes on Ken. BARRY Surf’s up, dude! KEN Awww, poo water! He does some skate board-style half-pipe riding. Barry surfs out of the toilet. BARRY That bowl is gnarly. Ken tries to get a shot at him with the toilet brush. KEN Except for those dirty yellow rings. Vanessa ENTERS. VANESSA Kenneth! What are you doing? KEN You know what? I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! VANESSA We need to talk! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 83. She pulls Ken out by his ear. Ken glares at Barry. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS VANESSA He’s just a little bee. And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time. KEN Long time? What are you talking about? Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! KEN Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...my nerves are fried from riding on this emotional rollercoaster. VANESSA Goodbye, Ken. KEN Augh! VANESSA Whew! Ken EXITS, then re-enters frame. KEN And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners, made by man! He EXITS again. The DOOR SLAMS behind him. VANESSA (to Barry) I’m sorry about all that. Ken RE-ENTERS. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 84. KEN I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! BARRY (re: Ken) I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. (puts his hands in his pockets) I couldn’t overcome it. Oh well. VANESSA Are you going to be okay for the trial tomorrow? BARRY Oh, I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. CUT TO: SEQ. 3300 - “ADAM STINGS MONTY” INT. COURTROOM - NEXT DAY ANGLE ON: Medium shot of Montgomery standing at his table. MONTGOMERY We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM (whispering to Vanessa) Now that’s a good idea. (to Barry) You can really see why he’s considered one of the very best lawyers-- Oh. Barry rolls his eyes. He gets up, takes the stand. A juror in a striped shirt APPLAUDS. MR. GAMMIL (whispering) Layton, you’ve got to weave some magic with this jury, or it’s going to be all over. Montgomery is holding a BOOK, “The Secret Life of Bees”. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 85. MONTGOMERY (confidently whispering) Oh, don’t worry Mr. Gammil. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. (to Gammil) You got the tweezers? Mr. Gammil NODS, and pats his breast pocket. MR. GAMMIL Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Montgomery approaches the stand. MONTGOMERY (CONT’D) Mr. Benson Bee. I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? Montgomery points to Vanessa. BARRY We’re friends. MONTGOMERY Good friends? BARRY Yes. MONTGOMERY (softly in Barry’s face) How good? BARRY What? MONTGOMERY Do you live together? BARRY Wait a minute, this isn’t about-- "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 86. MONTGOMERY Are you her little... (clearing throat) ... bed bug? BARRY (flustered) Hey, that’s not the kind of-- MONTGOMERY I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. Now, from what I understand, doesn’t your Queen give birth to all the bee children in the hive? BARRY Yeah, but-- MONTGOMERY So those aren’t even your real parents! ANGLE ON: Barry’s parents. MARTIN BENSON Oh, Barry. BARRY Yes they are! ADAM Hold me back! Vanessa holds him back with a COFFEE STIRRER. Montgomery points to Barry’s parents. MONTGOMERY You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you Benson? ADAM He’s denouncing bees! All the bees in the courtroom start to HUM. They’re agitated. MONTGOMERY And don’t y’all date your cousins? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 87. VANESSA (standing, letting go of Adam) Objection! Adam explodes from the table and flies towards Montgomery. ADAM I’m going to pin cushion this guy! Montgomery turns around and positions himself by the judge’s bench. He sticks his butt out. Montgomery winks at his team. BARRY Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Adam shoves Barry out of the way. Adam STINGS Montgomery in the butt. The jury REACTS, aghast. MONTGOMERY Ow! I’m hit! Oh, lordy, I am hit! The judge BANGS her gavel. JUDGE Order! Order! Please, Mr. Montgomery. MONTGOMERY The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a wing-ed beast of destruction. You see? You can’t treat them like equals. They’re strip-ed savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! ANGLE ON: Adam, collapsed on the floor. Barry rushes to his side. BARRY Adam, stay with me. ADAM I can’t feel my legs. Montgomery falls on the Bailiff. BAILIFF Take it easy. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 88. MONTGOMERY Oh, what angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? The JURY recoils. JUDGE Please, I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! FADE TO: SEQ. 3400 - “ADAM AT HOSPITAL” INT. HOSPITAL - STREET LEVEL ROOM - DAY PRESS PERSON #1 (V.O) The case of the honey bees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday, when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Now here’s Don with the 5-day. A NURSE lets Barry into the room. Barry CARRIES a FLOWER. BARRY Thank you. Barry stands over Adam, in a bed. Barry lays the flower down next to him. The TV is on. BARRY (CONT'D) Hey buddy. ADAM Hey. BARRY Is there much pain? Adam has a BEE-SIZED PAINKILLER HONEY BUTTON near his head that he presses. ADAM (pressing the button) Yeah...I blew the whole case, didn’t I? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 89. BARRY Oh, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is you’re alive. You could have died. ADAM I’d be better off dead. Look at me. Adam THROWS the blanket off his lap, revealing a GREEN SANDWICH SWORD STINGER. ADAM (CONT’D) (voice cracking) They got it from the cafeteria, they got it from downstairs. In a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. BARRY What was it like to sting someone? ADAM I can’t explain it. It was all adrenaline...and then...ecstasy. Barry looks at Adam. BARRY Alright. ADAM You think that was all a trap? BARRY Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us, we’re just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM What do you think the humans will do to us if they win? BARRY I don’t know. ADAM I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 90. BARRY Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out. Adam GULPS. ADAM Oh my. ANGLE ON: the hospital window. We see THREE PEOPLE smoking outside on the sidewalk. The smoke drifts in. Adam COUGHS. ADAM (CONT’D) Say, could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY Why? ADAM The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. BARRY Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. Adam, that’s it! That’s our case. Adam starts putting his clothes on. ADAM It is? It’s not over? BARRY No. Get up. Get dressed. I’ve got to go somewhere. You get back the court and stall. Stall anyway you can. CUT TO: SEQ. 3500 - “SMOKING GUN” INT. COURTROOM - THE NEXT DAY Adam is folding a piece of paper behind him as they zoom into the park. BARRY (to Splitz) Beautiful day to fly. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 130. JACKSON Sure is. BARRY Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. FADE OUT: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 131.
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HOME The Entire Bee Movie Script Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school, three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead.
I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.
Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive golden glow you know as...
Honey!
to improve every aspect of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.
Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.
that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know
that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?" How can you say that?
One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?
Why would you question anything? We're bees.
We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
You guys did great!
You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
Their day's not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.
A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad, the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.
You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?
That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!
You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
I'm so proud.
Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side.
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
Oh, my. What's available?
Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?
Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...
What happened to you? Where are you?
I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always, watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!
bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let's move it out!
Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I'm out!
I can't believe I'm out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic.
That's amazing. Why do we do that?
That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.
Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.
It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama's little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don't think these are flowers.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There's a bee in the car!
He's going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close the window please?
Ken, could you close the window please?
Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This...
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What's number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don't go for that...
...kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don't kill him!
You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?
I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life. I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I've got to.
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can't.
How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I'm sorry.
You're talking!
I'm so sorry.
No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming.
But I don't recall going to bed.
Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn't for you...
I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now.
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway...
Oan I...
...get you something? - Like what?
I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee?
I don't want to put you out.
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.
Hey, you want rum cake?
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.
You look great!
I don't know if you know anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on.
And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?"
Is that a bee joke?
That's the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don't know.
I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look...
There's my hive right there. See it?
You're in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it's no trouble.
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.
Are you...?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you so much again... for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...
This can't possibly work.
He's all set to go. We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans! What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy.
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.
You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all.
I can't get by that face.
So who is she?
She's... human.
No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.
She's so nice. And she's a florist!
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
We're not dating.
You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life! And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat!
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...
Sit down!
...really hot! - Listen to me!
We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them!
Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?
There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He's in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It's been three days! Why aren't you working?
I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.
What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee!
Would it kill you to make a little honey?
Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I'm talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I'll catch up.
Don't be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
He doesn't respond to yelling!
I'm not listening to this.
Sorry, I've gotta go.
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?
Bye.
I just hope she's Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere?
It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!
You don't have that?
We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You've really got that down to a science.
What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
You don't have enough food of your own?
And it's hard to make it!
There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!
It's just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have!
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.
I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I'll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.
You're busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something. So you can talk!
I can talk. And now you'll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?
I don't understand. I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want to do is upset bees!
You're too late! It's ours now!
You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now
they're on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You're not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I'm going to Tacoma.
All right.
Uh-oh!
Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell.
But don't kill no more bugs!
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it.
I mean, that honey's ours.
It's a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.
Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!
I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
They make the honey, and we make the money.
"They make the honey, and we make the money"?
Oh, my!
What's going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.
Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.
This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes!
That's a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There's hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He's been talking to humans.
He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
Up the nose? That's a killer.
There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"?
Bees have never been afraid to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.
It's a common name. Next week...
He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...
Next week...
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.
Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please. Actual work going on here.
I'm helping him sue the human race.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.
But it's our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.
Just one. I try not to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you're three.
And artificial flowers.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.
Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able
to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!
It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It's pretty big, isn't it?
I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.
Well, if it isn't the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right
to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn't some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here.
I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me.
It's important to all bees. We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over,
you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.
I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?
Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They're very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?!
Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that's enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me.
But you've never been a police officer, have you?
No, I haven't.
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example
of bee culture casually stolen by a human
for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That's not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't
have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!
This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella!
Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!
Order! Order, I say!
I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury's on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I'm a florist.
Right. Well, here's to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
I didn't think you were coming.
No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery.
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There's a little left. I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.
I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.
That's where I usually sit. Right... there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.
You think I don't see what you're doing?
I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That's just what I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I'm going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I've just about had it
with your little mind games.
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic!
I've got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
Surf's up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!
We need to talk!
He's just a little bee!
And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...
My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!
I'm sorry about all that.
I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.
We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers
submitted by ljjc_lyndon to Tyboo [link] [comments]

The Bee Movie Script Sorted Alphabetically (sauce in the comments)

a A able abort. Aborting About about about. about... about?! absolutely absurd According Across action actor? Actual actually Actually, Adam Adam, Adam. Adam? addicted adrenaline ads. advancement, advantage advisory affect affects Affirmative! Affirmative. afraid afraid. after afternoon! afternoon, aftertaste! again. again... again? against agreed ahead. aim Aim aiming air! airport, Airport, Alaska. alert alive. All all all. all... allergic allergic? allow almost Almost. alone already already. also Also, always Always always, am Am am. amazing! amazing. Amen! amusement an anchor And and angel Anger, angry animal animals? Another another ant Antennae, antennae. antennas Antonio Antonio. anxiously Any any anybody anybody. anyone anyone's anything anything. anything? anyway Anyway, Anyway... anywhere anywhere. approach. appropriate Are are are! are. are? area area. Aren't aren't around around! around, around. arousing Artie, artificial As as as... ask asked, aspect associate assume assuming At at athletic attack attempting attendant's Attention, attorney! attorney? attracted authorities. autograph automatically autopilot available available? aviation, aware away away. awful. awfully awkward. B's. babbling baby'll back back! back. back? backhand's bad bad-breath bad. badfella! balance bald, ball's balloon balm band barely barricade. barrier Barry Barry! Barry, Barry. Barry... Barry? base. bats. battery. Be be be. be? beams! Bear bear Bear, beards! bears Bears beast Beautiful beautiful Because because bed. Bee bee Bee! bee! bee's Bee, bee, bee-approved. bee-free-ers, Bee-ish. Bee-ish? Bee-men. bee-negative bee. bee? Beekeeper. beekeepers been Beep-beep! beer Bees bees bees! bees, Bees. bees. Bees? before before. before? begin begins behind being Bejesus? belated believe believe. believed belong benefit Benson Benson! Benson, Benson. Benson... Benson? Bent best bet. better better! between Between big big, billion-dollar birds, birth bit bit. Biting Black black black. blacktop. blade! blade? blend blew blinked! blood blood, blood-sucking Blood. Bloome Bloome, Bloome. Blossom, blow blow. Blows Blue blue. bluffing. boat, Bob body bogus book, boots. bored Born borrow both bothering bottom bounty bouquets bowl box Box boy! Boy, boy. boy? boys boys! boys? brain brave, brazenly bread break Breakfast breathe. breaths bred briefcase. bright Bring bring Bringing britches! brochure! brochure. brooch. brooms, bubble-contoured bud buddy. bug! bug. bugging bugs bugs! Build-A-Bear. building! Bumble Bumble. Bumbleton business. businesses. busted, busy but But But, but... buttocks? Buzz buzz! Buzz, buzz, Buzzwell, Buzzwell. buzzy-boy? by by. Bye! Bye, Bye-bye. Bye. cab cafeteria cake? call call, called calories. campaign camps. camps? can can't can't! can't. can'tjust can. candy candy. cannot capable captain. car! card, card. care career careful. carefully carefully. carob case case! case, case. casually catch celebrate! celebrating? celery center! century. ceremonies. chance chance, chance. change change. changes charges check check. cheering. cheese, children? chill. chips choice choice. choices. choose chopsticks church. churning chute. cicada! cinnamon circular? circumstances. class clean?! clear clients, close close. close? closed clothes! cloudy. coaster! cockpit? coffee! coffee. collectively? collector! college. color-corrected, color. colored combined. come comes comes! coming coming! coming. coming? common common. community community. compadres. companies company compelling compete competition. complete completely comrades? concentrate concludes congratulations consider considered conspiracy constantly contraption? control controls coolest. cooling, coordinator, copilot. copy correctly, cotton couch! could could. couldn't counting, couple course course, course. course... coursing court court! court's court. cousin cousin! cousins cousins. cousins? covered crashing crazy crazy! crazy. cream, creatures. creep! creep, crew. cricket cricket. crime? crossed crowds crud crumb. cry culture cup. cups cups, cut Dad, Dada, daffodil daisies. damage. dangerous dash date dated dating dating. Dave, day day! day's day, day. day? days days! Dead dead dead. dead? Deadified. Deady. deal deal. Dean death? decide decide? decision decisions deck's degrees degrees, delay. deli demand denouncing deny depends desk, desk. destruction! detail. developing. devilishly diabolical. Did did did, did? didn't die! die. died. difference. difference? difference?" different. difficult?! dirty disaster, disconcerting. discussing disease. dismissal Distant. distinctive distinguished disturbing divine division do Do do, do. do? doctor, doctored documentary Does does Doesn't doesn't doggone dogs, doing doing. doing? doing?! Don't don't don't! don't. done done! done. done? dots... down down! down, down. down? downstairs, downtown drag dragonfly. drain Drapes! dream! dreaming. dress dressed. drive driving! Drop drop drop. dude! Dumb during DustBuster, dying dying. dynamite! ear earned Earth. 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Here’s the Bee Movie Script in English since the first got removed. Mods can’t stop us.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
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McClain's Mailbag - lotta frustration here

Thank you for making this the longest Mailbag we’ve posted. Most of you wanted to vent, so I ran your comments first and the ones that required answers come afterward.
Most of you have given up on the season after the 0-2 start that should be 0-3. I’m guessing you gave up on them after the 0-3 start in 2018. Titans fans gave up last season when they started 2-4. Ravens fans wanted John Harbaugh fired with a 4-5 record in 2018. And don’t forget the Colts’ 1-5 start in 2018 and 10-6 finish, including a victory over the Texans at NRG Stadium? I predicted in August the Texans would start 0-3, so I’m not surprised. Now, if they start 0-4, it’s time to hit the panic button.
Oh, I almost forgot, stunningly, a few of you want Bill O’Brien fired. Imagine that.
Please check out the Chronicle’s two television shows this season: “Texas Sports Nation” airs at around 11:30 p.m. Sundays on KPRC (Channel 2) after NBC's football game. “Texas Sports Nation: In Depth” runs twice a month on AT&T SportsNet Southwest, which also reruns it at different times. The staff is putting a lot of time and effort into the shows, and we hope you like the content.
As always, thank you for contributing to the Mailbag, reading our stories in the Chronicle's print editions and online at Texas Sports Nation, where we also have multiple weekly podcasts. As you do every week, please send your comments and questions to [email protected]. Note: questions have been edited for clarity and/or brevity.
Q: Same BS again this year. There have been many changes, millions of dollars spent, lots of new coaches and plenty more excuses to come. Bill O’Brien is the one constant. He is not a great coach, not even a good coach and still a worse GM. By the time McNair realizes we will be auditioning the next quarterback to lead them nowhere. The excuses are so old. — David P.
Q: Your grade of the HC/GM should be an F. It’s hard to write this during the fourth quarter of this game where I knew, as well as you, the Texans wouldn’t win. But going for it on 4th down in the first half again on our side of the field is flat out stupid. I would have been OK with it in the 4th quarter on Baltimore’s side of the field because we were down by two scores and a field goal wasn’t going to help. If the guards can’t run block or pass block any better than this then I have to call out the GM. Does Bill understand that the rest of the NFL coaches know the offensive line cannot block long enough for a deep route to hurt them. It appears he has built a quick-strike offense fantasy built around deep pass routes that does not reflect the offensive line’s ability to block. Use Cobb and the TEs more and run the clock because our defense is not built to be on the field for long stretches and we surely haven’t scared the opponent defensively. Please do not say we played Baltimore better this time then last time. We lost and until the coaching/drafting/trading gets better, the Texans will always be full of noise and nothing else. — Glenn P.
Q: It's amazing that the Texans still keep getting national television slots. And every time they do Bill O'Brien uses it to showcase really stupid coaching decisions. That David Johnson trade looks bad now, with no one to block for him, and no one to pass protect for Deshaun. And Hopkins is enjoying great success with a dynamic QB and 2-0 record. The more things change, the more things stay the same. The Texans are again proving to not be ready for the start of the season. Those poor guys are bad at everything, poor offensive line play, no pass rush, poor tackling, and boy do they get outcoached. Teams take on the personality of their coach. And OB is never prepared and extremely unpredictable. That offense looks the same to me and so does the sad sack defense. Poor Deshaun deserves better than running for his life game after game. — Ronald J.
Q: I just want to say that I'm sorry you had to sit through the entire Ravens-Texans game. At least I could switch to the U.S. Open golf tournament. I'm not going to rag on anybody this morning. Just some thoughts that seem to me to be reasonable concerning Deshaun Watson. I was prompted on this subject by Brian Smith's first paragraph of his column. To paraphrase, one of these days he is going to shout, “REALLY?” when another questionable 4th down call comes in. There are just a few gifted QBs that have an innate gunslinger quality about them. Watson, Jackson, Mahomes, Favre, and Russell Wilson, to name a few. I think Watson is being mismanaged. The GM/HC is trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole. He is by nature a gunslinger. He is unconventional and they are trying to make him conventional. Turn him loose! Let him use the play called as a suggestion. See what happens when he is allowed to be who he is. My observation is he’s not a pocket QB. I see nothing in Kelly's play-calling that differs from O'Brien. Tim Kelly is an O'Brien clone. He studied and was groomed by O'Brien. What did we expect? I know, it's early. They were expected to lose this game. I just wish they would have gone out on their shields and not pouting on the bench. I know eventually O'Brien will be let go. My recommendation for replacement is Ravens DC Wink Martindale. Have you ever seen a more ravenous defense! You just wonder why we can’t be like that. They do trade film don't they? Weaver should study them until his eyes bleed. — Joe K.
Q: Hopkins is making Kyler Murray an MVP candidate. All Texans fans wish OB would go away. I worry about your sanity if you can't get over the Hopkins trade. Normally when you have fourth-and-1 at your 34, you punt. Why wouldn't you punt? Because your defense is arguably the worst in the NFL. Odds are they’ll be even worse if they are tired. It's one thing to know it another to announce it to the Ravens. Perhaps OB forgot, it's an emotional game. How do you think the Ravens felt then? OB’s got one of the most gifted QBs the NFL has ever seen at eluding a pass rush. What does a pump fake do? It gets DL to raise their hands and DBs to make a move. This is why the Texans are so damn frustrating. Yes, they stink on defense, and yes, they can barely block on most plays, but they still have the magician, DW4. What makes him so elusive? Body movements — subtle and not so subtle just like Air Jordan. It happens so quickly for these phenomenal athletes. It’s more instinct than thought. If you know anyone who has any influence with OB, pay them to whisper the words "pump fake." I bet you DW4 can sell a pump fake better than most. — Juan B.
Q: I was hoping the Texans would not start the season 0-2. The Ravens again beat the Texans. The Texans were outcoached and outplayed. The Ravens organization is clearly at a higher level than the Texans. The Texans' defense again was not effective against the run. The offensive line was not consistent with pass blocking or picking up the blitz. Then there was the fourth-and-1 at their 34. The coaching staff is hired to give you the best chance to win. This was not the best call, ever, on your side of the field against the Ravens defense. The play that was called had no chance of succeeding. This has become an alarming pattern for this team every year. Can we win in Pittsburgh? Not with this play-calling, poor defense and sporadic offense. I’m hopeful for a Texans win, but I see this year being very long and disappointing. — Darryl K.
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TEXAS SPORTS NATION: TV & PODCASTS JOHN MCCLAIN, AARON WILSON Podcast: Why the Texans sit at 0-2 Q: The Texans looked a little more competitive but did not show anything to convince me they can beat the Steelers so I'm seeing an 0-3 hole. Hope springs eternal which is essential for Texans fans. This looks like my year to adopt the Cardinals as my team. I lived in Phoenix for 50 years so it's not a random choice. With DeAndre Hopkins playing like he's a Cardinals veteran alongside the ever-reliable Larry Fitzgerald, I'm sure they're a fun team to watch and a nightmare to defend against. I'd like to become convinced that Bill O'Brien knows what he's doing, but the mountain of evidence to the contrary just keeps growing. — Greg G.
Q: If Houston played KC and Baltimore nine more times each, they would lose all nine to both teams. They're probably not in the top five in the AFC! These are the teams they must compete with just to reach a Super Bowl. Houston is not even in the conversation to win it all. This sucks again for loyal Houston fans begging for a winner. O'Brien is the problem, not the solution. I fear we have many years before being able to make and succeed in the playoffs. I see easily an 8-8 team this year. — Rhett D.
Q: I listen to Sports Radio 610 and read the comments from everyone and its all the same old thing — it’s O’Brien’s fault. When do all these high-priced prima donnas start hearing the comments about them? O’Brien got rid of Clowney because he wanted too much money, the same reason that he’s with his third team in three years. He got rid of Hopkins because he had three years left on the contract he signed. When is enough enough? These guys talk about helping people, then buy more cars or more jewelry or go to the strip clubs and make it rain. When do the owners that took the chance and spent their money to buy these teams say enough is enough and lock the doors and say no more, let’s get real on all these demands and I own the team and it’s my way or the highway? They don’t need the players — the players need them. — Tommy P.
Q: Football 101: You can't expect to win by trading away your best players. — Tim H.
Q: Bring DeAndre Hopkins back home. Please get rid of BOB, he's ruining the teams. Get rid of everyone in organization staff and the medical staff as well. — Billy W.
Q: I have lived in Houston and followed sports and Houston is just not a winning town. Look at the poor play in this year’s first two games. You gave them an F. I give them a big F-minus. Okay, you don't win every game, but you should be at the top. We had a few times where we did get to the top but not near enough. Now the best was the Luv Ya Blue days with Bum Phillips. The owner did not like Bum getting all the credit so off went Bum, down went the Oilers. Sports is just way out of control. Look at the pay they get, the best heart surgeon does not come anywhere near. Now the real problem is kneeling when our beautiful flag is presented and the national anthem is played. Protest is no problem as when done in a positive and proper manner. These kneelers have a nationwide audience. What a disgrace for this great country. Remember, these guys are able to kneel because of the veterans. Just find another place and method to protest. I look at the headstones of our military with KIA (Killed in Action) and look what they gave for little pay. This protesting by kneeling has to stop. I and many others no longer watch or purchase commodities from the advertisers. This virus will also hurt. . I stand for the veterans. — James M.
The Houston Chronicle’s Brian T. Smith discusses Texans coach Bill O’Brien’s curious decisions In their loss to the Ravens and whether anything has changed with the franchise. Video: Houston Chronicle Q: It all goes back to coaching and a head coach is only as good as the personnel around him. Frank Broyles passed that on to me a long time ago. And looks like he might have known what he was talking about. — Jim D.
Q: I couldn’t agree more with you on the grade you gave the Texans against the Ravens. It’s probably not too late or too early to get rid of O’Brien as we all figured they would start out slow. That being said even if they go 10-6, they’re nowhere near the quality of the Ravens or the Chiefs. They have way too many holes on defense and even though they’ve got some big-name wide receivers, they are not on the same page. And the defense is absolutely horrible. Why have Kyler Murray and DeAndre Hopkins been able to get on the same page so quickly while the Texans are struggling? I looked at their schedule and based on how they’ve played even though it’s been only two weeks I figure them to be no better than 8-8. That being said, I think O’Brien should be fired. I don’t know who should replace him. It looks like trading Hopkins is a catastrophic mistake and trading Clowney he has also been a catastrophic mistake. Not resigning Reader is a catastrophic mistake. — Glen K.
A: Glen, why was trading Clowney a catastrophic mistake? He didn’t do much in his one season with Seattle and had fewer sacks than Jacob Martin. He’s still getting in shape with the Titans. Would you have given him a $100 million contract? Nobody else has. As for D.J. Reader, good against the run, but over the last nine games last season, including the playoffs, they allowed like 166 yards a game rushing. And they still can’t stop the run.
Q: Any idea why the Texans elected not to have crowd noise pumped into the stadium? Also, what the hell was Bill O’Brien thinking going forward on fourth and 1 on his own side of the field? — Jimmy B.
A: They had crowd noise, Jimmy, but they didn’t have the volume turned up. As for the fourth and 1, the Ravens blitzed and nobody picked it up and the pass was incomplete. Sometimes you’re the bug. Sometimes you’re the windshield. OB was the bug.
Q: I am a Texans fan and will watch and try to be positive, but nothing helps. Why doesn't offensive line push these teams back? Why is our QB constantly trying to throw 30 yards? Why is our center always standing after a play, typically backward and not forward? — Stephen G.
A: The offensive line is off to a bad start against damn good defenses, Stephen. Watson is running for his life and trying to find receivers down the field, and he’s still thrown a lot of short passes.
Q: Your article said Bill O'Brien called the fourth-down tragedy. Later in the article it said Tim Kelly is calling the plays. It looks like an OB call to me. Is O'Brien still calling the plays and Kelly is just a puppet or what? I was ready to turn the game off right after that call. I knew how the rest of the game would go. More of the same with stupid offensive calls. Both KC and Baltimore have active, varied offenses. Coach puts Watson in a position where the offense can't even operate. He continues to try to jam up the middle with his running plays. Isn't there some creativity somewhere? — Chuck W.
A: Chuck, O’Brien made the decision to go for it, and Kelly called the play.
Q: No takeaways about the coaching? I know you graded them F in your report card. Just curious if you had a more profound opinion? Remember OB’s the GM as well. No opinion on any of his trades so far? I know it’s early but I don’t see progress but then again that’s why as fans we look to you for insight. — Francisco M.
A: Francisco, I wrote a column that included OB. I try not to duplicate things in my On the Texans column with my takeaways. Plus, I have to pay attention to what our columnists, Brian T. Smith and Jerome Solomon, are writing. Brian wrote about the fourth-and-1 call and quoted O’Brien. I wrote about it but didn’t quote Bill because we’re not supposed to duplicate quotes if we can avoid it. After a game, we try to cover every single angle in the Chronicle's print editions and on our sports website, Texas Sports Nation. As for OB’s trades, I’ve written about them often.
Q: Now that we are two games in, who is the best quarterback in the AFC South? I know I have heard a lot of hype suggesting Deshaun Watson is the best, but if you go with wins, he is not the best. If you prefer using stats, he is buried behind such stellar talents as Gardner Minshew, Baker Mayfield and Justin Herbert. He is so far below Ryan Tannehill, Deshaun would need a telescope to see up that far. So is it the QB, the O-line coach or the BOB that is the problem with Deshaun? What irked me the most about the coverage of the team is trying to blame the defense. The defense was not good against KC but they held the Ravens to 16 points through three quarters. The lone touchdown was set up by the first of three turnovers by the offense in the first quarter. When you go for fourth and 1 in your territory, you need to make it. Three offensive turnovers in the first half is awful. The defense did let down in the fourth quarter but you could see it coming with their body language. You could tell they knew what we all knew. This offense is awful and they were never coming back. It is going to be a long year. I hope Deshaun survives it. — Tim M.
A: Tim, they didn’t commit three turnovers in the first quarter. As for who’s the best QB in the AFC South, if you ask GMs and coaches around the NFL, I imagine everyone will tell you it’s Watson. You’re already written him off after two games against the best teams in the NFL.
Q: I had a chance to hear your national radio interview on the Sirius NFL station Sunday morning. I thought you were really informative and brutally objective and really gave the rest of the country a sense of how many of us feel here locally. My questions are: How do you prepare for these things? My sense is that you stay immersed in your subject matter and then almost speak a verbal article in the Chronicle. And when did you start feeling comfortable doing these things. Finally, thank you so much for speaking in complete sentences. — Ray M.
A: Thank you for listening, Ray, and taking the time to write. I do so many talk shows, podcasts, Zooms and a weekly television show and write six days a week for the Chronicle — every day but Saturday — and it just comes out when I open my big mouth. I love what I do, and I’m blessed to be doing it for a 45th year at the Chronicle. I try not to turn down anyone who calls me for a radio appearance, Zoom, podcast, etc. if I can work them in. I try to accommodate everyone on a weekly basis.
Q: I'm curious as to why Bill O'Brien never provides specific details on what the team needs to work on after a bad game. It's always, “We need to do better" types of comments. I don't know why he will not provide specific details to the media and fans. Why is he always so vague? — Dan W.
A: Dan, he addressed the bad run defense, Keke Coutee’s fumble, lack of consistency, etc., after the Baltimore loss. He does say they need to play and coach better. He’ll never single out players for criticism, and they appreciate it even if the fans don’t.
Q: I know it’s a long season, but how much longer are the McNairs going to tolerate Billy O’s slow starts and faith-based personnel decisions. For the better part of seven years we have been hearing Billy say, “We have to start faster.” And the last few years, Billy has let go of or traded the best players on the team — Duane Brown, Brandon Brooks, Ben Jones, Glover Quin, JD Clowney, D-Hopkins, D.J. Reader. How do other teams figure out how to pay all these guys but Billy can’t? I know it’s not all Billy’s fault, but after the past few years, shouldn’t the McNairs realize Billy’s a below-average coach, at best? — Louis L.
A: Geez, Louis, you’re so off base on some of your comments. Rick Smith traded Brown and let Quin go in free agency to sign Ed Reed. Brooks, Jones and Reader left in free agency. Would you have paid all of them what they wanted? Would you have paid Clowney $100 million? Teams have to make financial decisions on the salary cap. They can’t pay every player what he asks for. Nobody does.
Q: I am amazed what Jacksonville has done the first two games. Jay Gruden has Minshew playing rather well and his offense looks to be pretty good. Is it possible that Cal's football team is imploding and the brain trust he has in place doesn't know that it is happening? I kind of got excited when the KILT 610 talking heads were saying things about all the speed at WR, and having two RBs who can catch the ball as well as run. And the fact that there were three new coordinators, bringing in new ideas and things should be different and much better. Looks like the OC is simply a clone of the previous one. Not sure about the DC. I still see opposing WRs and TEs running free like last year, and as you have pointed out many times, the run defense has disappeared. But Anthony Weaver is not missing gap assignments and trying to arm tackle ball carriers. Several of the players have gotten paid, but Cal is not getting his money's worth so far. When you predicted an 0-3 start, I figured you probably were correct and I thought those losses would be 2- or 3-point affairs, much like 2018. What I am seeing this season reminds a whole lot of 2005. Seemingly good players and coaches, but terrible execution and suspect game plans. From what you have said and written, Cal will not be making any changes unless the wheels completely fall off. Right now, I think his organization might be riding on the rims, but the wheels are still turning. Albeit slowly. Before the Baltimore game started, I watched the last 20 minutes of Arlington and Atlanta. Can you imagine Cal's team ever doing what Jerry's team did in that game? I feel bad that you have to endure another season covering Cal's team. I would truly love to see you cover a championship team before you retire. — Dennis W.
A: Dennis, if they finish 2-14 like they did in 2005, I expect OB will be fired as Dom Capers was. But I don’t see them finishing 2-14.
Q: I'm holding off any opinion on Kahale Warring at this point thanks to Bennie Joppru, a second-round pick in 2003 who never played a game after going on IR three years in a row. He seems to have played in one game in his fourth year and wound up in Seattle getting into five games and was never heard of again. Saved on laundry bill never having to wash his uniform. It's so easy and fun to be mean when you are a fan. — Larry V.
A: Larry, unfortunately, when I see Warring going on IR for a second consecutive season, I think of Joppru, too. Unfortunately. Maybe he’ll figure it out and make something out of himself because he’s got talent but hasn’t learned how to use it.
Sign up for the Daily Playbook newsletter Texas sports are back! Get the latest scores, news and analysis. Enter your email By subscribing, you agree to our Terms of use and acknowledge that your information will be used as described in our Privacy Policy. Photo of John McClain John McClain Follow John on: mcclain_on_nfl John McClain, a Waco native who graduated from Baylor in 1975, is in his 45th year at the Houston Chronicle and his 44th covering the National Football League, including the Oilers and Texans. He worked for the Waco Tribune Herald from 1973-76, when he accepted a job with the Chronicle. to cover the original Houston Aeros of the World Hockey Association.
McClain has a plaque in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio as the 2006 winner of the Dick McCann Memorial Award presented annually by the Pro Football Writers of America to a writer for his long and distinguished coverage of the NFL. He is past president of the Pro Football Writers of America. In 2019, he was voted into the Texas Sports Hall of Fame’s second class of media inductees.
He's a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame Selection Committee, the Pro Football Hall of Fame Seniors Committee and the Texas Sports Hall of Fame Selection Committee.
In 2015, he was named as a Gridiron Legend in Texas, becoming the third member of the media behind Dave Campbell and Mickey Herskowitz. In 2019, he was voted into the Texas Sports Hall of Fame's second class of media honorees.
McClain can be heard six times a week on the Texans' flagship station Sports Radio 610 in Houston. He also does weekly sports talk shows in Nashville, Knoxville, Waco, Austin and San Antonio.
McClain also has appeared in eight movies: The Rookie, The Longest Yard, Spring Breakers, Secretariat, Invincible, Cook County, The Game Plan and Make It Rain.
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Sports Betting 101: Moneyline Betting Explained - How a ... What is the How I got banned from sports betting... - Arbitrage ... Puck line Explained What is Moneyline in Sports Betting - YouTube

The moneyline will work just as easily with a $5 or $10 wager as it does with $100. Moneyline Uses Besides baseball and hockey, moneylines are used for betting on other sports where a point spread becomes irrelevant, such as auto racing, boxing, soccer, and tennis. This quick tutorial will help you understand how to read a hockey betting line. Here is an example of one: Detroit +105 +1.5(-270) Over 5.5 (+115) Colorado -125 -1.5 (+230) Under 5.5 (-135) The home team will always be listed on the bottom. Comparing the money line to the run line in baseball or puck line in hockey, the benefit ‘can’ be slightly reduced juice (vig, or commission). For example, many online sportsbooks charge a 5% vig on baseball or hockey money line bets. However, it’s harder to find reduced juice on run lines and puck lines, where punters normally pay 10% vig. The money line is actually the most straightforward bet you can have on any sport. Whilst the spread bet is on a team to win and by how many, the money line is a bet on simply a team to win. Money Line – How it Works. Here is a typical money line for a game in the NFL: Green Bay Packers +180 Pittsburgh Steelers -200 Point spread betting in hockey. The point spread in hockey odds is often referred to as the puck line. In the NHL, the puck line is almost always set at 1.5, meaning the favorite needs to win by ...

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Sports Betting 101: Moneyline Betting Explained - How a ...

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